Kristy Turner - But my family would never eat vegan! [eBook - NC Digital Library]: 125 recipes to win everyone over

KRISTY TURNER is the writer, recipe developer, and food stylist behind the vegan food blog Keepin It Kind and the author of But I Could Never Go Vegan! Once a professional fromagier and mutterer of the words, I could never be vegan, Kristy, a stepmom to two teenagers, now loves her compassionate lifestyle and works with her husband, photographer CHRIS MILLER, to make veganism accessible, fun, and delicious for everyone.

BUT MY FAMILY WOULD NEVER EAT VEGAN!

125 RECIPES TO WIN EVERYONE OVER

KRISTY TURNER

PHOTOGRAPHS BY CHRIS MILLER

For my mother, Shirley Turner, who gave me my earliest memory in the kitchen: standing on a step stool, licking the chocolate cake batter off a mixing spoon

and

For my father, Donald Turner, who cooked all the other meals in our house that werent chocolate cake (except when he made the chocolate cake, too)

S o youre at the dinner table with your spouse, kids, and all of your extended family. The platter of turkey comes around to you and you decline. Silence falls over the table. People notice that the only things on your plate are the salad and roasted brussels sprouts. Finally Uncle John breaks the silence: Whats the matter? Why arent ya goin to eat the bird? We got some of the white meat that you like!

You mumble, Im trying to be vegan.

You can see your aunts whispering to each other. A baby starts to cry. Your father shakes his head.

Well, how are you going to get your protein? Youre going to waste away if you just eat what you have there on your plate! Uncle David chimes in.

Do you not like my cooking anymore? I thought you liked my turkey? Grandma asks.

Maybe youd like some ham? your mother suggests, while beckoning to your brother to pass the ham.

Well, that leaves more for me! Uncle John jokes. He grabs a turkey leg and takes a big bite. Mmmmmmm! This is so good! Gramma, this is your best turkey yet! Mmmmmmm. You dont know what youre missin! Several people (including your kids) laugh. A couple of your cousins join in.

I guess you cant have these buttermilk biscuits either! Or this bacon gravy! MmmmmmMMMM! one says. Another waves his forkful of mac and cheese in front of your face before taking a big, dramatic bite. Mmmmmmso good! More laughter. You notice that your spouse is avoiding eye contact while taking a bite of ham.

Your cousin Beth leans over to tell you that she only eats local, humanely raised, antibiotic-free, GMO-free meat. And she tries not to eat dairy but she just cant give up cheese. But I dont like to make a scene so I just eat whatevers being served at family events. You wish she could be more obvious with her opinions.

You can feel all the blood rushing to your head and you want to tell them how unhealthy meat is and how badly animals are treated on factory farms, and speaking of which, those massive farms are destroying our planet... but that response will only provoke them and draw more attention to you. You want to leave the table, but know youll be teased about that forever. You want to scream, Im not saying anything about what you choose to eat, so just shut up! but that will just make them angry. You wish you could think of some clever remark, but unfortunately youre not good under pressure. (You know youll think of the perfect comeback later during the drive home.) Maybe you should just eat the turkey and get everyone to leave you alone. What do you do?

If youve ever toyed with the idea of giving up animal products, then its likely that youve thought about the social implications of that choice: Will my friends still want to hang out with me? What do I order at restaurants? And probably the biggest question: What will my family think?

Most of us spend a lot of time eating with our families, be it with our significant other and/or children, our parents and siblings, our extended families, even our in-laws. A lot of traditions are built on the meals that we share with our loved ones, and people can get emotional about these traditions. When you mess with traditions, people are bound to have a reaction, and oftentimes that reaction is not positive. If you choose to follow a plant-based diet and no longer eat the traditional meals, or serve up something different for dinner, its understandable that your family will have some feelings about it. Your spouse is going to be a little upset that youre no longer cooking their favorite steak dinner. Its hard enough getting your kids to eat vegetableshow are you supposed to take away the meat and cheese (the only thing you can get them to eat!)? Your grandmas feeling are going to be hurt when you no longer want to eat that dairy-laden sweet potato casserole shes made just for you every year. Everyone is going to have questions. And the rest of those jokesters you call family are going to turn your environmental/ethical/health choice into the butt of their jokes for years to come. Its a pretty overwhelming situation to face.

My husband, Chris, and I went vegan in September, just before all of the fun family holidays with food-related get-togethers. Come Thanksgiving of that year, we were still trying to find our bearings as vegans. I was still feeling my way around my new vegan kitchen, and every meal required following a recipe. The thought of doing Thanksgiving while still unsure in my own cooking and having to prepare and bring all of our own food, dealing with many peoples questions and jokes, and having to explain ourselves over and over again was giving me terrifying stress nightmares. Combined with the fact that I actually had to work on the day after Thanksgiving, we opted to stay home and practice our holiday cooking by ourselves.

By Christmas, we were more prepared emotionally. Our families were more prepared as well. Theyd already heard the news by then and planned accordingly... sort of. My husbands family called to check ingredients with us so they could make vegan mashed potatoes. I brought food that they ate and enjoyed. They asked questions about veganism so they could understand it better. We had conversations about our choice to live a vegan lifestyle and nobody felt threatened. I think there may have been one joke from my father-in-law, but considering the situation, that was pretty good.

Now, I love my own family to death, but I think the only preparation they did was to look up the definition of veganism (and judging by the questions we got, even thats iffy). We only had one family member who would try our foodmostly we got a lot of scrunched-up noses and behavior similar to what you would find in people trying to avoid the plague. There were jokes. There were snide remarks. There was eye rolling. Feeling defensive, I may have gotten heated (and, if Im being honest, probably a little preachy) a couple of times trying to explain why we were vegan. We had to warm our food after everyone else was done in the kitchen, and by the time we got to sit down, almost everyone was done with their meal.