Robert Kim Bailey - The North Beach Diet: Add Belly and Hip Fat Instantly with Batter Fried Twinkies and More

THE
NORTH
BEACH
DIET

KIM BAILEY

Foreword By
Ophelia Belly & Chuck Roast

RUTLEDGE HILL PRESS
NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE

A DIVISION OF THOMAS NELSON, INC.
WWW. THOMASNELSON. COM

A portion of the profits from the sale of each book goes to the Science and Health Research Institute in Tri-Star, Colorado: monies directed to Florida Laboratory for Adolescent Behavior (FLAB).

Copyright 2005 by Kim Bailey

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

This book is written and published solely for its humor value, and you should always consult with your doctor before starting a new diet program.

Rutledge Hill Press books may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, fundraising, or sales promotional use. For information, please email SpecialMarkets@ThomasNelson.com.

Published by Rutledge Hill Press, a Division of Thomas Nelson, Inc., P. O. Box 141000, Nashville,Tennessee, 37214.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Available

1-4016-0216-9

Printed in the United States of America

05 06 07 08 095 4 3 2 1

ADDITIONAL BOOKS BY THE AUTHOR

COMING SOON

The DaVinci Diet

The murder of the personal chef for the curator of the Louvre leads to a trail of clues involving the low-carb diet and how it may have played a role in the death of Mona Lisa.

The Purpose-less Driven Life

Mans search for meaning is endless. The author explores his compelling journey for boundless life through good food.

A Childrens Classic
Of Course Ill Eat Green Eggs and Ham

I will eat them in a box, or with a fox, in a house, or with a mouse. Your child will be enchanted by the tales of Jumbo, Dumbo, and Louie, on their quest to find the ultimate Green Eggs and Ham.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Chapter 2 The Smart Start: Our Seven-Day
Quick-Gorge Program

There are two people who, without their help and support, this book would never have been written. They have encouraged me and stood by my lifes journey every step of the way.

The loves of my life: Sara Lee and Little Debbie.

They stuck with me throughout my formative years, through thick and thin. College exams would never have been passed without them. The three of us were inseparable during those all-night last-minute cram sessions. And life, well, it just wouldnt have been the same without these two sweeties.

Both in my personal or professional life, when I was stressed, they were always there. When I was happy, I reached for them... the closer we became, the more my contentment grew. Yes, sadly, there were times when I pushed them away for some sweet thing dressed up in pink, blue, or yellowbut they were tarts, unable to satisfy my real needs.

So my loves, it is with true fondness, care, and devotion, that I dedicate this revolutionary new program to you. Youve found the way to my heart... you have no Equal.

Foreword
THE POSSIBLE DREAM

Welcome to The North Beach Diet! And a hearty congratulations for taking this initial step to improving your overall quality of life. You will find no other diet approach that will allow you to gain weight faster than this unique program. And think about it, you can literally be two sizes bigger in just one weekend... just by following the easy Eat-Till-You-Drop system.

We are so proud of our great friend Kim Bailey who gained 145 pounds in just six months, became emotionally insulated, and allowed food to control every aspect of his lifeand with this sound program now you can too.

Have you ever fantasized about eating anything and everything you ever wanted? Have you wondered what it would be like to wear muumuus all day long, or fit into size 54 pants? Do you dream about what it would be like to be ogled admiringly by people as you sashay down the beach with a giant-size bag of Nutter Butters in one hand, and a large Frosty in the other? Dream no moreits all possible with the incredible fat-track program.

You will never again have to eat fruits, unless they are baked in a cobbler or pie and topped with lots of rich ice cream and caramel, or vegetables without buttered bread crumbs and cheddar cheese sauce. No more broiled, steamed, baked, anything... its fried all the way, baby, from this point forward, and fried as everything should bein great-tasting lard.

Just think, tonight after dinner, you can have a two-vegetable snack of french fries and ketchup; and wash it all down with a hearty root beer vanilla ice cream float. Think about how much fun your entire family will have, watching TV passing around a can of Redi-Whip topping squirting it in each others mouths, seeing who can swallow the most in one never-ending spray. Yes, its a program for the entire family.

Even the Virtual Exercise plan is simple and fun to follow. Youll be Relaxin to the Oldies in no time. Remember, there are no foods you cant eatthrow out discipline, moderation, and portion control! Eat as much as you can holdthen, a little bit more. Every day is like Thanksgiving Day on the North Beach Diet. The dream is possible. Enjoy!

Ophelia Belly
and Chuck Roast
2005

PART I
GETTING
STARTED

Chapter One
WHAT THIS DIET CAN
DO FOR YOU

If you are like me, in the past, Id buy or join a new weight gain program and go right to what I could eat. Often I wouldnt even read the program; and when I did, I wouldnt follow it. Since Id been on so many programs, I knew all the answers and was interested only in the quick fix.

If someone told me that Id have to plan my eating, Go fly a kite would be my typical response, for I knew all the answers. Id start a new program time and again and do the same thing over and over, expecting different results. Now how crazy is that? Can you identify with me? I bet you can.

Today is the time to change. Not tomorrow. Start now. Weve all played the if only game far too many times. Forget the past, or at least vow not to repeat it. Before you begin, however, there are a few things you should do to better guarantee your success these next thirty days. In order of importance, they are:

1. Read the whole thing. Read the entire program, page by page, at least once before you begin. Complete the Support Journal daily, for the next thirty days.

2. Find some partners. Find three chubby accountability partners to follow this program with you for the next thirty days. Find like-minded people who need to gain approximately the same amount of weight and are close to the same non-athletic level as you. Make sure they are just as committed to following this program.

Family, friends, and business associates are the best source, but if no one is available, distribute flyers in your neighborhood (much like a yard sale) or put a small classified ad in your local paper. Here is a sample ad:

GAIN WEIGHT, 30-DAY PROGRAM
Female (or male) Fat Partner wanted for eating,
weigh-ins & holding each other accountable.

Mention the area of town you live in because you want people close by for the convenience of meeting daily for Virtual Exercise. Also, make sure they invest in this program, just as you did. This is important because you want them to take it seriously. If you can only find one or two others, thats okay, but weve found that a group of four is best. If you can find no one, go ahead and follow the program solo but keep looking. Having a partner or two will increase your chances of success significantly.

3. Review menus. As weve discussed, if you eat out a lot, get menus from local restaurants you frequent and review them to determine the highest calorie items on the menu, so you can decide what to order in advance. If they serve large portions, make sure they will accommodate you by serving at least twice as much of the high carbohydrate foods such as corn and potatoes. If you cannot finish all the food, put the remaining in a take-out container and try to eat it on the way home.