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Lorilee Craker - We Should Do This More Often: A Parents Guide to Romance, Passion, and Other Pre-Child Activities You Vaguely Recall

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We Should Do This More Often: A Parents Guide to Romance, Passion, and Other Pre-Child Activities You Vaguely Recall: summary, description and annotation

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Because 18 Years Is a Long Time to Wait
In a recent poll taken by Parents magazine, 87 percent of moms admitted they dont make love as often as they did before having kids, while one-third confessed their love life has taken a major nosedive. Experts say a whopping majority of moms suffer from low libido, and many of the reasons arent biological. So how can you get your mojo back and start to love making love again? Get the scoop on these and other extremely hotand often hilarioustopics, including:
Timing that works for everyone (were not talking the next decade)
Keeping the ankle biters in their beds when you desperately need them out of yours
Why you need to make the effort (if not for your marriage, at least for your sanity)
Reclaiming your sexual self (shes not gone forever, but is probably sleeping every chance she gets)
Lorilee Craker explores the factors that put a dent in your lust life and offers plenty of fun ideas for stoking the home fires again. Dont miss Lorilees own Tales from the Love Shack, dish from other real-life moms, and insights from professionals to help you get in touch with your inner Red Hot Mama. Who knew that rediscovering romance, passion, and closeness with your husband was possibleor could be so much fun?

Lorilee Craker: author's other books


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Praise for We Should Do This More Often What a challenge Sexual intimacy in - photo 1
Praise for
We Should Do This More Often

What a challenge! Sexual intimacy in a marriage with young children! Lorilee Craker motivates us to make it happen.

E LISA M ORGAN , president and CEO, MOPS International (Mothers of Preschoolers)

My husband highly recommends We Should Do This More Often. Maybe it was throwing away my ratty nightshirt and replacing it with something a bit more, well, racy, that won him over. Or perhaps it was the romantic CD I compiled for us to dance to while the kids spent the weekend at Grandmas. He didnt really say. All he knows is, ever since his wife read Lorilee Crakers sassy call to reclaim prechild marital fun, things have been a bit more interesting around the home frontand yes, the bedroom. Ladies, grab this book! You and your hubby will be glad you did.

J ULIE A NN B ARNHILL , author of Radical Forgiveness, Scandalous Grace, Til Debt Do Us Part, and the bestseller Shes Gonna Blow!

Lorilee has written a hilarious and true description of romance-deprived marriage. We Should Do This More Often is a must-read for couples.

S HONNA S MITH , star of the A&E reality series Family Plots

I love this book. Its funny, and I related to so many of the women in Lorilees stories. I loved it most of all because it reassured me that the pleasure of intimacy with my husband is one of the best things I can do for the strength of my family.

C INDY M ORGAN , wife, mother, singer, and songwriter

This terrific book is for anyone whos ever thought, Sleep or sex? Well duh! Lorilees latest guide for moms reminds us that sex is as important as sleep in a marriageand can be just as comforting and relaxing. Not to mention fun! Her light style takes the drudgery out and shows off all the enjoyment of rekindling the fire with your husband.

D R. K EVIN L EMAN , author of Sheet Music

O THER B OOKS BY L ORILEE C RAKER

See How They Run
O for a Thousand Nights to Sleep
When the Belly Button Pops, the Babys Done
A Is for Adam: Biblical Baby Names

We Should Do This More Often A Parents Guide to Romance Passion and Other Pre-Child Activities You Vaguely Recall - image 2

We Should Do This More Often A Parents Guide to Romance Passion and Other Pre-Child Activities You Vaguely Recall - image 3
To Buck, I love you.
Verna Jayne

