Rhodes - This is awkward: how lifes uncomfortable moments open the door to intimacy and connection

PRAISE FOR THIS IS AWKWARD

This Is Awkward reminds me that the grace of God goes far and deep, that His love does not leave us where it found us, and that there is freedom found just on the other side of facing up to our fear.

BOB GOFF, NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF LOVE DOES

Sammy Rhodes is funny, talented, and has an amazing story to tell.

JON ACUFF, NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF START AND DO OVER

Sammy Rhodes is an imaginative, thoughtful, substantive, and funny voice.... Few people out there can combine deep wisdom with thoughtful hilarity. Sammy Rhodes does.

RUSSELL D. MOORE, PRESIDENT OF THE ETHICS AND RELIGIOUS LIBERTY COMMISSION, SOUTHERN BAPTIST CONVENTION

With characteristic humor and endearing transparency, Sammy has helped me to feel less alone in the world. In this beautiful and courageous book, he revisits some of the most awkward and painful chapters of his own storybut without a shred of self-indulgence. Instead, his words are an invitation for fellow strugglers to find rest, hope, and even laughter in the awkwardness that is our lives. Do yourself a favor and read this book. It has the potential to change your life.

SCOTT SAULS, PASTOR AND AUTHOR OF JESUS OUTSIDE THE LINES: A WAY FORWARD FOR THOSE WHO ARE TIRED OF TAKING SIDES

Sammy Rhodess hilarious book will give a lot of Christians permission to talk a lot more frankly about the sometimes-funny, often-devastating ways we hurt ourselves and others. Even better, it gives us confidence that those things can open a door to knowing and sharing Gods love in ways we never thought possible.

WESLEY HILL, ASSISTANT PROFESSOR OF BIBLICAL STUDIES, TRINITY SCHOOL FOR MINISTRY, AMBRIDGE, PENNSYLVANIA

2016 by Samuel McBride Rhodes II

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Nelson Books, an imprint of Thomas Nelson. Nelson Books and Thomas Nelson are registered trademarks of HarperCollins Christian Publishing, Inc.

Published in association with the literary agency of Wolgemuth & Associates, Inc.

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Scripture quotations are taken from the ESV Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good New Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

ISBN 9780718034948 (eBook)

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Rhodes, Sammy, 1980

Title: This is awkward : how life's uncomfortable moments open the door to intimacy and connection / Sammy Rhodes.

Description: Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 2016. | Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2015021446 | ISBN 9780718034931

Subjects: LCSH: Interpersonal relations--Religious aspects--Christianity. |Introversion--Religious aspects--Christianity. | PersonalityReligious aspects--Christianity. | Emotions-
Religious aspects--Christianity. | Self-consciousness (Sensitivity) | Embarrassment.

Classification: LCC BV4597.52 .R46 2016 | DDC 248.4--dc23

LC record available at http://lccn.loc.gov/2015021446

16 17 18 19 20 RRD 6 5 4 3 2 1

To my wife, Alyssa. Thank you for seeing all of my awkward and loving me. Also, Im sorry about that time I cried and yelled at you for not reading my blogs.

CONTENTS

Vulnerability Is Hard, but Grace Is True, So Lets Make Some Awkward

I ve always considered myself an awkward person. I cant tell you the first time I had this realization. It probably was a social situation that involved small talk. If I could have any superpower, it would be the ability to do small talk well, because anyone who does it well is a superhero as far as Im concerned. Im more like the Aquaman of small talk: people dont remember much about me except that Im weird.

The feeling that I was awkward only increased when I got into ministry, a job that requires a good amount of social skills. When I first arrived at the University of South Carolina to take the position of RUF Campus Minister, the students in our ministry had two standing weekly traditions that made my awkwardness shine. One was called stump the chump, where a group of six to eight students would meet me for lunch on campus so they could ask any burning questions that they had.

The other was sand volleyball. The game is straightforward enough, except that youve never seen me play sand volleyball. John Updike wrote, Looking foolish does the spirit good. I think God gave us sand volleyball for that very reason. Some of us are less like Goose and Maverick in Top Gun and more like the guys in the control center we never got to see play sand volleyball because it would have been too painful to watch.

I learned a lot about my awkwardness that first year at the university. I also learned that its objectively weird to sit Indian style next to a sand volleyball court and just watch, especially when you have a mustache.

One of the perks of being awkward is that because people generally dont love being around you, you have plenty of time to think and write. This book is living proof. I hope that its proof, too, that our awkward moments matter.

I can think of so many reasons I shouldnt write this book, thoughsixteen to be exact:

1. Who am I to write a book? My experience consists almost entirely of writing things for the Internet: tweets, blog posts, and short articles. I feel like the e-cigarette version of a writer: not real and kind of annoying.

2. I was accused of plagiarism. An experiment in chasing Internet fame ended in conviction, a lifetime sentence of Internet infamy. What happens on the Internet stays on the Internet. A quick Google search of my name should do the trick if you dont know the story. Google at your own risk. Apparently there is a certain kind of celebrity who bears a similar name.

3. My family might disown me. Anne Lamott once wrote, You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they shouldve behaved better. I love my family and friends. I love my relationships with them. Weve all come a long way, and I wouldnt be the person I am apart from them. Also, some of them should have behaved better. Mainly me.

4. I dont want to stir up Twittergate 2.0. I hope that Ive learned from my mistakes. Ive owned as much as I can and reached out to make amends where I thought it would be appropriate. But I would love not to stir up anything again.

5. Im terrified of doing a book that is essentially a literary selfie. The goal is to share my story where I believe it will be helpful. I pray its not a bunch of narcissistic psychobabble.

6. Im terrified of doing a book that is frowned upon by my tribe. The people and leaders in my particular corner of the Christian faith all mean the world to me, and I want to write something that makes them proud. Im nervous this wont be the case.

7. I dont have a decent picture to go on the back of this book. No one tells you how weird it feels to ask a photographer to take your headshot. I completely understand the people who used to think that having your picture taken steals a little part of your soul. Maybe Ill just use the caricature I had drawn for twenty dollars in Myrtle Beach when I was in the seventh grade.

8. Im pretty awkward when signing autographs. Its happened a handful of times. Signing an autograph feels like using the bathroom at a football stadium: its uncomfortable, dirty, and you hope no one sees you. Also, what do you write? From now on Im just going to write, This is awkward, because I mean it and it fits.