Beverly D. Flaxington - Understanding Other People. The Five Secrets to Human Behavior: How to stop being frustrated by the actions of others and start taking charge of your own life — and reactions.

As a close friend and confidante of Beverly Flaxington for over 40 years, I can honestly say that there are few people that I know with the great gifts and skills that Beverly possesses in reading and understanding those around her both in personal relationships and business relationships. Her communication skills, her uncanny insightfulness and her ability to manage problems in a nonthreatening and positive way only contribute to her great strength as a person, lecturer and businesswoman and you can be helped by reading this material and learning what she knows!

Carole Ann Evans-Baer
Professional Ballroom Dance Instructor & Choreographer

One of lifes greatest truths is that unfortunately (and as much as wed like to, at times), we cannot change other peoplewe can only change ourselves and our actions to be better able to cope with the differences that exist between us.

Professor Beverly Flaxingtons teachings have tested my conventional ways of thinking and they have motivated me to be curious about people. She has inspired me to find the challenge in understanding people and the particular ways in which they communicate so that I may be able to, in turn, continuously improve myself.

Cristina Balboni
Training Coordinator, Research Management

Ive worked side-by-side with Beverly for many years in numerous corporate situations, and she is also a trusted friend. I have often asked Bev to write down her insights regarding people in terms of how to be more comfortable in their roles, as well as more effective. She hasnt steered me wrong once, and we have the results to prove it!

Ive learned a great deal from Bev regarding myself and others, and I know readers of this book will, too. Thank you, Beverly, for finally writing it all down in one place and sharing your insights so others can benefit!

Tom Morrill
Founder and President of Actegy Sales Consulting

Ive partnered with Bev on a number of client assignments, and consider her to be a friend. I am a behavioral expert and Certified Coach, but Ive always been personally and professionally helped by Bevs understanding of other people. I become aware of my own reactions and can modify my approach to be successful in communicating effectively with others. Every conversation with Bev is beneficial and I always walk away with something else to think about.

Jennifer Copley
CEO/Founder, CopleyConsulting Consultant, Behavioral Analyst, Coach & Trainer

Over 15 years ago, as her instructor, I certified Bev as a hypnotist. Since that time, as a corporate consultant, I have worked with her on corporate training, and other behavior-changing situations. She is a quick study and knows how to apply what shes learned to help people communicate more effectively.

Dr. Richard Harte
Author of Whats Keeping Your Customers Up at Night?

Beverly has helped me construct my weaknesses into strengths by giving me concrete steps that I can pursue. She has allowed me to understand that having a dream and a goal is great; however, without action they remain dormant aspirations. Beverly showed me how to identify and address a hidden message within a dialogue as a means to understand others.

Shakeel Dewji
President & Chief Investment Officer, Aurora Investment Managers, LLC

Beverly has a great talent for understanding how to read people. We have been using her services for years as a part of our hiring process. Through her insights, she has helped us hire the right people and perhaps more importantly NOT hire one or two candidates who had great resumes but raised red flags in their profiles.

Following the candidates completion of online questionnaires, Beverly debriefs us and the candidate on the results. I always look forward to these meetings because they reveal aspects of the candidates that dont come out during any other part of the hiring process. Not only that, Beverly brings such humor and empathy to these sessions that they are as enjoyable as they are learning experiences. If I sound like Im endorsing her, I am!

Randal Chinnock
Founder/CEO, Optimum Technologies, Inc.

How to stop being frustrated by the actions of others and start taking charge of your own life and reactions.

I had the pleasure to evaluate Beverly Flaxingtons book, Understanding Other People: The Five Secrets of Human Behavior, in a professional capacity. As I was reading it, to see if it would be of interest to our customers, I couldnt help but find myself deeply drawn to the concepts of the book and finding immediate application in my personal life.

Once you realize, for example, that most of us experience life through all about me filters, we gain a certain freedom in relationships. A freedom to stop feeling frustrated with anothers actions and freedom to stop trying to have someone see your point of view. With this behind you, it really is easy to make progress in relationships, to reach true win-win solutions that take into account the other persons needs and motivations, and to operate from a positive sense of empathy and solution building. The concepts Bev describes in her book have been useful in all areas of my life with family members, clients, and business colleagues. I highly recommend this interesting, entertaining, and useful read!

Kim Guimond Dellarocca
Vice President, Marketing and Communications Pershing LLC, a subsidiary of The Bank of New York

Secret Number One: Its All About ME!
Secret Number Two: Our Behavioral Styles Come Between Us
Secret Number Three: Your Values Speak Louder Than You Do
Secret Number Four: Dont Assume I Know What You Mean
Secret Number Five: Im Okay, You Are Most Definitely NOT Okay
Putting It All Together: What To Do Next

In my consulting business we use a wonderful behavioral tool called DISC (which stands for Dominance, Influencing, Steadiness and Compliance). Many people know about this tool its been around for 30 years and has been statistically validated over and over again in 30 different countries. Our consulting firm is a distributor of the tool and I have been certified in using it through a company called Target Training International. Working with this tool has really opened my eyes to the power its impact on our communication approaches. As I discuss DISC and its application here, youll hear about research I have access to as well as my own interpretation and experiences.

I wish I had a dollar for every time we reveal someones behavioral style with one of our corporate clients, in a business setting, and they say, Can you have my spouse take this? The person at our client firm who is taking the profile is able to review the results and have their own Aha! about what they do and how they act, and they will often ask us if their spouse could complete a profile, too. Our client seems to want their spouse to be able to have their own Aha! as well (or, probably more likely, they want their spouse to understand why they are the way they are and be more forgiving about their idiosyncrasies!). Even if the spouse doesnt complete a profile, our client will start to open up and share differences in style and approach and issues they encounter with their spouse as a result of behavioral mismatch.

Well find we are in a formal business setting with very often extremely successful people supposedly to do an organizational review, or provide sales training, and instead, all of a sudden, they start asking us how we can help them use this information with their spouses! Why would successful businesspeople open up to us and start telling us about the issues they have at home?