Rhodes - The Essential Guide to Caring for Aging Parents

T he ESS ential G uide T O

by Dr. Linda Rhodes

A member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

ALPHA BOOKS

Published by Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

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Copyright 2012 by Linda Rhodes, EdD

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the authors rights. Purchase only authorized editions. No patent liability is assumed with respect to the use of the information contained herein. Although every precaution has been taken in the preparation of this book, the publisher and author assume no responsibility for errors or omissions. Neither is any liability assumed for damages resulting from the use of information contained herein. For information, address Alpha Books, 800 East 96th Street, Indianapolis, IN 46240.

ISBN: 978-1-101-58578-8
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 2011945185

14 13 12 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Interpretation of the printing code: The rightmost number of the first series of numbers is the year of the books printing; the rightmost number of the second series of numbers is the number of the books printing. For example, a printing code of 12-1 shows that the first printing occurred in 2012.

Printed in the United States of America

Note: This publication contains the opinions and ideas of its author. It is intended to provide helpful and informative material on the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the author and publisher are not engaged in rendering professional services in the book. If the reader requires personal assistance or advice, a competent professional should be consulted.

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ALWAYS LEARNING

PEARSON

To my sister, Mary Joyce (Jodi) Gorman, my best friend and unwavering partner in caring for Mom and Dad.

Caregiving is saintly, but it shouldnt lead to martyrdom. Over the last 10 years, Ive received countless questions from readers of my newspaper column, Our Parents, Ourselves, on what to do and how to care for older parents. Some questions portray a family facing a crisis, while others grapple with elder care issues over the long haul. Whatever the question or the nature of their circumstance, families want quick, knowledgeable, common-sense answers that can help them do right by their loved ones.

But beyond answers on what to do, Ive come to appreciate the dynamics among family members as they care for their older loved ones. Some of the more frequent questions I receive focus on how to better communicate with siblings and parents, how to work through differences of opinion on whats best for Mom or Dad, and how to handle the stress of caregiving.

Ive written this book to address not only the what and how surrounding elder care, but also whats at the heart of the matter: families.

Families are the backbone of elder care; without them, millions of older relatives would age under dire and lonely circumstances. Yet families are stretched so thin today: they are juggling careers while caring for two and three generations, living long distance, coping with the challenges of blended families, and managing geriatric health-care demands they never imagined. It frays nerves and makes communicating wearing and reaching consensus daunting.

This book offers a unique blend of answers on the what and how of caregiving, along with tools and tips to help you solve problems, resolve differences, and bring organization and peace of mind to your caregiving.

Just remember to take care of yourself while you care for others. And thank you for trusting me to accompany you on your caregiving journey.

May you and those you love age well.

How to Use This Book

The book is written in five parts that walk you through various aspects of caregiving, each providing the essential tools and knowledge to confidently and compassionately care for your parents. What makes this book unique is my companion website to the book that hyperlinks the entire Resource Directory and caregiving videos, and provides caregiver forms and worksheets referenced in the book that you can share with family members and physicians. All are available for free on my website, at www.lindarhodescaregiving.com. Heres a quick rundown of each part:

, Problem Solving Amid Confusion, shows you how to observe and identify signs and symptoms in your parents, tells you what a geriatric assessment can do, and teaches you how to talk about health issues with your parent. Learn how to clearly define a problem, identify caregiving tasks, and get other family members to pitch in. Gain insights on your parents perspective and learn why you must take care of yourself.

, The Elder Care Landscape: Know More, Act Confidently, prepares you to scope out the best living options, learn how to access reports on their quality, track down public benefits and caregiving services, and get a heads-up on the basic legal questions every caregiver needs to know.