Aguilar - Becoming fearless: my ongoing journey of learning to trust God

What people are saying about

Becoming Fearless

I knew from the moment I met Michelle that it was going to be very easy to love her. What I didnt know then was how profoundly moved I would be by her journey, her courage, and her love for the Lord. I believe you will be too!

Sheila Walsh, author of The Shelter of Gods Promises

Michelle Aguilars journey is one of faith, endurance, and transformation. If you need both motivation and inspiration to get your life moving forward, you will find it in the powerful story of overcoming lifes most difficult challenges and discovering Gods best.

Jack Graham, pastor of Prestonwood Baptist Church

As a Biggest Loser sister and a sister in the faith, I know Michelles experience in facing her fears and trusting God for a deeper relationship is authentic. Becoming Fearless beautifully illustrates her journey in a tangible, easy-to-relate-to way. Through her honesty and inner evaluation, she echoes the sentiments in so many of our hearts and encourages us all to sacrifice in order to achieve our goals. If you are looking for motivation to accomplish your wildest dreams, Michelles book may be exactly what you need!

Julie Hadden, speaker, author of Fat Chance, and runner-up on season four of The Biggest Loser

BECOMING FEARLESS

Published by David C Cook

4050 Lee Vance View

Colorado Springs, CO 80918 U.S.A.

David C Cook Distribution Canada

55 Woodslee Avenue, Paris, Ontario, Canada N3L 3E5

David C Cook U.K., Kingsway Communications

Eastbourne, East Sussex BN23 6NT, England

The graphic circle C logo is a registered trademark of David C Cook.

All rights reserved. Except for brief excerpts for review purposes,

no part of this book may be reproduced or used in any form

without written permission from the publisher.

The Biggest Loser is not associated with this book or any of the views or information contained in this book.

The website addresses recommended throughout this book are offered as a resource to you. These websites are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement on the part of David C Cook, nor do we vouch for their content.

See Bible-resource credits at the back of this book.

The author has added italics to Scripture quotations for emphasis.

LCCN 2011933498

ISBN 978-1-4347-0327-9

eISBN 978-0-7814-0773-1

2011 Michelle Aguilar

The Team: Alex Field, Susan Tjaden, Nick Lee, Renada Arens, and Karen Athen

Cover Design: Amy Konyndyk

Cover Photo: David Edmonson

Family photos courtesy of Michelle Aguilar and the Aguilar family.

First Edition 2011

For my family and friends
Thank you for your love and support.

Its my prayer that you always seek Christ first in all you do.

Proverbs 3:56

Contents

Photo Album

Acknowledgments

Writing a book is not a solo effort, and there are a number of people to whom I am indebted.

First, my parents: I am equally one half of each of you and cannot imagine being born into any other family. Dad, your constant love, support, and strength have allowed me the foundation to search for answers to all my questions. Thank you for never letting me give up or stop trying when you could see that I was so close to a breakthrough in my life. I am forever grateful for all the lessons you have taught me. Mom, our relationship has been quite a journey to get us to this place today; with all the ups and downs, I want you to know that I love you right where you are. God truly works in mysterious ways, and it has never been truer than during the last three years.

My brothers and sisters: Joseph, Drea, IAM, and Mia, I know we are affectionately referred to as the fab five, but its the four of you who have touched my heart so deeply. Your encouragement over our lifetimes has made such an impact, and its created an unbreakable bond. Thank you for helping me keep this crazy life in perspective.

My agent: Lacy Lynch, thank you for being so patient as I learned this whole new world. I am so blessed to have our lives come full circle, and working together has been a true gift. Many thanks also to Jan Miller and Shannon Marven, CEO and VP of Dupree/Miller and Associates literary agency, for taking me on and laying the groundwork. You believed in the project.

My editor: Susan Tjaden, I dont know anyone who would want to be edited, but you have made it such a gentle process, and your encouragement has made all the difference. My cowriters: Sandy Bloomfield, your early dedication to this process was the perfect jumpstart. Thank you for catching the vision. And Amber England, who would have ever thought that all those coincidences would come in so handy? I cannot imagine a better way to get to the end of things. Its who you are when no ones looking that I admire most.

Pastor Jack Graham: I am honored to have had your support and belief that my story needed to be told, but thankful that it was not just lip service. Your effort to set all the wheels in motion is the marked difference in this book making it to the shelves.

My Biggest Loser trainer and friend: Jillian Michaels, its said that people will forget what you say and what you do, but they will never forget the way you made them feel. While I have learned a lifetimes worth of lessons from you, its the way you made me feel that will always have a special place in my heart.

Last but not least, my best friend and husband: Micah, your patience and kindness throughout this process has given us a stronger foundation, and I only love you more.

I know Im filled to be emptied again, so God, the seed Ive received from You I now sow.

Michelle

Notes

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Foreword

When you think of John Wayne, surely a few things come to mind: American icon, True Grit, strength, and power. Well, when I arrived in Dallas/Fort Worth in the spring of 2008 to inform a mother and daughter they would be leaving the great state of Texas to join me on the campus of The Biggest Loser for an opportunity to change their lives, I wasnt expecting to find the female version of John Wayne. But thats exactly what I found the moment I met Michelle. She was full of spunk, to be sure, and proudly boasted a brave and beautiful smilea smile that I would soon discover allowed Michelle to play the role of John Wayne to her entire family. But a smile that also served to hide Michelles deepest fears and most gut-wrenching pain.

By season six of Biggest Loser, in which I and the rest of America would eventually grow to love Michelle Aguilar, I was less than optimistic about the intentions of the contestants who came to campus to change their lives, and my approach was probably, in no stretch of the imagination, tough love at its most brutal. So you can imagine the first conversation I had with Michelle wasnt exactly warm and fuzzy. It went something like this: Im not here to save your life. You have to do that yourself. Im not here to be your friend.

Michelle responded with a straight face that didnt flinch. Thats fineI dont need any more friends. Talk about true grit!

There was something about this woman that spoke to me. I knew that behind the John Wayne persona she had assumed back home, she was hiding a fierce inner struggle to find her own voice.

I was right.

The moment Michelle stepped foot onto campus and away from the comfort zone of being all things to all people back home, she began to allow herself to feel the pain of her pastthe pain that led her to the place in her life where she was estranged from her mother and weighed a very unhealthy 242 pounds. The rough-and-tumble exterior quickly turned into a puddle of needinessthe very picture of anything but John Wayne. By week five, she was convinced she was ready to quit. As you may know, usually when someone Im working with wants to walk out on their health, I let them. But with Michelle it was always different. I had asked her early on in a workout how bad she wanted to be on campus changing her life, and she answered without hesitation, I want it bad! And I believed her. So when she threatened to leave, I knew the pain she was feeling was workingand so I made a pact with Michelle: I would provide a safe environment for her breakdown, and she would lean into it.