Fuller John - First time dad: the stuff you really need to know

Praise for First-Time Dad

First-Time Dad serves up first-rate advice.

J IM D ALY , president and CEO, Focus on the Family, and author of Stronger

More than thirty years ago I became a father, but Ill admit I was terrified about how to be a good dad to my little girl. My childhood was full of pain, and I had an acute sense of my own severe shortcomings and unpreparedness to be a father. If thats your story, too, youll benefit from this great book. First-Time Dad is an easy read, full of practical advice, and I highly recommend it for new fathers.

J OSH M C D OWELL , speaker and author of The Father Connection

I cant think of a better resource for new fathers than John Fullers excellent new book, First-Time Dad. I write as one who has seen firsthand what happens when Dad isnt there. Its the lack of a male role model that has caused hundreds of thousands of young Americans to turn to the gangs and then end up in prison. Im grateful to my friend John for producing such a tremendous resource.

C HUCK C OLSON , founder, Prison Fellowship and The Colson Center for Christian Worldview

Along with the diaper bag this book needs to put in the hands of every new dad. Through Johns insight and experience he has managed to capture the seriousness and humor of being a dad and provide a biblical, heartfelt, and practical resource that will help serve to navigate the waters of fatherhood.

P HIL J OEL , Christian recording artist and father of two

I remember leaving the hospital with our new babyI desperately wanted them to give me an instruction manual that dayand while its a little late for us, youre holding a must-read, practical, encouraging, biblical, humorous book if youre about to become a First-Time Dad!

J OHN T RENT , PhD, president, StrongFamilies.com and coauthor of The Blessing

When John Fuller speaks, I listen. In First-Time Dad, he speaks candidly with authority, focus, and direction. This is more than just another good book on being a dad; this should be required reading for every dad.

D R . D ENNIS R AINEY , host, FamilyLife Today

A child can throw a major league curveball on a mans life and his marriage. In First-Time Dad, John helps a new daddy understand what an awesome privilege it is to be a dad. Any new dad will feel encouraged, gain insight, and find great help, as they begin that wonderful, exciting journey of being a new dad!

D R . K EVIN L EMAN , psychologist and author of Have a New Kid by Friday

Here are real-world tips from a six-time dad and a master communicator. Fun, memorable, useful. Guys, buy this book if you want to learn how to be more than merely the masculine parental unititll teach you how to be what youve always wanted to bean awesome Dad!

F RANK P ASTORE , talk show host, author of Shattered

Johns the kind of dad who is always intentionally thinking about how to invest in the lives of his kids to make them better. First-Time Dad will help fathers understand what to expect when kids enter the family, how to continue loving their wives in the context of the family, and ultimately how to be a dad kids will look up to and respect. Thanks, John. We need this book!

A NDY B RANER , international speaker, author, and full-time dad

In First-Time Dad, Johns experience as a loving father of six will replace fear and trembling with hope and excitement for every dad who is wondering what he has gotten himself into. Tackling everything from looking after your new infant to impacting your teen, Johns wise and thoughtful approach gives first-time dadsand every dada wide assortment of practical ideas for interacting with their kids, building lasting relationships, and making memories that they and their kids will treasure forever.

T ODD C ARTMELL , child psychologist and author of Project Dad

the stuff you really need to know

first-time
dad

JOHN FULLER
Cohost of the Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast
WITH PAUL BATURA

M OODY P UBLISHERS
CHICAGO

2011 by
J OHN F ULLER

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible: New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked ESV are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Websites and phone numbers listed herein are accurate at the time of publication, but may change in the future or cease to exist. The listing of website references and resources does not imply publisher endorsement of the sites contents. Groups, corporations, and organizations are listed for informational purposes, and listing does not imply publisher endorsement of their activities.

Edited by Andy Scheer
Interior design: Ragont Design
Cover design: Faceout Studios
Cover image: RF Shutterstock #27851134 and #49975618
Author Photo: Patti Watkins/Inspired Studios Photography

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Fuller, John
First-time dad: the stuff you really need to know / John Fuller, with Paul Batura.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-0-8024-8750-6
1. Fatherhood. 2. FatherhoodReligious aspectsChristianity.
I. Batura, Paul J. II. Title.
HQ756.F85 2011
306.8742dc22

2011001271

We hope you enjoy this book from Moody Publishers. Our goal is to provide high-quality, thought-provoking books and products that connect truth to your real needs and challenges. For more information on other books and products written and produced from a biblical perspective, go to www.moodypublishers.com or write to:

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Chicago, IL 60610

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Printed in the United States of America

This book is dedicated to Thomas L. Fuller, for modeling
in word and deed how to be a good dad; to my six children,
for the awesome privilege of being your dadand the
wonderful laughter we enjoy along the way; to my beloved
wife, Dena, for your heart of gold, constant encouragement,
faithfulness as a mom and wife, and patient love.

I am giddy; expectation whirls me round.
W ILLIAM S HAKESPEARE

FROM THE MOMENT you learned about the pregnancy (or that you were going to adopt), youve been anticipating that little one. This chapter will help you deal with your fears and expectations about your coming years as a dadand offer practical suggestions for managing the many changes headed your way.

O n a recent Saturday morning, I found myself facing a tedious chore. After too many years, it was time to weed out the files in our home office. Im not sure what I expected to find, but in a matter of minutes, I found myself awash in wonderful memories.

My wife, Dena, had saved physician records going back twenty years, and am I glad she did. The documents tracked our struggle to become parents and recorded her numerous visits, early in our marriage, with the obstetrician-gynecologist. We were anxious to have kids, but conception eluded us time and again.

Our season of infertility spanned nearly two years. Thats relatively brief compared to the anguish many couples face when trying to conceive, but it was still a painful season for us. At the time, it consumed us. But now, two decades and six children later, I realized how the years had softened the memories of that emotional time. I had forgotten the difficulties and disappointments, the months of tears and sorrow as we faced another door closing on our hopes to become parents.