Wendy Watson Nelson - Rock Solid Relationships: Strengthening Personal Relationships with Wisdom from the Scriptures

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First printing in hardbound 2003. First printing in paperbound 2010.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Nelson, Wendy Watson, 1950

Rock solid relationships : strengthening personal relationships with wisdom from the scriptures / Wendy Watson Nelson.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN-10 1-59038-186-6 (hardbound)

ISBN-13 978-1-59038-186-1 (hardbound)

ISBN-13 978-1-60641-728-7 (paperbound)

1. Interpersonal relationsReligious aspectsThe Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 2. Interpersonal relationsReligious aspectsMormon Church. 3. Christian lifeMormon authors. I. Title.

BL626.33.N45 2010

248.4893dc22 2009050249

Printed in the United States of America

R. R. Donnelley, Crawfordsville, IN

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

For Ginny and Kathy

And now, as the preaching of the word had a great
tendency to lead the people to do that which was justyea,
it had had more powerful effect upon the minds of the people
than the sword, or anything else, which had happened unto
themtherefore Alma thought it was expedient that
they should try the virtue of the word of God.
Alma 31:5

Acknowledgments

The love and counsel of many friends and family members have made this book possible.

Thanks to Mom and Dad, who now live on the other side of the veil, for consistently immersing me in Rock-solid love and Rock-solid faith.

Thanks to those clients with whom Ive worked, who against seemingly insurmountable odds have cleared away the debris of their lives by accessing the power that is in the Atonement and turned their rocky relationships into Rock-solid ones.

Thanks to my graduate students, who have given me an ever-increasing desire to discover in the scriptures the wisdom that can help all of us become better marriage and family therapists.

Thanks to my lifelong friend Barbara, who read the manuscript on what should have been her vacation and offered such helpful suggestions from her perspective as a young widow with grown children.

Thanks to Jana Erickson at Deseret Book for her vision, hand-holding, hand-delivering, patience, and enduranceall of which reduced my hand-wringing. What a dream you are to work with!

Thanks to Richard Peterson for his editorial work and for so gracefully helping me express my thoughts more clearly.

Thanks to Truman and Ann and Heber and Ardeth for their gentle mentoring, which always invites me to think beyond what Ive thought before and consider other ways to build my life upon The Rock.

Thanks to Blaine and Kathy and Wayne and Leslie, who show what Rock-solid marriages and friendships are all about.

Thanks to my favorite nephew and nieces and their spouses: Brad and Cindy, Karyn and Chad, Cyndi and Ron, Mandy and Troy, and Rebeccafor the Rock-solid love they offer me in various ways, including being willing to experiment upon the word.

Thanks to Brittney, Gabrielle, Tyler, Allison, and Sarah, my great-nieces and great-nephew, who bring me such joy as I hear of their latest childhood antics and from whom I draw strength by looking into their wonderful faces.

Thanks to my favorite brother-in-law, Bryce, for always blessing our family with his Rock-solid faith in priesthood power.

Thanks to my Rock-solid friends Sheri and Cathy, who are like sisters to me.

And finally, thanks to Kathy and Ginny, who are not only my sisters but also my friends. Thanks for feeling so confident in our Rock-solid sibling relationships to be able to speak the unspeakable and offer irreverent comments on my early drafts and ideas for this book.

Introduction

Remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall (Helaman 5:12; italics added).

What a promise! If, and as, we build our lives upon our Savior Jesus Christ we will succeed! In fact, the promise is that no matter what the odds are against us, we cannot fall. Now, theres a guarantee we can count on!

In a world filled with so much uncertainty, terror, and tragedy we need:

Places of security

Commitments we can bank on

People we can trust

Love we can rely on

We need rock-solid relationships!

Rock-solid relationships are those relationships that endure and flourish when the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune (Hamlet III, i, 5668) combine with the adversarys storms (see Ephesians 6:12) and the worlds alluring sophistries in a relentless and sinister effort to undermine and ultimately destroy love.

Rock-Solid Relationships Are Built upon The Rock

So how can we build rock-solid relationships? The only way is upon The Rock, the Rock of our Redeemer. Rock-solid relationships, have as their foundation, Jesus Christ. His Power, Light, Love, Truth, and Spirit are their bedrock. Relationships built on these cannot fall. They just simply cant. They never willbecause they are Rock-solid.

Rock-solid relationships are built upon The Word, who is Christ, and His words, the scriptures. The prophet Nephi, taught, Feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do (2 Nephi 32:3; italics added).

All things?

Yes. All things.

How to talk with our teenage son who is suddenly pulling away from us?

How to show love to my wife, so that she really experiences the deep love I have for her?

How to work with my brother on settling our parents estate, so that our relationship is still alive at the end of the process?

How to respond to my sisterwho seems to twist everything I say to herso that we can be closer?

How to help my seemingly indifferent husband think about my needs sometimes?

How to build a bridge from my heart to my fathers and put years of conflict behind us?

How to link arms with my colleagues so that we can accomplish the important tasks at hand and stop wasting our energies on complaints and criticisms, fears and jealousies?

How to be a better wife and mother?

Yes. Absolutely. Certainly. All of these things. As a marriage and family therapist for 30 years, I am convinced the scriptures are the very best how to books on relationships. The scriptures are the first and last word on how to be a better husband, father, wife, mother, parent, son, daughter, sibling, in-law, friend, neighbor, boss, employee, or any other relationship you can name. The scriptures contain the answers to how to build and strengthen