Bert Fulks - X-Plan Parenting: Become Your Childs Ally―A Guide to Raising Strong Kids in a Challenging World

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Advance Praise for X-Plan Parenting

This is so much more than a plan.... This book is relevant to all of us, wherever we are on our journeys, and invites us to trust we are not alone, to trust in Gods grace, and to trust above all that we are loved, just as we are.

Reverend Jacquelin E. Compton, pastor, Central Christian Church (Disciples of Christ)

A book that parents of every faith can use. In this new era of pervasive social media and instant information, X-Plan Parenting integrates ages-old wisdom with fresh insights to help us guide our kids on their life journeys to become strong and responsible adults... who can still love and respect good ole Mom and Dad for their efforts.

Darrell Fetty, Emmy-nominated, award-winning producer, writer, actor... and parent

Fulkss X-Plan Parenting presents specific strategies and real-life situations for those looking for wisdom, strength, and the faith to face those challenges head on. This book is engaging, authentic, transparent, and beautifully written and is certain to boost the confidence of any parent.

David Hermon, PhD, LPC, professor, College of Education and Professional Development, Marshall University

A Christ-centered guide bursting with humor, refreshing honesty, and wisdom. Using his own missteps as cautionary tales, Fulks reminds readers that conscientious parenting requires self-awareness, humility, and the flexibility to course correct.

Marie Manilla, award-winning author of Shrapnel and The Patron Saint of Ugly

X-Plan Parenting focuses as much, if not more, on what to do about ourselves as human beings as it does on what to do about the kids we parent.

Reverend Joseph Bruce Allen Hill, district superintendent, United Methodist Church, former director of Christian Education and senior pastor

With grace and wisdom, Fulks reminds us that the life they [your children] are meant to lead may not be what you have in mind.

Mary Calhoun Brown, author of There Are No Words , winner of eleven literary awards

Bert Fulks is a storyteller who uses honesty and vulnerability to help guide parents to cultivate their own childs God-given authentic self.... Parenting is a joint venture between parent, child, and God, and with his book, the reader is left feeling hopeful that his wisdom and encouragement can be incorporated in their own X-Plan venture.

Margaret Dempsey, PhD, licensed psychologist

Bert Fulkss book explores the intense and often complex relationship that adults have with children and the importance of raising them to be open, self-reliant, and successful.

Eliot Parker, author and West Virginia Literary Merit Award winner

Howard Books

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Copyright 2019 by Bert Fulks

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Howard Books Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

First Howard Books trade paperback edition June 2019

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Interior design by Davina Mock-Maniscalco

Cover photograph Shutterstock

Author photograph Laura Fulks

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018048026

ISBN 978-1-9821-1201-1

ISBN 978-1-9821-1202-8 (ebook)

For my parents and my kidsIm grateful for the journey. All of it.

H ome for lunch, my wife, Laura, was about to head back to work.

Babe, will you give this a quick read?

I handed her an article Id just finished. She proofs everything I write. I trust her judgment and keen eye, but many of my topics are personal and gritty, so I need her permission to put our lives on display. Shes never said, No, dont publish this, but I still ask. Almost three decades of marriage have taught me a few things.

Laura read X-Plan: Giving Your Kids a Way Out , a short piece about giving teens an escape from rough situations using a simple text message. Its a plan we developed for our younger son, Danny.

Its good, Laura said as she handed me the pages, but if you submit this, wont it screw it up for Danny when people read it?

I laughed. About twenty years prior, Id left my teaching job to be a stay-at-home dad and write full-time. My brother had scoffed: I give it six months, and the only thing youll be writing is a suicide note. In some ways, he was right. My fledgling writing career was lost to my real full-time job: raising kids. As they became older, I eventually returned to the keyboard. My readership had grown over time, but remained just a sarcastic smidge below best seller status.

HoneyI flipped my X-Plan article in the airnobodys going to read this.

We now laugh about that.

Technology glitch , I thought at first. My blogs stats were screwed upthey had to be! Within twenty-four hours of my publishing the X-Plan, traffic exploded from thousands of readers to millions. It wasnt until I started receiving phone calls, emails, and private messages from total strangers that the reality hit methis thing was everywhere.

Theyre talking about your article on K-LOVE , a friend texted me.

Much like parenting, sometimes Gods blessings feel like more than we can handle. In truth, I wasnt prepared for the popularity of that piece. God apparently had more faith in me than I deserved.

Friends, I have a confession: just one week before, I was ready to quit writing.

Id been to a Colorado retreat for a week of prayer, and I was struggling. Walking along a hardpack road, the gravel crunching beneath my boots and wind hissing through the aspens, I was pushing in on God with an all-too-familiar question: Where are you leading me? I felt a change on the horizon, but I was adrift and unclear about direction. Its hard to navigate when you dont know the destination.

Writing had delivered some success, but it wasnt paying any bills. Plus, wed just survived a cancer scare that felt like a wake-up call. (What would become of us if anything happened to Laura?) Id been considering going back to school and finishing my masters degree in counseling. Our hometown was crying out in need, and I suspected God was calling me into that arena. The drug epidemic had become a hurricane with no eye, and I was surrounded by its destructive force. I missed a friends funeral because of my Colorado trip. He had gotten himself clean, remarried, landed a good job, was walking with God... but one slipup killed him. That hit me hard, because if this guy couldnt make it, who could?