Ed.D. Janet G. Woititz - Lifeskills for Adult Children
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From the author of the New York Times bestseller Adult Children of Alcoholics -- a wonderful book that affirms and encourages AcoAs by developing skills for living. Imagine how good you would feel if: You could stand up for yourself without losing your temper You could make a decision without second guessing yourself You didnt have that sense of worthlessness every time someone criticized you You could learn how to say no and stick with it In Lifeskills for Adult Children you can learn how to do these things and more. This book is designed specifically for Adult Children and teaches skills to make your complex adult life easier, while improving your sense of self-worth. Examples are provided to help clarify the lessons and exercises are given to help you practice your new skills. So, if you have difficulty: Asking for what you want Solving problems Handling criticism Saying no read Lifeskills for Adult Children - youll be glad you did.
Ed.D. Janet G. Woititz: author's other books
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Life skills--Handbooks, manuals, etc, Adult children of alcoholics--Life skills guides, Adult children of narcotic addicts--Life skills guides.
publication date
:
1990
lcc
:
HQ2037.W65 1990eb
ddc
:
362.29/13
subject
:
Life skills--Handbooks, manuals, etc, Adult children of alcoholics--Life skills guides, Adult children of narcotic addicts--Life skills guides.
Page i
Lifeskills For Adult Children
Janet G. Woititz, Ed.D. and Alan Garner, M.A.
Health Communications, Inc. Deerfield Beach, Florida
Page ii
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Woititz, Janet Geringer. Lifeskills for adult children / by Janet G. Woititz and Alan Garner. p. cm. ISBN 1-55874-070-8 1. Life skills guides. 2. Adult children of alcoholics Life skills guides. 3. Adult children of narcotic addicts Life skills guides. I. Garner, Alan, 1950- . II. Title. HQ2037.W65199089-28941 362.29'13dc20CIP
1990 Janet G. Woititz and Alan Garner ISBN 1-55874-070-8
All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the written permission of the publisher.
Publisher: Health Communications, Inc. 3201 S.W. 15th Street Deerfield Beach, Florida 33442
Cover design by Vicki Sarasohn
Page iii
Acknowledgments
I would like to thank
Linda Cooley Robert Henry Allen Lukach Marc Masino Miriam McCoy Marguerite Reget Barbara Schaeffer Ann Stuart and Roseanna Zoubeck
for their input.
JGW
To Cindy and Erick for their love and support.
To Rick Potter and his ACoA groups at Safe Harbor in Costa Mesa, California, for their wonderful help and inspiration.
AG
Page v
Contents
Introduction
vii
1. Making Contact With Others
1
2. Expressing Feelings
17
3. Active Listening
33
4. Asking For What You Want
41
5. Giving Others What They Want
49
6. Solving Problems
53
7. Asking Others To Change Their Behavior
67
8. Handling Criticism
75
9. Establishing And Defending Boundaries
85
10. Fighting Fair
97
11. Ending Conversations, Ending Visits
103
12. Ending Relationships
107
Afterword: Getting Started
111
Appendix: A Program For Learning
113
Page vii
Introduction
In a family where the first priority is to help the children grow up into mature, happy individuals, the adults of the family teach the younger members the skills they need in order to "do life." Unfortunately all over the world there are adult children who, through no fault of their own, do not have the knowledge they need to live happy, productive lives. Many are lonely and depressed much of the time, have few close friends and no real intimacy. Even if they are married or living with someone, chances are their unions are tumultuous and unsatisfying. We call these people "adult children" because although they are old enough in years to be called adults, they are young enough emotionally to be called children. Their growing has been disrupted because they come from profoundly troubled families.
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1990