In the field of interpretation of body language there is simply no one as expert as Elizabeth Kuhnke. Her new book, Body Language, confirms her extraordinary knowledge of the subject. This book is a must for everybody!
Libby Appel, Artistic Director Emerita at Oregon Shakespeare Festival
Whether you are a manager, a recruiter, a sales person, a candidate or a client, Kuhnke's book is essential reading. It takes a complex subject and renders it accessible to all.
John Lucy, HR Director at Berwin Leighton Paisner LLP
Body Language is essential reading for anyone who wants to really understand people beyond words. Whether you're trying to decode corporate politics, or get on with the in-laws I would highly recommend this book.
John Kelly, Off Trade Director at Heineken Ireland
To rely on words alone is like viewing the world through the wrong end of a telescope. Expand your appreciation of all language a person brings to a conversation. This book will help you decode the non-verbal signals that posture and expression bring to the dialogue.
Russell Hampshire FCA
A real hands-on guide that helped me to understand the messages my body sends and then taught me how to align them with my verbal communication. It also serves very well to interpret other people's emotions. If you care about relationships reading this book is a must.
Gnter Schuble, Head of Corporate Finance & Tax at Schindler Group, Switzerland
If you are looking for a book that combines the theory of body language with insightful exercises and techniques that you can practice yourself, then this is the book for you. Body Language comprehensively reveals the most important information on nonverbal communication that everybody should learn.
Kasia Wezowski, co-founder of The Centre for Body Language
Straightforward, accessible, and filled with useful tips and exercises, this book is a must have' for HR professionals and business leaders.
Emma Lyon, Fellow CIPD and International HR Director
Clear, congruent communication in which your body language matches your spoken words is vital if you want people to understand your message. Elizabeth's tips and exercises are simple, practical and easy to implement. I highly recommend this book.
Beverley Sorsby, Head of Human Resources, Professional Services
This edition first published 2016
2016 Elizabeth Kuhnke
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Kuhnke, Elizabeth, author.
Title: Body language : learn how to read others and communicate with confidence / Elizabeth Kuhnke.
Description: Hoboken : Capstone, 2016.
Identifiers: LCCN 2016012012 (print) | LCCN 2016016289 (ebook) |
ISBN 9780857087041 (paperback) | ISBN 9780857087072 (ebk) |
ISBN 9780857087034 (ebk) | ISBN 9780857087072 (pdf) | ISBN 9780857087034 (epub)
Subjects: LCSH: Body language.
Classification: LCC BF637.N66 K8397 2016 (print) | LCC BF637.N66 (ebook) |
DDC 153.6/9dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016012012
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN 978-0-857-08704-1 (paperback)
ISBN 978-0-857-08707-2 (ebk) ISBN 978-0-857-08703-4 (ebk)
Cover design: Wiley Cover image: Toby Bridson/iStockphoto
Illustrations by Curtis Allen
Introduction
When the eyes say one thing, and the tongue another, a practiced man relies on the language of the first.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Youre probably familiar with this scenario: someone is saying one thing to you, while their body seems to be saying something else and youre left feeling confused. Do you believe the spoken words youre hearing or the body language that youre seeing? Global research and anecdotal evidence consistently show that the truth lies in the manner of delivery.
Not that words dont matter. They do. But if the words and the delivery dont match, your listeners are going to believe what they observe rather than what youre saying.
Without uttering a syllable, you can convey your thoughts, feelings, and intentions through your body language.
While your spoken words convey information like facts and data, your body reveals other information like your attitude, intentions, and general state of being. And, while you may tell a white lie or two to save someones feelings, or may create total fabrications to protect your interests, dont be surprised if your body gives the game away. For example, lets say that a colleague is given the job that you wanted and you say Im happy for you. The only problem is: your eyes are squinted, your brow is furrowed, and your fists are clenched. Your words are saying one thing while your body is saying something else. No wonder your co-worker turns away in disappointment or even worse, disgust.
However, all is not lost. By being aware of the messages your body sends out, and by practising specific gestures, postures, and expressions, you can create the impressions and convey the messages that you want to communicate. In addition, by observing and interpreting other peoples actions, you have the upper hand when it comes to understanding their mindset and responding to their behaviour.
I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be until I finally became that person.
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