Sue Fox - Modern Etiquette For Dummies

Modern Etiquette For Dummies

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Copyright 2023 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey

Published simultaneously in Canada

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Library of Congress Control Number: 2022948276

ISBN 978-1-119-98284-5 (pbk); ISBN 978-1-119-98285-2 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-119-98286-9 (ebk)

1. Chapter 8
2. Chapter 12
3. Chapter 14
4. Chapter 15
5. Chapter 16

Your time will come. When you least expect it, youll receive an invitation to a banquet where each table setting involves more utensils than you have in your entire silverware drawer at home. Your companys annual holiday party will be designated semiformal, and you wont even have a clean tie. Youll buy exactly four steaks for Sunday dinner with your in-laws, and theyll bring along two cousins you never even knew existed. Life is full of moments when you dont know exactly what to do but have no fear, a little bit of etiquette can help you through.

Yes, etiquette deals with which fork to use for the salad course and concerns your behavior at cocktail receptions. But etiquette is a much broader issue. Etiquette is your key to surviving every human contact with your sense of humor and your self-esteem intact, and your reputation enhanced. Etiquette works in supermarket checkout lines, at family picnics, at company holiday parties, on the phone, online, and yes, at wedding receptions.

Remember that theres no such thing as a vacation from good manners. Politeness works everywhere, all the time, and is all about taking the lead, making guests feel welcome, taking the time to evaluate the needs and intentions of others, and behaving in a way that ensures a pleasant outcome. At home, your polite behavior helps everyone in your family develop self-esteem. On the job, good manners encourage others to work well with you. As you go about your errands and chores, polite contacts with others earn you pleasant and helpful responses. As Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, Your manners are always under examination, and by committees little suspected, awarding or denying you very high prizes when you least expect it.

Sadly, today many people are exhibiting less civility toward one another, and children are following suit with teachers and peers in the classroom. This lack of civility has become a major problem, with rude behavior becoming normalized. According to a 2019 NPR/PBS News Hour poll, the majority of Americans agree that a crisis is deepening when it comes to civility (the act of showing regard and respect for others). The point is that everyone should do their best to examine their own behavior, then try to set a good example by putting others first. And thats a point that you hear again and again in this book.

Etiquette changes with the times, and some rules have been relaxed. But acting respectfully, with grace and tact, will never go out of style! Being rude is easy, but showing kindness takes self-discipline and self-esteem. Being kind is a sign of strength.

Modern Etiquette For Dummies, 3rd Edition, can help you find a way to put others at ease in almost any situation.

You certainly cant find a shortage of books loaded with the so-called rules of etiquette. This book contains rules, too, but I approach the subject from the perspective of an ordinary person faced with social situations that are just a bit challenging. If you have time to put up your feet and read this book from cover to cover, you can come away with a working knowledge of etiquette in all its aspects. On the other hand, if you just received an invitation to a party and you arent sure how to dress or how to behave, you can turn to the appropriate section in this book, find the information you need, and head out to the party with confidence.

Feel free to skip sidebars (the shaded gray boxes). They contain information thats definitely interesting (to me, at least!) but not crucial to understanding the fine points of etiquette.