Judi James - The Body Language Bible: The hidden meaning behind peoples gestures and expressions

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Published in 2008 by Vermilion, an imprint of Ebury Publishing

A Random House Group Company

Copyright Judi James 2008

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The information in this book has been compiled by way of general guidance in relation to the specific subject of body language. It is not a substitute and should not be relied on for professional advice. So far as the author is aware the information given is up to date as at March 2008. Practice, laws and regulations change, however, and the reader should obtain up to date professional advice on any such issues. The author and publishers disclaim, as far as the laws allow, any liability arising directly or indirectly from the use or misuse of the information contained in this book.

Judi James is a leading television expert in body language, social behaviour, image, workplace culture and communication skills and has her own Channel Five series, Naked Celebrity. Judi also appears regularly on Big Brother on the Couch, The Paul OGrady Show, The Xtra Factor, Newsnight and Sky News.

Judi started her career as a leading catwalk model and trained many big names at her modelling school in Chelsea, including Naomi Campbell. She has had six novels published, including the bestseller Supermodel, and has written ten non-fiction books. Judi also writes regular weekly columns for You magazine and has a celebrity problem page in Zest.

We need someone like Judi to slash through the spin and show us what the stars really mean Daily Mail

Top image consultant and body language guru Elle

Britains top body language expert Sunday People

Body language is the most fluent, lyrical, revealing and significant form of communication. As an off-shoot of the psychology of human behaviour it is intriguing, exciting, fascinating and fun and yet ultimately frustrating. As a communication skill your body language accounts for over 50 per cent of the perceived impact of all your face-to-face messages and so you underestimate its power and influence at your peril. By creating and defining your own body language and therefore your own image you will avoid allowing others to perceive you in a way that will have more to do with assumption and misunderstanding than real skills and abilities. However body language is also a much misunderstood subject and a lot of the current advice on the subject is drivel. By using terms like body language tells and analysing gestures in a simplistic, comic-book style along the lines of scratching your nose means youre lying, many psychologists, TV magicians and experts have done a lot to mislead the public, therefore damaging what should be primarily an instinctive, sometimes random but nevertheless revealing process.

Do you believe that crossing your arms means youre defensive? Or that someone stroking their hair must be flirting with you? Then youve been reading the wrong books, because the fact is that body language is not a precise science. Tempting though it is to claim otherwise, any one gesture can be interpreted in several different ways, just as words can have several meanings. Crossing your arms could mean you feel anxious or angry or simply that the rooms too cold. Arm-folding can be performed to signal displeasure or cut-off but it is also whats called a discovered action, something we do just because it feels comfortable. Nose-touching could show youre covering your mouth to conceal a lie, but it could just as easily mean youve got an itchy nose. Some gestures are inborn, meaning you do them out of instinct and have very little control over them.

To understand words we have to place them into the context of a sentence, and its just the same with body language gestures, except the sentence is formed by all your other movements and signals. This is why I wrote this book. When Im training or speaking at conferences one of the most frequently asked questions is what one gesture or another means, as though my studies and experience have endowed me with an almost mystical ability to read peoples minds by a single movement or roll of the eyes. Easy and tempting though it would be to go along with this misconception, I have to admit that its just not that simple. So here are the facts:

• Your own body language signals release thousands of subtle and subconscious signals about you as you speak.
• Your signals can be responsible for success or failure at any stage of your career, social or sex life.
• You are probably unaware of most of your signals.
• Your body language messages are seen by others as a more honest and reliable expression of your thoughts and feelings than your words. When your words are at odds with your gestures its your gestures that will be seen as the truth.
• By learning about your own signals and then working to improve them you will enhance your effect and image.
• By studying others body language signals and increasing your visual perceptions you will find it easier to understand the emotions and thoughts behind their words.
• Look for clues or what are called cues, not tells. This means taking each movement and gesture and then evaluating it in the context of other movements, not isolating them in a one size fits all way.
• By reading other people you will enhance your understanding of them, getting 100 per cent more value out of all your face-to-face communications.
• The good news is that were all experts on body language. You read it all the time and you have done since you were 15 minutes old. By spending some time studying or even rediscovering this very basic of human skills youll be tapping into what was always intended to be an essential part of our social evolution.

I spend a vast part of my career making body language more accessible and even fun, and I love applying it to politicians, royals, celebrities and of course