www.horriblehistoriesworld.co.uk
With all good wishes and sincere thanks to Tracey Turner
Scholastic Childrens Books,
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First published in the UK by Scholastic Ltd, 1997
This electronic edition published 2011
Text Terry Deary, 1997
Illustrations Martin Brown, 1997
All rights reserved
eISBN 978 1407 12961 7
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Contents
Introduction
History is horrible. Especially in school. Have you noticed how teachers never tell you anything? They ask you something and expect you to know !
They use funny new words and ask you to guess what they mean! How on earth can they expect that?
And they use posh words to describe the really horrible bits of history
Then, just when theres a chance that history lessons may be getting interesting, the teacher stops and refuses to tell you the gory details.
Were the Celts really cut-throats? And why? And what did they do with those heads? What you need is a book that tells you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. What you need is a Horrible History of the cut-throat Celts!
Well! You lucky person! You just happen to have found one
Timeline
750 BC The Ancient Greeks meet traders from Hallstatt (Austria). The Greeks say they call themselves Keltoi dodgy spelling, but better than the Celts who cant write at all!
387 BC Now the Celts meet the Romans and beat them in battle. The Romans also dodgy spellers call them Celtae.
279 BC The Greeks drive the Celts out of Greece after the Battle of Delphi. The Greeks have the help of bad weather and landslides (which is cheating a bit).
225 BC At the Battle of Telemon in Greece the Romans beat the Celts.
218 BC The Carthaginians of North Africa attack the Romans in Italy and the Celts help them but
202 BC The Romans beat the Carthaginians in Carthage and turn their attention to Celt lands in Spain and Northern Italy. Sweet Roman revenge.
60 BC Roman Julius Caesar decides to make a name for himself by taking over Celtic Gaul (France). Some Celts welcome him others dont and are wiped out.
52 BC Vercingetorix leads a Celtic rebellion against Caesar. Romans win and rule France. Then they start looking across the English Channel
43 BC Emperor Claudius defeats the Celts in Britain. Theyre driven back to the hills of Wales and Scotland despite
AD 61 A very bloody rebellion led by Queen Boudicca ends in another win for the Romans.
AD 84 Battle of Mons Graupius in Scotland and the last of the free Celts are now in Scotland and Ireland. The Romans rule, OK?
AD 120 Emperor Hadrian builds a wall across the North of England to keep the Pict and Scot Celts out or to keep them in, depending on which way you look at it!
AD 312 Emperor Constantine becomes a Christian and the Roman Empire converts to Christianity. Even the Celts are converted and their old ways die. No more sacrifices.
AD 410 The Romans leave Briton but Angles, Saxons and Jutes rush in and settle before the free Celts can get back. A bit like musical chairs!
AD 432 St Patrick goes to Ireland and converts Irish Celts to Christianity.
AD 493 The British Celts make one last effort to drive out the Saxons and win the Battle of Badon. Their leader is the Awesome King Arthur maybe.
AD 520 Awesome Arthur loses his last battle when he fights his own nephew maybe. But while the British Celts are squabbling the Angles and Saxons take over the south-east of Britain and create Angle-land, or England. You may have heard of it.
Getting to know the cut-throat Celts
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