Rokelle Lerner - Daily Affirmations for Adult Children of Alcoholics: For Adult Children of Alcoholics

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
is available through the Library of Congress.

1985 Rokelle Lerner

ISBN-13: 978-0-932194-27-5

ISBN-10: 0-932194-27-3

All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.

HCI, its logos and marks are trademarks of Health Communications, Inc.

Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.

3201 S.W. 15th Street

Deerfield Beach, FL 33442-8190

With special appreciation for the contributions of:

Barbara Naiditch

Lois Weisberg

Diane Halperin

Judith Bohnen

Linda Christensen

Evelyn Baron

Rokelle Lerner acknowledges the contributions of those who helped to inspire this work:

Karen Kaiser-Clark

Ernie Larsen

Rusty Berkus

Alla Bosworth Campbell

Pamela Levin

Sondra Smalley

Jean Illsley-Clark

Herbert Gravitz

Julie Bowden

Jael Greenleaf

Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse

Claudia Black

Janet Woititz

Credits:

Mark Worden, Editor

Reta Kaufman, Illustrator

Affirmations are positive, powerful statements concerning the ways in which we desire to think, feel and behave. The meditations in this book cover many aspects of our existence and help us to paint a mental portrait of what we want to become. This book was written for adults who want to replace their critical inner dialogue with positive affirmations, and thereby improve their mental picture.

The messages which we give to ourselves are the most important messages we hear. The internal briefings and conversations we hold determine our attitudes, our behavior, and the course of our lives. If, as children, we were criticized and shamed, our internal dialogue will be self-deprecating. If we are used to large doses of self-imposed sarcasm and negative reviews of our daily performance, we gradually mutilate our self-esteem, our creativity and our spirit.

As adult children of alcoholics, we can continue to remain in the past and believe the negatives which we were taught; or we can change our beliefs with affirmative thoughts which can set us free into better and more expansive experiences. What we choose to believe will ultimately rule our world. If we continue to believe we are victimsso we are. However, if we choose health, joy and lovewe will have it. The choice is always ours. The shame and critical beliefs of the past gradually lose their power to limit us as we begin to see the futility in continuing them. Affirmations are a way to wake us upto make us fully conscious and aware of the daily choices we make. And, as we learn to direct our thoughts, our feelings and behavior will naturally follow.

To use these messages effectively, read each affirmation aloud to yourself and repeat it several times. Then, slowly read the entire meditation aloud and reflect upon its meaning. For adult children of alcoholics groups, choose one affirmation and read it to the entire group. Ask individuals not only to reflect upon its meaning, but to offer specific ways that they might incorporate the affirmation into their lives.

No longer is it necessary to dwell in the intensity of pain and despair. It is possible to feed the imagination with different thoughts and create a new way of living.

It is my hope that this book will mark a new beginning for those individuals who are ready to make the choice to accept joy and light into their lives.

Rokelle Lerner

Rokelle Lerner is founder and co-director of Children Are People, Inc., a counseling, training and consulting firm in St. Paul, Minnesota. Children Are People has specialized in providing services to children and adults from alcoholic families for the past nine years. Rokelle also maintains a private practice for adults with addictive behaviors.

Rokelle is frequently featured as a primary speaker to discuss issues, thoughts and ideas of interest and relevance to children and adults who grew up in chemically dependent homes.

She is a founding board member and current treasurer of the National Association for Children of Alcoholics, and is an effective advocate for young COAs.

Rokelle was featured in the 1982 film Hope for the Children. In 1985, Esquire Magazine named her as one of Americas outstanding young women who have made an extraordinary contribution to this country.

Rokelle lives with her husband and two daughters in St. Paul.

JANUARY 1

NEW START

I WELCOME THIS NEW DAY
AND THIS NEW YEAR

Today I have a fresh start. I choose to begin a new letting go of unhealthy thoughts, feelings and attitudes that have stifled my growth.

This day I choose to think new thoughts, to look at new values and to find new ways of expressing my God-given gifts.

I now choose to deepen my understanding of myself and others. I will look at my relationships with family and my friends in a new light. I choose to have vital, healthy interactions with others.

I truly welcome this new day, this new year, and this new me. I welcome the wonderful possibilities open to me.

JANUARY 2

EXPECTATIONS

I HAVE WONDERFUL
EXPECTATIONS OF THIS DAY

The day that stretches before me holds promise of much good. I have been given a blank piece of paper on which to write, and I will write only that which I lovingly wish for myself:

I expect today to be a day of renewal, a day of joy, a day of love and peace.

I expect this to be a day of healing; I expect to feel vibrant health surging through me.

I expect this day to be a day of joy, a day in which I feel free from anxiety. I expect this day to contain delightful surprises.

I expect this day to be a day of love. My personal relationships will be satisfying and fulfilling. I will not have to work hard to get my needs met.

I expect today to be filled with wonderful promise, and so it will be.

JANUARY 3

FEELINGS

MY FEELINGS ARE
TEMPORARY AND FLUID

Today I acknowledge that I have emotionsbut I am more than my emotions. I recognize this day that I have thoughts, but I am more than my thoughts. I need not cling to uncomfortable feelings or negative thoughts today.