Losier - Law of connection: the science of using NLP to create ideal personal and professional relationships

Copyright 2009 by Michael Losier

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Wellness Central

Hachette Book Group

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New York, NY 10017

Visit our website at www.HachetteBookGroup.com.

Wellness Central is an imprint of Grand Central Publishing. The Wellness Central name and logo is a trademark of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

First eBook Edition: June 2009

ISBN 978-0-446-55214-1

ALSO BY MICHAEL J. LOSIER

Law of Attraction

After the publication of my first book, Law of Attraction, I heard from thousands of people who told me how much it had helped them to identify and draw in more of what they truly wanted in their personal and business relationships.

But these people also wanted more. They wanted to know how they could better communicate with and feel understood by all the people they came in contact with, both personally and professionally. Thats what made me realize I had to write Law of Connection to give them the skills they needed to create rapport with all kinds of people on a daily basis.

Both Law of Attraction and Law of Connection are about mastering a few simple rules that will help you to lead a fuller, richer, more meaningful life. You dont need to have read one to benefit from the other. Each law stands on its own. And each offers its own rewards.

For all the years Ive been teaching the Law of Attraction, Ive incorporated the information youre about to learn into my training seminars, interviews, and coaching in order to connect with audiences, interviewers, reporters, talk-show hosts, and all the people I interact with every day.

One of the compliments I appreciate receiving the most is that I am able to make complicated ideas easy to learn. I owe that ability to my training in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and the use of Accelerate Learning Techniques (ALT). These techniques are designed to appeal to every communication style. For example:

• Some of you will enjoy the white space in the book, while others wont.
• Some of you will enjoy the illustrations, while others will not even notice them.
• Some of you will like the summaries or worksheets or the case studies.

Ive incorporated these techniques into this book so that everyone will be able to learn from it easily and enjoyably.

My intention is that most of you will refer to Law of Connection time and time again to remind yourselves of the words and scripts you can listen for or use to communicate better in all kinds of situations.

You might even catch yourself putting a little tab in YOUR communication style section for quick, easy reference.

I hope that you will enjoy this books simplicity, share it with your family, introduce it in your workplace, and discover how communication improves wherever you are.

Michael Losier

www.LawofConnectionBook.com

If not you, then someone you know probably spends a lot of time complaining about relationship conflicts. Were hearing it everywhere: at home, at work, and in our communities.

Conflict is everywhere, between:

Married couples

Dating couples

Parents and children

Teachers and students

Office workers

Management and staff

Business to business

This book will give you all the information and techniques you need to improve your communication and build better, healthier relationships.

Sometimes changing only a few words can make all the difference; sometimes its more than a few words. But whatever the nature of the negative or conflicted relationship, this book will help.

The process and techniques will seem simple, and you may catch yourself saying, It cant be this easy, or This is too simple to make a difference. If you find yourself thinking these thoughts, just remember, the results will speak for themselves.

Since 1999, I have been teaching couples, trainers, teachers, coaches, counselors, and all kinds of people in all kinds of relationships the key to successful communicationand now Ill be teaching it to you.

Have fun with the information. Watch and listen as your connections with others improve and conflict is eliminated.

This book can be read in a few hours or less. Before you do anything else, read it through from cover to cover so you get the big picture and a better understanding of the process.

Then read it again, this time completing the Communication Style Self-Assessment and the worksheets. Doing that will help you to understand and internalize the information as you begin to apply it to your everyday life.

Also, invite and encourage your family to complete the Communication Style Self-Assessment. You will see and hear how much fun it is to apply what you learn about each others communication style.

Make this book and material a family affair. Incorporate it at the workplace.

As you master the information, you will likely find yourself teaching others how they, too, can improve their communication skills and enhance their relationships.

Additional self-assessments and worksheets are available online at www.LawofConnectionBook.com.

Most people can recall a situation when they either were or were not connecting with another person.

The Law of Connection states that when two people are in rapport they will have a better connection.

The reason its called a law is because it follows one simple rule.

The Rule: The more rapport you have with somebody, the stronger your connection with that person. The less rapport you have with someone (or when the rapport is broken) the weaker your connection is with that person.

Your rapport, and therefore your connection, is the result of how you communicate.

This book will help you understand your communication style, its gifts, and its challenges. And, more important, it will help you to understand other peoples styles, their gifts, and their challenges, so that, through observation and practice, you become a more flexible communicator who can connect with people of all styles.

The key to connection is becoming a more flexible communicator. Flexibility is the requirement. If you go to France you will communicate better if you are able to speak French. Being flexible in your communication will help you connect with others quickly and easily.

THE 3 CONDITIONS
FOR CONNECTING

RAPPORT

How long to build it?

Sometimes seconds and sometimes years.

How long to maintain it?

With care and nurturing, forever.

How long to break it?

Only seconds.

How long to repair it?

Sometimes never.

Many of us can recall a time when we have met someone we instantly likedor someone we instantly disliked, despite having something in common with that person.