Falk - Being the other woman: the complete handbook for the woman in love with a married man

The completehandbook for the woman in love with a married man

Copyright,Legal Notice and Disclaimer:

Thispublication is protected under the US Copyright Act of 1976 and allother applicable international, federal, state and local laws.

Copyright (c)2009 Petra Falk. All rights reserved

worldwide.

Copyright CoverIllustration (c) 2009 Janosch Jauch. All rights reserved

The right ofPetra Falk to be identified as the Author of this book has beenasserted by her in accordance to international law.

First publishedas a paperback in the USA in April 2009

This ebook islicensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not bere-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to sharethis book with another person, please purchase an additional copyfor each person you share it with. If you're reading this book anddid not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only,then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your owncopy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Apart from anyuse permitted under copyright laws, this publication may only bereproduced, stored, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means,with prior permission in writing of the author or, in the case ofreprographic production, in accordance with the terms of licencesissued by the copyright authorities.

www.petra-falk.com

petra@petra-falk.com

....Carl, whodied April 2007 - You were "The One"

....mywonderful ex-husband - so sorry I could not be the perfect wife foryou

.... Michele -Poiche tu sei chi sei tu.

Je Ne RegretteRien

Much

can be inferredabout a man

from hismistress: In her one beholds his weaknesses and his dreams.

Georg C.Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799)

Thank You toall the people who have helped me make this book happen!

My dear,patient and almost always supportive friends, who have stood by methrough both the writing of this book and also throughout the timeswhen I needed them to tell me that everything would be ok (whetherany of us actually believed it or not), to listen to me (whetherthey particularly agreed with what they were hearing or not) and tojust be there for me, almost without fail and, no doubt, at timeswith gritted teeth.

Friends likethat are vital for everyone, but especially so for a woman writinga book, or having an affair. And most definitely so for a womaninsane enough to end up being engaged in both these pursuits at thesame time!

I wouldparticularly like to single out the very people without whom thiswhole project would have been doomed from the start: First andforemost the unnamed husbands, wives and mistresses who weregenerous enough to tell me about their or their husbands' affairsso honestly and candidly. It can't always have been easy for themto admit to certain aspects, or to relive painful periods in theirlives. Their contribution to this book was immeasurable and Iappreciate their help more than I can say.

Also a great"Thanks" to my friend Jochen, who was so often used as a soundingboard on "the male perspective," and who is always there for me(sooner or later, punctuality not being his most outstandingvirtue) even though the whole subject of this book does not sitcomfortably with his attitude and moral standards at all.

Frankly oftenthe friends who disagree with what you are doing and still firmlystand by you are the most valuable friends.

Two wonderfulgenerous ladies agreed to do the final editing and did a brilliantjob: gently breaking the news to me that "No" - the book was notquite "ready to go" and that I had to grit my teeth and do somemore work. Thank You Kristina Lorusso and Rebecca Carlson, withoutyour work and encouragement I really might have chucked it all injust before reaching the finishing line. You're both awesome.Kristina deserves most of the credit for the historicalsection.

As a historygraduate she was ready to forgive anything, but not historicalinaccuracies!

And - to finishthe acknowledgments - Michele, you didn't even know I was writingthis book, or rather, you knew I was writing one but not what itwas about. You may never know how much your presence in my life hasinfluenced it. Poiche tu sei chi sei tu - "Because you are who youare" - indeed.

Almost half ofall married men, and slightly fewer married women, admit to havinghad at least one affair. Amongst those in long term relationshipsthe percentage of those who admit to having strayed at least onceis even higher. As this tends not to be something that is toocheerfully admitted to I suspect the real figure may scare the mosthardened realist.

I have oftenheard an "Other Woman" say "But I don't know anyone else who hasdone this, no-one in my family has, and none of my friends haveeither." Well, they are very much mistaken. Chances are they knowplenty of people who have had, and quite a few who are having, anaffair. It's just not something people tell everyone aroundthem.

If thestatistics are even remotely accurate we can look at any group ofwomen, anywhere (with the possible exception of a monastery), androughly a third of them will have had an affair with a married manat some stage in the lives.

Scary, isn'tit? And, at the same time, somewhat reassuring, because howeveralone we may feel at times with our situation, we are, in fact, notalone at all. We are many. Many more than society as a whole wishesto accept.

There are booksabout "how to be" just about everything under the sun, but for thewoman who more or less unexpectedly finds herself in the situationwhere she has assumed a role that is rarely spoken about in politecompany, there is little help except "Don't do it."

Now this is notparticularly helpful when one is in emotional turmoil becausethings have gone past the point where "Don't go there, it will endin tears, most likely yours" is of any help at all.

This book isnot intended to entice nice girls to don a short skirt, slap on themascara and go on the hunt for a defenseless married man to dragkicking and screaming back to her lair.

It isabsolutely not intended to be a "how to become a mistress" bookeither. Instead it is meant to be a book that will help those whoare already finding themselves in this situation to survive, whilstdoing the least harm to everyone involved, includingthemselves.

Those who mayexpect a step-by-step guide on "how to make one's lover leave hiswife" will be disappointed I'm afraid. If we have chosen the manwisely, and have conducted our affair with care, love, dignity andintelligence, the above may be the outcome.

I won't promisethat it will be in your case. It may be, but the statistics saythat the odds are not great.

What I canpromise you is the following:

If you havechosen wisely, and are taking at least some aspects of this book toheart, you will be better equipped to avoid "blowing it."

Title

-1- My story:How a nice girl turned mistress

-2- How to be"The perfect mistress" in 1 word or 5

-3- The 10Commandments for The Other Woman

-4- A list ofthings we should not say

-5- Facing thefacts and quitting the excuses

-6- Anatomy ofadultery

-7-Prerequisites for having a successful affair

-8- Why he ishaving an affair (with you)

-9- Types ofmen to avoid at all cost

-10- Notgetting caught

-11- Do noharm

-12- Looking atthe bright side

-13- Having "ahappy affair"

-14- TheWaiting Game

-15- Matters ofConscience and Guilt

-16- Sex

-17- This isnot a "normal relationship"

-18- Guard yourheart

-19- NoPromises / No Demands

-20- How toeffectively ruin your affair