Toni Nieuwhof - Before You Split: Find What You Really Want for the Future of Your Marriage

Toni has given us an open, raw, and vulnerable look at marriage. This book is as real as it gets. She has not glazed over or discounted the hard parts, and she has not exaggerated the celebrations. She doesnt give us a prescription to fix our marriages but rather a path to honesty and growth. You will find in these pages a message laced with hope and filled with a challenge to get real about what you want in your marriage, why you want it, and what youre going to do about it.

B OB G OFF , New York Times bestselling author of Love Does and Everybody Always

I dont like when perfect couples write perfect books about their perfect marriages. It feels discouraging, unattainable, and, above all, fake. I want real books about real marriages that offer real hope. Thats why I love Toni Nieuwhofs Before You Split. She offers practical guidance and time-tested advice to make it through the messy middle while building the marriage youve always wanted. If youve ever thought, I wonder what it would take to make my marriage awesome, then read this book.

J ON A CUFF , New York Times bestselling author of Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done

If youre stuck in your marriage or know someone who is, Before You Split is the practical help youre looking for. Toni Nieuwhof is not only someone we trust personally, but shes also a voice that needs to be heard when more couples than ever find themselves struggling in ways they never expected.

M ARK B ATTERSON , New York Times bestselling author of The Circle Maker and lead pastor of National Community Church

Before You Split is a unique and wonderful gift to marriage. Tonis clear-eyed experience as a divorce attorney, her vulnerability about her own marriage, her familiarity with marital research, her spiritual sensitivity, and her wonderful writing voice make this unlike any book on the subject we know. We cannot imagine a marriage (or life) that would not benefit from this book.

J OHN AND N ANCY O RTBERG , authors and speakers

Before You Split blends hard-earned wisdom from Tonis own marriage with professional experience to create the essential message that all struggling couples must hear: what you are living today in your marriage is not your inevitable future. This book meets you in places of despair, conflict fatigue, and hopelessness, and offers you a lifelinea practical road map that will help you pull back the curtain of your marriage, expose the roots of repeated conflicts, and challenge your hearts to move from a place of defeat and self-protection to hope and possibility. The principles in Before You Split have the power to carry your marriage far beyond survival into a place primed for the restoration of intimacy and partnership. From the perspective of a psychologist who helps many couples navigate marriage restoration, I urge you to read this book to help you make the best decision you can for the future of your relationshipone not rooted in emotion alone but in wisdom.

C HARITY B YERS, P H D, executive director of Blessing Ranch Ministries

Toni Nieuwhof offers us truth that is both practical and profound. This book is filled with real-life tensions that every married person has had to live with and genuine solutions that Toni has found through her vast experience and personal struggle. Its authentic, practical, applicable, and useful for every couple who wants to live their best life together. Im so grateful Toni has chosen vulnerability and honesty as weapons of hope. Her words fight back against the despair of distance that threatens all our relationships. This book is a must-read for everyone in a lifelong relationship!

D ANIELLE S TRICKLAND , international speaker, advocate, and author of Better Together: How Women and Men Can Heal the Divide and Transform the Future

Toni Nieuwhof is the guide youve been waiting for. Deeply wise, genuinely empathetic, and uncommonly insightful, Toni is a fresh voice with tried and true experience that offers a proven roadmap. Before you even think about splittingsplit this book open and find the hope youve been looking for.

A NN V OSKAMP , New York Times bestselling author of The Broken Way and One Thousand Gifts

Toni Nieuwhof is a quiet storma brilliant mix of intellect, compassion, and revolution. Her new book is sure to revolutionize your marriage.

S AM C OLLIER , international speaker and author of A Greater Story

I have never read a marriage book like this one! Tonis perspective as a divorce lawyer is so unique and extremely helpful to all marriages, not just those in trouble. Its an amazing and helpful book that gets at the heart of a healthy marriage through both practical tips and relatable stories. As a pastor, I have already recommended it to many couples and have assigned it as mandatory reading for those I am counseling. God is going to use this book to save marriages! Thank you, Toni, for sharing decades of experience and thinking with the rest of us!

M ARK C LARK , senior pastor of Village Church, and author of The Problem of God and The Problem of Jesus

The stories I share from my years as a lawyer are composites and represent the themes of what Ive seen in many families, where the facts and experiences of those involved were similar. If you think you know a man or woman from the descriptions in this book, I promise you its purely coincidental and you dont.

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