Katherine Flannery - 50 Essential Etiquette Lessons: How to Eat Lunch with Your Boss, Handle Happy Hour Like a Pro, and Write a Thank You Note in the Age of Texting and Tweeting

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ISBN: Print 978-1-64152-593-0 | eBook 978-1-64152-594-7

FOR BETTY FURMAN

contents

Hello, and welcome to your guide on the essential, modern etiquette you need to know, with none of the stuffiness thats best left in the dining room of Downton Abbey. This book will equip you with the knowledge to get through all kinds of formal, social, and business scenarios with grace, style, and ease. Etiquette is, after all, just having a plan for what to say and do when youre out in the world.

Its true! Etiquette, believe it or not, is actually here to help younot to make you feel inferior or like youre not privy to some set of uptight rules about how to behave at high tea. Maybe thats what etiquette used to be, but not anymore. Today, essential etiquette is all about knowing what to say when you first meet someone, what do in meetings, and how to behave (and still have fun) at fancy events. It gives you confidence and helps you be your best selfbecause you dont have to waste time and energy trying to figure out which fork to use.

Say youre out to lunch with your boss. And the CEO. And the CFO. And some other executives youve never met. Youre at the fanciest restaurant you have ever been to, and obviously you want to make a good impression. You want to know the right things to say, the right way to order, and what to do with your napkin if you have to go to the restroom. But wait, how in the world do you even excuse yourself to go to the restroom? Do you announce it to the entire table? That doesnt seem right.... You shouldnt just get up and walk away mid-meal, should you? Here comes the server. Hes going to take your order first. Do you order an alcoholic beverage? Are appetizers a thing at lunch? Why dont they have mozzarella sticks at fancy restaurants?!

If youve never thought about being in this situation before, itd be easy to spiral into full-blown panic mode before anyones even said anything to you. Nerves are perfectly natural (read: inevitable). But having a bit of etiquette know-how in the back pocket of those fancy pants can get you through any situation with an air of confidence and professionalism that you might not feel (yet).

It sure helped me when I committed an enormous faux pas in my first job. A company-wide email went out inviting everyone to a baseball game. I am not much of a sports enthusiast, so when I wrote back to the office manager, a super-sweet lady who always joked around with me, I was blunt: Baseball is lame. Hard pass!

She took me aside later that day and explained this wasnt just a random free day at the ballpark. This was the annual company outing, and the big boss had rented a box for everyone. Oh, and did I realize that when I sent my email I had hit Reply All?

I almost passed out. I still get cold sweats just thinking about it, even though it was years ago. I had broken some very basic rules of etiquette. Id not only been the opposite of gracious about receiving an invitation, but I had been insulting when I declined the invite. Additionally, I had been a jerk to the whole company, including the owner, who was trying to pay for me to enjoy a day of hot dogs and beer.

Luckily for me, my mom has some of the best social graces in the world. Since I was a little girl, shes been teaching meboth explicitly and by way of examplehow to interact with people in a way that shows them respect without compromising ones own self-respect. While I had utterly failed to use her etiquette lessons in this situation, I could imagine what shed tell me to do to make it right. I wrote another email, again to the whole company, apologizing for being rude, admitting that I probably just never got to enjoy baseball with a great group of people, and saying Id love to go so I could learn to appreciate the game. I closed by thanking the owner for the invite. While there were some jokes made at my expense at the game, everyone was very good-natured about my faux pas.

I had failed to use good etiquette, but, even then, good etiquette saved me. And it can save you toofrom awkwardness, embarrassment, and feeling like you have no idea how to navigate even the most basic social situations. Thats what I hope to get across in this book: the core essentials that just make life a little easier.