Robert Phipps - Body Language: Its What You Dont Say That Matters

This edition first published 2012

2012 Robert Phipps

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data (to follow)

ISBN 9780857081742 (paperback) ISBN 9780857082084 (ebk)

ISBN 9780857082091 (ebk) ISBN 9780857082909 (ebk)

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

Set in 11/15 pt Myriad Pro by Sparks, UK www.sparkspublishing.com

Printed in Great Britain by CPI Group (UK) Ltd, Croydon, CR0 4YY / TJ International Ltd, Padstow, Cornwall, UK

Having worked in the fields of Human Psychology, NLP & Hypnotherapy for the past 21 years I can honestly say that Robert Phipps' work on body language is a must-have book for anyone who communicates with people on a regular basis, whether that be in a personal or business situation! In other words, every human being who wants to get the best out of every situation in life should read this book. Entertaining, Enlightening and Highly Educational, I would unreservedly recommend this unique publication as the Secrets and Techniques it contains are truly powerful and worth many times the small cover price.

Dr. Jonathan Royle, www.magicalguru.com

Recognising what you and others are doing with body language turns instinct into powerful knowledge. In this book Robert Phipps can help us all, at work and play, use body language to our advantage. Even learning one thing, such as looking above the bridge of someone's nose, could make a difference read and see how.

Gill Cox, Agony aunt

Robert's understanding of his subject is deep and thorough he knows what he's writing about. Plus, he can communicate that knowledge, so that every reader can put it into practice and have it make an immediate difference to everyday life. Clear, helpful, packed full of facts, insights and interactive exercises, this is the book you need if you want to master body language.

Susan Quilliam, Psychologist and Agony Aunt for numerous media including AOL

This book is crammed with treasures which throw light on a much-misunderstood topic. The easy, conversational style makes it a pleasure to read, and the focus on practical application provides numerous examples which are sure to resonate with anyone who works intensively with people. I shall undoubtedly be dipping in again and again for guidance on how best to navigate the plethora of interpersonal obstacles which crop up on a daily basis. Thank you Robert. This is long overdue.

Dr Caryn Soloman, Investec Bank

PART ONE

The Body of Evidence

Are You Sitting Comfortably?

Are you aware of the expression on your face right now? Are you aware of how you're sitting or standing, or who and what is around you?

Probably not until I asked the question and your brain went to do a little check, or you had a look round.

Most people are oblivious, most of the time, to what their body is doing.

If you are one of these people, you'll be unaware just how much your body tells others about you. About your moods, emotions and attitudes.

These body movements, signals and gestures are forms of non-verbal communication, or what we commonly refer to as body language'.

In business, being aware of and understanding this subject can dramatically change people's perceptions of you and consequently the results you achieve.

This book takes you through everyday business situations, pointing out what to observe, what to do with what you see, and how to turn it to your advantage.

I start right at the beginning with what body language is, and then take you through greetings, meetings, presenting, selling, negotiating, managing, leading and all the other key areas you need to understand in your business to make the best decisions and be successful.

Over the course of this book, I'll cover all of the situations and common behaviours, just as you would encounter them in your business and your personal life. By the end, you'll be an expert at interpreting what body language means in different situations, and you'll have a range of techniques and approaches to deal with people depending on the signals you see them exhibiting.

Body Language and the Unconscious

Body language is ubiquitous and affects us all through our interactions with family, friends, colleagues, shop and restaurant staff, and government officials like police and traffic wardens. They all send us silent messages that tell us things about them, their job and how they feel.

I'm sure you can remember characteristics about certain people you've come into contact with throughout your life: a particular teacher who had a funny walk when you were knee high to a grasshopper; a friend who always had their hands tucked up their sleeves when you were a teenager; or that bloody woman who kept clicking her pen at a meeting and annoying the hell out of you as you were trying to speak.

Whether we like it or not, we all react to these non-verbal messages. Sometimes we think about them consciously, other times we don't. And just because we aren't consciously aware of them doesn't mean that they don't have an effect on us!

Think for a moment about power and status. You walk in to just about any foreign embassy anywhere in the world (if you've not been in one then I'm sure you've seen them in films or on TV). What are you immediately greeted with? Usually the first things you see are the flags. At least one huge flag, if not several, right smack bang in front of you as you enter the building, and then dozens of others of varying sizes dotted around the place. Often you'll see the country's emblem on pictures of beautiful places. You'll see people in smart military uniforms or other security staff.

Then there's other things like security gates, car parking spaces marked for Visitors', others marked out especially for the important people who work in the building who may have their own names, initials or titles painted on their space, or, if they're really going for it, their own little etched plastic sign.