My beloved is mine, and I am his.
S ONG OF S OLOMON 2:16

Contents

1 Whats the Big Whoop?
Why Sex Matters to a Marriage

2 Baby Is Not the King Around Here
How to Take the Tyranny Out of Your Child-Centered Family

3 Get Out of My Dreams and into My Minivan
With Emphasis on Get Out

4 Yeah Girl, You Just Pushed a Baby Through There!
Beating the Libido Busters, Part 1: Sex After Six Weeks

5 Hollywood Moms and Real Red-Hot Mamas
Beating the Libido Busters, Part 2: The Influence
of Pop Culture

6 Youve Got a Body Even a Mother Can Loveand
in a Thong Too
Beating the Libido Busters, Part 3: Body Image

7 Sure, Your Man Is from Marsbut Arent
Martians Cute?
Beating the Libido Busters, Part 4: His Needs, Her Needs

8 If You Dont Go Back to Bed Right Now
Beating the Libido Busters, Part 5: Kiddus Interruptus

Acknowledgments

Picture 4 o Doyle, first and foremost, for helping me with research for this book; for being a great, helpful husband and father; and for allowing me to divulge so much personal info about you. (You come off like a major stud, just so you know!)

To Jonah and Ezra, for giving Mom and Dad two big excuses to revamp our love lives! May you two always put your wives first some day, and may you enjoy a lifetime of passion the way God designed you to.

To my parents, Abe and Linda Reimer, for continued support and prayer.

To my hilarious, wonderful girlfriends, who dished many stories from your own love shacks for this book. Since many of your names have been changed, I wont reveal them now. You know who you are.

To experts, such as Kevin Leman, Karen Linamen, the Berman sisters, Michelle Wiener-Davis, Ellen Kreidman, and especially Valerie Davis Raskin, for your wealth of knowledge and insight on the topic of sexuality.

To Oprah Winfrey, for your amazingly dead-on Getting in Touch with Your Inner Sexpot episode. It sparked this whole book!

The Madison Square Church MOPS group: uh huh Thanks for all the giggles, girls, not to mention for filling out my little questionnaires. We all know way too much about one another.

To my essential and fabulous Writers Guild ladies who encourage me, prop me up after disappointments, tell me Im amazing when I feel anything but, and the list goes on and on Ann Byle, Tracy Groot, Jen Abbas, and Julie Johnson. I love you, girls.

Other writer friends, who are so marvelous and cool and inspiring: Julie Barnhill, Beth Lagerborg, Laura Jensen Walker, and Lisa Tawn Bergren. I aspire to be like you guys.

To my agent, Chip MacGregor: youre a great buddy and a terrific, encouraging agent-man, but you dance way too fast for your own good.

To Bob Wood and Pat Chown, my Canuck connections: thanks for ads in Canadian flyers, for keeping me plugged in to the True North, and for Blue Jays tix. I am so thankful for you both.

To the WaterBrook family, especially Don Pape and Laura Barker, for believing in me and my writing, for caring about my life and my family, and for all the tender, loving care you put into each book.

To Laura Wright, for carefully catching my right-brained misses, all with a wry smile and a cool sense of humor. Im definitely taking you up on your invite to come to NYC!

And finally, to Erin Healy, a dream to do a book with, who has spoiled me for any and all future editors. For reading my mind, knowing my heart, getting my weird sense of humor, boosting my spirits, and being my friend as well as my editorthank you, thank you, thank you. I hope we always stay connected.

INTRODUCTION
Before There Were Bunnies

Picture 5o say ones sex life changes after becoming a parent is like saying the prairies look a bit disheveled after a tornado. Its the understatement of the century. The happy interludes of young married couple life fly out the door the minute that swaddled bundle of joy is carried in. (Of course, the first and third trimesters of pregnancy should have served as big clues that the fun and frolic of prebaby days were about to morph into something else entirely, but I digress.)

Babies always choose to yell their head off at exactly the wrong moment. Even if they snooze on cueno small feat, of coursenew parents are way too zonked to consider engaging in the activity that got them into this situation in the first place. Sleep or sex? Well, duh.

Toddlers sleep through the night, one would hope, but they do have the ability to clamber out of their cribs or toddler beds and make their way to Mommy and Daddys chamberswith little regard for privacy or timing.

Preschoolers are even worse because they want to know what in the Sam Hill is going on in there. If the child is any older, a

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