Tobin - BEING AN ADULT: the ultimate guide to moving out, getting a job, and getting your act together

Being an Adult

Lucy Tobin is an award-winning journalist, specialising in business and personal finance at the Evening Standard . Shes also a regular in magazines and online media, including Cosmopolitan , Marie Claire , and the Huffington Post , writing on topics ranging from student life and uni to careers and parenting. Recently named Business Journalist of the Year at the Santander Media Awards, Lucy is the author of six books, including the Amazon-bestsellers A Guide to Uni Life and Entrepreneur . She can often be seen and heard commenting on news stories on TV (BBC Breakfast, News 24, Sky News) and radio (Radio 4s Broadcasting House and Womans Hour, LBC). Lucy graduated from Oxford University with a first-class degree in English in 2008.

Kat Poole is editor of Emerald Street , the daily womens lifestyle email magazine from Shortlist Media. She started her career at Stylist magazine, and has written for Empire , The Debrief , and Red , specialising in lifestyle, culture, and entertainment. Kat graduated from the University of Warwick with a first-class degree in Film and Literature in 2011.

Thank you to my parents for setting me on my own wobbly path to being an adult; to Howard for being the grown-up so I can sometimes be a kid; and to Jamie for making me laugh and love every single day. To Toby, who grew into a tiny person during the nine months it took for this project to come to life, this book is for you, with all my love.

Lucy

James, thank you for showing me that its far better to try than never to know. And for all the cups of tea.

Kat

Scribe Publications
1820 Edward St, Brunswick, Victoria 3056, Australia
2 John St, Clerkenwell, London, WC1N 2ES, United Kingdom

Published by Scribe 2018

Copyright Lucy Tobin and Kat Poole 2018

All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the publishers of this book.

Neither the publisher nor the authors are engaged in rendering professional advice or services to the individual reader. The ideas, procedures, and suggestions contained in this book are not intended as a substitute for consulting with your physician. All matters regarding your health require medical supervision. Neither the authors nor the publisher shall be liable or responsible for any loss or damage allegedly arising from any information or suggestion in this book.

The moral rights of the authors have been asserted.

At the time of writing, all quotations taken from web pages were accurate and all URLs linked to existing websites. The publisher is not responsible for and should not be deemed to endorse or recommend any website other than our own or any content available on the internet (including without limitation, any website, blog post, or information page) that is not created by the publisher.

9781911617327 (UK edition)
9781925693058 (e-book)

A CiP entry for this title is available from the British Library.

scribepublications.co.uk

Contents

Introduction

It wasnt just one moment that made us realise we had somehow crossed into territory known as being an adult: it crept up on us.

For most of her twenties, Lucy felt like she was still basically a kid playing at being a grown-up. Evidence: she didnt (and still doesnt) like hot drinks. (Nope, not tea, not coffee, though she can slurp a hot chocolate, if it has marshmallows on top.) She still buys childrens trainers (tax-free, a benefit of having size-tiny feet). She didnt go to the dentist from the age of 18, when her mum stopped making her, until the day when, aged 26, her face swelled up like an obese chipmunk due to a wisdom tooth infection and the choice was, go to the dentist, or spend the rest of her life in her bedroom.

See, she really wasnt an adult.

But then things started changing. She met a guy at a party who was a police inspector; then realised he was younger than her. She learned that one of her school friends was having a baby, ON PURPOSE.

She bought a pressure cooker and started talking, at length, about the crazy benefits of this new kitchen gadget. (A casserole ready in just 15 minutes? Youve got to get one!) She went to Homebase on a Saturday, spent a couple of happy hours perusing paint samples, and enjoyed it more than a night out.

Then there were the big milestones: getting married, applying to the bank for a mortgage. When a bank manager appears to believe youre mature enough to borrow what seems (especially when you ponder it sleeplessly at 3am) to be a gazillion pounds , even though your earnings were only 1.20 in pocket money until last week, thats seriously grown up.

For Kat, the realities of coping with adult life hit her when her dad became very ill, and suddenly becoming self-sufficient was her number one priority. She had graduated with one of those degrees with no obvious career path, and had planned to take her time working it all out (a.k.a. living at home and doing work experience for pennies). Instead, she decided to move to London (and was very lonely), get a job (that she hated), and navigate employment contracts and rental agreements and a life budget (a what?) because she was suddenly responsible for herself.

Then she quit that job at 24 and started all over again, with the Big Dream of breaking into journalism an industry where she knew no one, in which she wasnt very experienced, and with only a tiny pot of savings to see her through. She cracked it, and then had an actual CAREER to think of, and found herself negotiating her salary and managing a team.

Despite all that, shes still flummoxed in the face of a recipe involving more than three ingredients, and struggles to get up when her alarm goes off in the morning. (She had assumed Jumping Out of Bed was a reflex that would naturally kick in after the age of 21. It didnt.)

In both of our lives, etiquette issues kept coming up what are the right words to say to a mourner at a funeral? How much should you spend on a wedding present? We wondered if it was just us, or if everyone struggles with the whole adulting thing. So we asked friends, all in their twenties and thirties, when they really felt like a grown-up.

When did you first realise you werent a kid any more?

When my dad who I thought knew everything started asking me for advice on interest rates.

When Topshop rejected my student discount card, and I complained, only to be told it had run out six months ago

When I bought a new lampshade and I completely fell in love with it.

When I drove past someones house and thought, Wow, thats a lovely lawn.

When I got my first proper job, including my own limitless supply of Post It notes, and a Sellotape dispenser and business cards.

When I wiped out a friend whod always made me feel bad about myself. Okay, no killing was involved, but I stopped contact, deleted them from Facebook and Instagram, and moved on.

When I got into trouble, legally, and my parents said, This is your mess, and I realised that was it, I had no one else to depend on.

When I started paying off my student loan.

When I decided to stop making the effort to see my old mates from school because I realised I had grown out of those friendships.

When I realised Id rather go to bed at 10pm on a Friday night and sleep for 12 hours than go out boozing with colleagues.

When I became a parent.

When I suddenly got a workplace pension at 22. I thought retirement was a long way off!