Land - I aint doin it: unfiltered thoughts from a sarcastic southern sweetheart

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This book is dedicated to every single one of you reading these pages. Laughter is medicine. May this ridiculous book be the Bengay to your aching joints.

To my children. I love you. Be kind and love others. Never make fun of people (unless you have a filter on your face).

And finally, to my granny. Jimmie Evangeline Cole May 27, 1929December 14, 2018 I wish you couldve read this nonsense, but you already knew all the stories anyway.

Y ou have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. (preferably the beach and/or Europe)

Youll look up and down streets. Look em over with care. About some you will say, I dont choose to go there. (true dat)

With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, youre too smart to go down any not-so-good street. (one would think)

Look, I really appreciate your insight there, Dr. Seuss. But apparently you dont have a booking agent who tells you where youre gonna be from week to week. And youve evidently never gone down any not-so-good streets on your early forties dating route (I aint doin it). Well get to that in a later chapter (that could be its own book).

Yes, okay? I have brains in my head and some pretty cute shoes, but some of the places on my journey I would most definitely not choose... have chosen. Whatever.

Heres the point. Some roads we go down are a little bumpy. They are not all newly paved, with an easy traffic flow and a steady pace of eighty miles per hour. Sometimes we even DO choose to go down the bumpy roads. Why? I dont know. Thats why Im in counseling. But listen, I can promise you thissome of the roads Ive gone down were about as bad as I-40 into Arkansas, but some of the scenery has been breathtaking. Some of the people I picked up along the way (figuratively speaking) have made the biggest impact on my life. And those rocky roads have helped me appreciate the smell of fresh asphalt.

Sometimes we dont know where were headed. We dont know what lies ahead. Most of the time its a crap-shoot. We take wrong turns here and there. But if we take time to breathe it all in, learn the hard lessons, and lean in to the ultimate Map Maker himself, we might actually enjoy the ride. We just might get to the other side and find that the risks were worth taking. We might even find out some things about ourselves on that ol Arkansas stretch that we didnt know. We might find that the tears and the potholes actually made us a little more resilientthat we are weaker, but stronger, than we ever dreamed.

And maybe, just maybe, well learn to take a different route (date better guys) next time around. Maybe well learn that we are more than we ever thought we could be and that who weve become is more beautiful than who we were before. Maybe well find that we have a country-girl history but a big-city future.

When I Aint Doin It found its home, I was sitting behind a desk. I had just gone through another beautiful, ugly transitional time in my lifethis time, a massive move with my kids, back home to live with my parents. I had taken a job just to get me back to Tennessee and over the hump, but it was a short hump and I needed stability.

Upon my resurfacing and transition back into normal life, hilarity and sarcasm found their way back into my world as well. I had missed them like most people miss church during daylight savings. We finally had the band back together and I wasnt gonna let it breakup for anything ever again. This time, I was keeping all my members close and I was determined to climb back up the life chart once again. I was making a comeback.

Having mercy on myself in those coming days manifested in many different ways. Staying surrounded with people who loved me and held me accountable was crucial. Being good to myself in the form of mani/pedis and dinners with friends over talks and tears also helped. Reminding myself of who God says I am and combatting continual tapes that my brain was playing about how I wasnt worthy would also be a big part of my moving forward. And just as important a role in my healing processlaughter.

Ive always had a knack for being able to make fun of myself, but after what I had been through, that would be a little slow-going. After a few months of recovery and my allowance to walk the process and start to heal, it didnt hurt quite like it did at first. It was so good to laugh again and find the funny in everyday life. Because as you know, life is funny and so are the people in it.

Now, I have a lot of good friends. Some of them get me more than others. The good ones are the ones who know all my faults and failures, know that Im an idiot but love me just the same. The ones who get my humor, who understand the inner workings of my warped, sarcastic brain and appreciate all that it entails. And these friends are the select few that were getting the inside track on my nonsense coming straight at them on the daily... in the form of ridiculous videos. And hideous filtered videos of stupidity were how we coped with life and loss and nursing and pastoring and crunching numbers. Its how we coped with parent issues and children issues and painful issues. By laughing. And as if the tears werent enough, the laughter kept us close and connected. Months had gone by when one day, a friend saw a video Id sent just to her and our inner circle that particularly made her laugh. If I remember correctly, her exact words were, You are so stupid... and these are really funny. You should post one on your page.

Umm... you just crossed the line. Post on social media?? NEVER! I am single but I dont want to stay that way forever, so no to that. No to public shaming. Have I not done that enough? Has my recent life choice not been enough public scrutiny for one person to have to endure?

A few weeks went by of more private nonsense and nudging to post between friends, until I finally said to myself, What do you have to lose? Absolutely nothing. And with that, I posted a video to social media. And the funniest thing happenedpeople started to watch it. And they started to ask for more. More... I AINT DOIN IT videos.

I looked at Abby and said, What are they talking about, I AINT DOIN IT?

You said I AINT DOIN IT in your video. Hmm... So I did.

This, my friends, would prove to be the accident of all accidentsthe phrase that would forever change the course of my life. And so with that request, and considering the fact that there is material on every corner, I made another video for public consumption and ended it with nothing other than I AINT DOIN IT. People always ask, Where do you get your material? Youre joking, right? Idiotic behavior and comical life situations are as readily available as Jesus forgiveness upon repentance. That fruit is low hanging and ripe for the picking. You just say when.