Robert Garfield - Breaking the Male Code: Unlocking the Power of Friendship

PRAISE FOR ROBERT GARFIELD AND BREAKING THE MALE CODE

Dr. Garfield explains why emotional intimacy is a rare quality in male friendships and offers a clear road map for men to forge deeper connections. His style is warm, engaging, and user-friendly. I suspect that countless wives will put this book on their husbands bedside table.

Harriet Lerner, PhD, author of The Dance of Anger and Marriage Rules

Rob Garfield knows that the cure for what ails men is intimacyconnection to themselves and others. With compassion and wit, he shows men, step by step, how to move beyond the strictures of Male Code into the richness of an open heart. Both practical and moving, Breaking the Male Code belongs on the shelf of every man wanting to grow and every clinician dedicated to helping.

Terrence Real, author of I Dont Want to Talk About It

In this wonderfully readable book, Dr. Robert Garfield brings his extensive knowledge and rich experience to show how men think and feel about their relationships with other men. Breaking the Male Code delivers a powerful and hopeful message, one that provides men of all ages with the skills necessary to enjoy deep and fulfilling relationships with one another. This book has the potential to dramatically improve all the important relationships in mens lives!

Constance Ahrons, PhD, professor emerita at the University of Southern California and author of The Good Divorce and Were Still Family

A compelling book that goes to the heart of male loneliness and points the way toward deeper and more fulfilling friendships in mens lives.

Samuel Osherson, author of Finding Our Fathers and The Stethoscope Cure

Remember how Thoreau said that men lead lives of quiet desperation? If only hed read Rob Garfields book! Hed understand not only why theyre desperate but also how to address their needs. A vital message about mens emotional needs, offered with care, thought, and great compassion.

Michael Kimmel, author of Guyland and executive director for the Center for the Study of Men and Masculinities at Stony Brook University

With warmth and empathy, Rob Garfield takes on the task of helping us to overcome our stereotypes about maleness and our often incomplete definition of friendship so that men can relate to one another in an intimate way.

Donald N. Bersoff, PhD, JD, former president of the American Psychological Association

Garfield does a superb job of revealing the obstacles to intimacy in mens friendships as well as providing a detailed guide on how to build such friendships. Linking the theoretical with the practical, this book will be extremely useful for men everywhere.

Niobe Way, EdD, professor of Developmental Psychology at New York University and author of Deep Secrets: Boys Friendships and the Crisis of Connection

Breaking the Male Code is a book that will change lives. Garfields broad and deep knowledge of men, their struggles, doubts, and perseverance, coupled with their often unfulfilled wish to connect with other men is evident on every page. His sage direction will enable men to relish life more fully.

Evan Imber-Black, PhD, program director for Marriage and Family Therapy at Mercy College and author of The Secret Life of Families and Rituals for Our Times

Breaking the Male Code has the potential to be among every therapists best friend in terms of what theyll want to recommend to their male clients. A valuable resource for males of all ages and for the women who love them.

Robert Heasley, PhD, CMF, former president of the American Mens Studies Association and professor of sociology at Indiana University of Pennsylvania

Gotham Books, an imprint of Penguin Random House

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Copyright 2015 by Robert Garfield

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LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING - I N - PUBLICATION DATA

Garfield, Robert (Physician)

Breaking the male code : unlocking the power of friendship, overcoming male isolation for a longer, happier life / Robert Garfield, M.D.

pages cm

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-0-698-19109-9

1. MenPsychology. 2. Masculinity. 3. Male friendshipSociological aspects. 4. MenFamily relationships. I. Title.

HQ1090.G358 2015

155.3'3224dc23 2014043844

While the author has made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers, Internet addresses, and other contact information at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors or for changes that occur after publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

None of the names of any individuals mentioned in my stories, other than those of family or friends, correspond to any actual persons living or dead. The stories are composites and are used to illustrate particular dynamics that commonly occur in mens relationships.

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