Kerry Shook - Love at Last Sight: Thirty Days to Grow and Deepen Your Closest Relationships

E ven though weve been married for more than a quarter of a century, it seems audacious to claim that our love for each other when our eyes meet for the last time on this earth will be greater than at any other moment. After all, were frequently insensitive, grumpy, and just plain selfish. Why bother setting such a lofty, measurable, and public goal?

We strongly believe in living intentionally; that constantly aiming for something is the only hope you have of reaching it. More than that, we believe in and are counting on Gods power to do through us what were too weak to do on our own, and we rely on his grace to cover the countless times we fall short in our attempts to love like he does.

Carl Becker observed, Generally speaking, men are influenced by books which clarify their own thought, which express their own notions well, or which suggest to them ideas which their minds are already predisposed to accept. Its our hope that something weve written will resonate within you and will cause you to reach through the mist of your memories and remember, deep down, what youve always known to be true. And with that remembering, you will have taken the first steps toward the love youve always longed for.

As we did in our book One Month to Live, we have combined our two voices to be represented as one. These experiences and insights come from both of us, and rather than constantly identifying which of us is speaking to you in any particular moment, we will write in the first person as I and we.

You have a part in this too. This book is intended to be interactive, to be applied in your life.

Its our hope and prayer that through this book youll find the motivation and resources you need to make the most of the relationships that are dearest to you.

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.

C. S. L EWIS

I dont wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone.

J AVAN

R ight now, there are three relationships in your life that trouble you. Perhaps a good friend said something to you yesterday. It felt critical, but youre not sure what she meant. The two of you used to be so close, but lately youve been drifting apart. Somethings not right.

Oh, and your mother called. Theres that. You know you should return her call, but you havent. Why? You know there are things you should have said before, you avoided them, and now you feel its too late. Its always so hard with her. Always messy.

And then your son has been missing. Not missing physically, but hes been distant, quiet, silent. Missing emotionally. Whats that about? Whats going on in his life? You want to reach out, but he pushes you away. It worries you.

Maybe the relationships in your life arent exactly like these, but Im guessing these remind you of someone close to you, a problem relationship in your life right now. Maybe its not your mother but your father, perhaps not your son but a daughter-in-law. It could be your best friend. Whoever it is, he or she is someone who matters to youor else the relationship wouldnt trouble you, gnaw at you on the inside, make you question and grumble, or even bring you to tears.

I suggest you have at least three such relationships in your life right now that feel messy or troubling and make your heart ache a little. The number three isnt magic, of course. It could be just one or two, although its likely to be more, not less. We all have relationships that arent what we long for them to be.

Now Im not talking about business acquaintances, casual or distant friends, fourth or fifth cousins. We all have a lot of relationships in our livesmaybe too many (and well talk about that)but, quite frankly, not all are created equal. All people are important, but not every connection in your life has equal value. The relationships we want to help you with in this book probably include your husband or wife, possibly a boyfriend or girlfriend. Your mother or father could be on this list, or maybe a son or daughter. And there could be a friend, someone close to you with whom youve shared deep things.

Its these meaningful, essential people in your lifethe key relationships you have right nowthat we want to focus on.

So take a moment and think, who are these three key people in your life? Which meaningful relationships are troubling you? Relationships you wish were closer. Relationships youd like to be deeper and richer. Relationships that trouble you, bother you, even make you a little crazy right now.

Seriously, think about it. Who are they? And now take a moment to name these three key relationships out loud.