Florence Littauer - Personality Plus for Couples: Understanding Yourself and the One You Love

2001 by Florence Littauer

Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com

Ebook edition created 2011

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwisewithout the prior written permission of the publisher and copyright owners. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

ISBN 978-1-5855-8132-0

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, D.C.

Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version . NIV . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com

A special thanks to Tammy Bennett and Rose Sweet
for their creative stimulation and words of encouragement.
F LORENCE L ITTAUER

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

Once upon a Time...

Back in the good old days when I was young, all fiction had the same plot: The beautiful princess is the catch of the town, all men pursue her, some are villains, the handsome prince slays the undeserving, the princess leaps into his arms in gratitude, and they fall in love, get married, and...

When I run through this litany at conferences I can always count on the crowd to finish this fairy-tale plotline for me. We all know the prince and princess always go on to live happily ever after, right?

But did you ever notice that those fairy tales all end with the wedding? They dont even review the honeymoon and surely dont touch on the trauma of discovering that this person is nothing like you and disagrees with your opinion on things as basic as buttering toast.

For Fred and me it was the grapes. We were sitting on the patio of a pink cottage in Bermuda when the waiter brought us a platter of fruit. I was excited with the service and began to talk to the grapes. (I frequently talk to inanimate objects when no one else seems to be listening.)

What a cute little fellow you are, I said to a grape. I think Ill eat you first.

As I was chatting sociably with the fruit, Fred turned towards me and asked, Do you like grapes?

I thought that was an unnecessary question since I was happily eating the grapes. But submissive bride that I was, I smiled and answered, Yes, I like grapes.

Then I assume youd like to know how to eat them properly, he responded.

I had no idea there was a proper way to eat grapes, but being polite, I asked, How do you eat grapes properly? I had already learned that in Freds family everything had to be done politely and properly.

First you take out your nail clippers, Fred instructed.

I didnt have nail clippers, but Fred did. Fred has enough equipment in his pockets to outlast the cast of Survivor. He has a minimum of nine pens with him, even on vacation: red, blue, and black, with fine tip, medium tip, and felt tip. And not only does Fred have his pens, his nail clippers, his Swiss army knife, and his keys, but they are always in the same pocket so he can produce them quickly with no fumbling.

Then you clip a small cluster of grapes from the larger bunch, Fred explained as he took out his nail clippers, selected a little cluster of grapes, and snipped them off at the main stem.

Do they taste better that way? I asked, confused by why this procedure was so important.

Fred looked at me with pity. It has nothing to do with the taste. Its to preserve the shape of the bunch.

Now I didnt know who cared about how the bunch looked, so I turned around to see if there were any grape judges hidden in the bushes. Seeing none, I asked, What difference does it make? I had not yet learned one does not question Freds statements without expecting to receive a simplistic lesson appropriate for a first grader.

When you eat grapes the way you are doing, Fred said with an air of superiority, you will notice that there are little ugly brown stems sticking up all over the bunch.

I looked. Sure enough, there were ugly brown stems sticking up. But they didnt bother me, so I still didnt understand the problem. I hadnt yet learned that my opinion didnt matter if the situation bothered him.

This grape-eating situation was just the first of many that revealed my new husbands penchant for attention to every detail.

When wed been married only two weeks, we went to a movie one night. On the way home I had an idea. Could we stop and get an ice cream cone? I suggested.

Without hesitation, Fred said no.

Now I wasnt used to this. What do you mean no? I asked.

I mean, no you cant have an ice cream cone. Freds answer was simple enough, but it didnt really answer my question, so he continued. You will have to learn that every morning I make out my schedule for the day. From here on, if you wish to have ice cream at 11:00 at night, you tell me at 7:00 in the morning when I make out my schedule.

But I didnt know at 7:00 this morning that I would want ice cream at 11:00 tonight, I protested. Unfortunately for me, my argument wasnt very persuasive for Fred. I didnt get my ice cream.

I often share these stories at conferences where I speak. And its at about this point that Fred bursts through the audience, grabs the mike, and remarks, I bet you think shes a lot of fun to live with!

Some members of the audience are afraid hes mad at me, some laugh, and a few applaud as if to say, Yes, she is fun to live with. (I always encourage that last group and get everyone clapping with me.) While all of this is happening, Fred looks disturbed and begins to tell tales about me.

I want you ladies to know that after I married Florence there were many significant changes in my life. Fred states this with an air of perfection and disappointment. Before I got married my toothpaste tube was always neat and tidy, but after we got married it turned ugly. I began to watch Florence to see what in the world she was doing with the toothpaste.

Fred watched me a lot. And he not only watched, but he felt led to tell me how not to make that mistake again.

Of course, shes talking all the time and paying no attention to what shes doing, Fred continues with his description of my appalling toothpaste habits. She picks up the toothpaste and squeezes it in the middle, he groans, seeking sympathy from his fellow neatniks in the crowd. It pours out of the top and gets the whole tube all sticky. Then she takes her brush and smears it across the top. Sometimes she puts the cap on and sometimes she doesnt. Its a mess either way.

At this point the neatniks like Fred are feeling sick, and the ones like me are sympathetic and hoping Fred doesnt yell at me.

But Ive solved the problem, he says brightly as he looks toward the audience for the answer. Two tubes they call out, proud of their quick response.

Thats right, Fred says with a smile. Two tubes. She has her own tube, and she can squeeze it whatever way she wants. But when it gets real messy she hands it to me and says, Here, Fred, will you straighten this out please?

Fred gives a satisfied smile. So I lay it down on the counter and smooth it out. She gets another month out of it, and weve saved money.

As he smirks triumphantly, I jump in. The reason I give him the toothpaste

Before I can finish he moves in front of me and comments, People with Florences kind of personality tend to interrupt a lot.

I counter with, Those of you like me know that we dont really see it as interrupting. Its just that what weve got to say is more interesting than what the other person is saying. The women in the audience laugh in agreement.