Stephen Wildish - How to Adult: An Illustrated Guide

An illustrated guide Don t want to Need to Eat healthy Adult Leave home Stephen W ildish How to Adult Tol d to Clean

I cant eve n...

Who let me adult ? I cant adu lt.

Adulting ( verb ): T o do gr own-up things and hold responsibilities such as having a job, paying rent or doing laundr y. A verb used exclusively by those who adult less than 50 per cent of the time.

Contents

Introduction 1. W ork 3. W ork 3.

Social Media 4. Household T asks 5. Gr ooming 6. Conv ersa tions 8. Finances 9. F ood 10.

Drink Afterword

In troduction

How to Adult Introduction What does it mean to be an adult ? W hen are you an adult ? How can I adult ? How can I possibly get to the end of this page without checking social media? To be an adult, physically, is to be a person who is fully gr own or developed. T o be an adult socially is to be nancially self-reliant ( to have a job), to be inde pendent (to not live with your pare nts ) and responsible ( to be able to make sensible decisions ). Legally you are an adult at eighteen, but adulthood can be a state of mind. Ther e are kids out ther e running their own companies. They ar e adulting better than you.

Introduction Moved out of your paren ts house Have a job Respo nsible Big spen der Big lender Adult Big lodger

How to Adult Tee nage tak es longer To understand why some people cant adult anymor e, lets look at a brief history of teenage years: 1850s: Average life expectancy in 1850 was ar ound forty and childhood was short and sweet.

Becoming an adult quickly was essential to avoid an even earlier grave. 1950s: The birth of teenagers. After ve years of bebopping and skiing their greased-up mopeds, 1950s teenagers knew it was time to grow up. Now: We see the phenomenon of teenage years spreading out, with people in their late twenties who still have no idea what fabric conditioner is or how to adequately season a risotto. Flying into my thirties like ...

Childhood Tee nage Adulthood Introduction 1850s Death Birth 1950s Now

How to Adult Biggest lies we tell ourselves JUST ONE MORE EPISODE #1

Introduction JUST ONE MORE SLICE OF PIZZA #2 Biggest lies we tell ourselves

N Y How to Adult Can you adult today ? Meh Lets do this!

Yo u ve taken the rst step to adulting and you ve r ealised you dont know how to do anything useful.

Lets look at how r eal adults do their adulting: 1. Con trolling their emotions They have the ability to cope with tricky situations rationally and all without losing their shit. 2. Havin g goals They have aims in life that are mor e than merely achieving high scores on games and getting the squad together for bants . A key goal for adults is to simply remember their bag for life when they go shopping . 3.

Being assertive They nd solutions to problems even when they just want to sit in their pyjamas and watch daytime TV . 4. Making wise choices These could be important nancial decisions but could also be as simple as deciding to go to bed at a decent time. 5. Ke eping things tidy They do laundry , clean the house and keep their personal hygiene in a state that means their body doesn t r esemble an abandoned allotment. Introduction

How to Adult Hierar chy of adulting activities We will need to tak e baby steps if we are to succeed at adult ing.

After r eading this book you might not necessarily be able to do your unicorn onesie and emerge into the world in char ge of the Bank of E ngland, but here s hoping that you might be able to get out of bed and nally eat a salad. The pinnacle for an adult seems to be talking to other adults about the intricacies of tracker mortgages, the ins and outs of stamp duty charges, and many other unfathomable things. Yo u simple fool! Yo u don t know the dierence between your equity and your accrual, do you?

Introduction Getting out of bed Not eating pizza ev ery day Going to work Surv iving until payda y Ta lking about mortgages Mor e adult

How to Adult Wan ting to be a child When things get tough, most of us feel a desire for others to take char ge, to be dependent once again as we were in childhood. When we can no longer cope with the adult world, we often retr eat to our beds, lose control and thr ow our toys out of the pram. If it all goes wrong you could end up hiding in the shed for the afternoon or drinking gin through a straw . But if you want to achieve things, make things happen or make sense of the adult world then you will need to grow up.