S. Morgan Friedman - Overheard in New York Updated: Conversations from the Streets, Stores, and Subways

They are presented as heard, without any attempt to edit or censor, the objective being to give the reader an unscientific but revealing peek at the private opinions held by some people in a major city. Some readers may find certain statements hurtful, outrageous, or offensive. In publishing this material, however, neither the authors nor the publisher intends in any way to endorse or advance any of the viewpoints expressed. This book is simply a slice of real for better or for worse.

America, I ask you: if given a choice, would you rather hear your boring friends complain to you about the same dull coworkers and mindless nights out, or would you rather hear strangers talking about the most intimate details of their sex lives? Why spend another moment lending an ear to your mother as she details either her various doctor appointments or the wait at the Chinese restaurant she went to last night for dinner (at 4 P.M .) when you could be listening to the excruciating details of a Brazilian bikini wax being broadcast so loudly by the Girl on Cell Phone in front of you at the local bodega? (This really happened to me; finally, I asked to see.) Human nature being what it is, Im sure this isnt a recent phenomenon. Imagine being the lucky bloke who got to overhear these conversations: Caveman #1: Ugh. Caveman #2 (shaking head in an ironic way): Oogh. Burning bush: Moses! Hey, Moses, over here! Its me, God! Moses: What the fuck ?! Michelangelo: The ceiling ??! Are you out of your frickin mind?! Which brings me to the fantastic website Overheard in New York. Ever since being linked to OINY by my friend Jess, I am so much more in tune with my fellow New Yorkers. Not to get in touch with their emotional troubles or out of concern for their welfare, no! I desperately want to hear some inane intercourse, submit it when I get home, and get it posted on the site! If I see some poor hobo in despair (hobo being the greatest word Overheard has brought back to the modern vernacular), do I run over to him with compassion and a dollar bill in hand? No! I prick up my ear like my dog, Walli, during an approaching thunderstorm and run over with my Treo Palm Pilot Memo Pad lighted and ready for action! Whereas I used to carry a tiny tape recorder around to capture a beautiful melody that might cross my mind when away from the piano, now I use it to surreptitiously tape the conversation between the East Side Lady with Leggings and the Naked Homeless Woman.

Shockingly, I am now often late to an appointment, not because I was stuck on the phone helping with the details of a benefit for my favorite charity, hell no, its because I decided to ride the elevator thirty extra floors to hear the end of the conversation between the Lower East Side Hipster and the Hispanic Chick. How many times have you been up all night, pacing the floors high on caffeine, because you ordered twelve extra cups of coffee so as to not miss a word of the irritating yet fascinating conversation between the Old Coot and the Yuppie Chick sitting at the next table at the Carnegie Deli! Admit it, you too have had to walk twenty blocks back downtown because you stayed on the subway two extra stops to stand next to the Bimbo and the Euro Trash Guy as they tried unsuccessfully to speak intelligently about art and fashion. And so, America, keep on talking! You might be the unexpected afternoons entertainment for some wisenheimer (like myself ) who will always jump at the chance to feel superior to any fellow Manhattanite. Face it, you may be the flavor one cant quite put their finger on in this melting pot that we call home. Wear your uncalled-for opinions and demonically bad sense of direction with pride! Dont whisper; speak out, and in direction! I am hanging on your every word! Marc Shaiman