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Carol Faulkner - Unfaithful: Love, Adultery, and Marriage Reform in Nineteenth-Century America

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Unfaithful: Love, Adultery, and Marriage Reform in Nineteenth-Century America: summary, description and annotation

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In her 1855 fictionalized autobiography, Mary Gove Nichols told the story of her emancipation from her first unhappy marriage, during which her husband controlled her body, her labor, and her daughter. Rather than the more familiar metaphor of prostitution, Nichols used adultery to define loveless marriages as a betrayal of the self, a consequence far more serious than the violation of a legal contract. Nichols was not alone. In Unfaithful, Carol Faulkner places this view of adultery at the center of nineteenth-century efforts to redefine marriage as a voluntary relationship in which love alone determined fidelity.

After the Revolution, Americans understood adultery as a sin against God and a crime against the people. A betrayal of marriage vows, adultery was a cause for divorce in most states as well as a basis for civil suits. Faulkner depicts an array of nineteenth-century social reformers who challenged the restrictive legal institution of marriage, redefining adultery as a matter of individual choice and love. She traces the beginning of this redefinition of adultery to the evangelical ferment of the 1830s and 1840s, when perfectionists like John Humphrey Noyes, founder of the Oneida Community, concluded that marriage obstructed the individuals relationship to God. In the 1840s and 1850s, spiritualist, feminist, and free love critics of marriage fueled a growing debate over adultery and marriage by emphasizing true love and consent. After the Civil War, activists turned the act of adultery into a form of civil disobedience, culminating in Victoria Woodhulls publicly charging the Reverend Henry Ward Beecher with marital infidelity.

Unfaithful explores how nineteenth-century reformers mobilized both the metaphor and the act of adultery to redefine marriage between 1830 and 1880 and the ways in which their criticisms of the legal institution contributed to a larger transformation of marital and gender relations that continues to this day.

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Unfaithful UNFAITHFUL Love Adultery and Marriage Reform in - photo 1
Unfaithful
UNFAITHFUL
Love Adultery and Marriage Reform in Nineteenth-Century America Carol - photo 2
Love, Adultery, and Marriage Reform
in Nineteenth-Century America
Carol Faulkner
A volume in the Haney Foundation Series established in 1961 with the generous - photo 3
A volume in the Haney Foundation Series,
established in 1961 with the generous support of Dr. John Louis Haney.
Copyright 2019 University of Pennsylvania Press
All rights reserved.
Except for brief quotations used for purposes of review or scholarly citation,
none of this book may be reproduced in any form by any means
without written permission from the publisher.
Published by
University of Pennsylvania Press
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19104-4112
www.upenn.edu/pennpress
Printed in the United States of America
on acid-free paper
1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2
A catalogue record is available from the Library of Congress.
ISBN 978-0-8122-5155-5
For Mae
CONTENTS
Unfaithful Love Adultery and Marriage Reform in Nineteenth-Century America - image 4
Unfaithful Love Adultery and Marriage Reform in Nineteenth-Century America - image 5
In her 1855 fictionalized autobiography Mary Lyndon, Mary Gove Nichols described her liberation from an unhappy marriage and her discovery of true love with her second husband and fellow reformer Thomas Nichols. By the time she published the novel, Mary Gove Nichols was a well-known lecturer on health and physiology and a leading practitioner of the homeopathic water-cure method. She was also an outspoken critic of legal marriage, asserting that it deprived women of their physical and moral autonomy. Her abusive first marriage had inspired this radical view. As Nichols wrote of her relationship with Hiram Gove, A conviction had long been growing within me that marriage without love was adultery.
What did Nichols mean by this curious statement? She and her first husband had been legally married. Neither of them had an extramarital affair. Instead, Nichols used this metaphor of adultery to call attention to the personal violation of obligatory, loveless sex within marriage.
Nicholss usage was not idiosyncratic. A number of mid-nineteenth-century reformers, including womens rights activists, abolitionists, spiritualists, communitarians, bohemians, and free lovers, shared her critique of unhappy, hierarchical, and brutal marriages. They used the adultery metaphor together with the far more ubiquitous criticisms of marriage as a form of slavery or prostitution. But the term legalized adultery uniquely characterized, and condemned, unwanted or unwilling marital sex in a lifelong, monogamous bond as a betrayal of the self, or individual agency in matters of love. Unlikeor, sometimes, in addition tothe marriage metaphors of slavery and prostitution, the adultery metaphor enabled activists to address controversial topics of womens equality, desire, and right to consent within the institution of marriage. For Mary Gove Nichols and other reformers, lovenot the lawcreated marriage and legitimated sexual intercourse.
Early feminists identified the question of marital rights as equally important to political rights. Other reformers deemed the marriage question more fundamental to the transformation of womens status. The most radical activists, known as free lovers, demanded an end to the constraints of legal marriage. They argued that individuals had a right to choose when and whom they loved, advocating a form of serial monogamy. More moderate marriage reformers, including womens rights activists and spiritualists, believed that love, choice, and happiness were essential to marriage. When marriages failed, they advocated liberal access to divorce. These activists differed in their attitudes toward legal marriage, insofar as the moderates still had faith in the institution, but they shared the fundamental insight that marriage should be a voluntary, loving relationship, and used variations on the idea of adultery to convey wrongs and harms within the legal bond of a marriage.
Activists defined marriage as love, and adultery as the opposite. To promote their controversial message of marriage reform, they traveled across continents and oceans; they lectured and reported; they also dabbled in new technologies such as Pitmans shorthand, the pseudoscience of phrenology, and religious mysticism. Their debates over how best to challenge legal, monogamous marriage scandalized their contemporaries: newspapers and colleagues homogenized marriage reformers and disparaged them as free lovers, cranks, and dreamers.
With few exceptions, historians have been similarly dismissive, relegating them to a sideshow of nineteenth-century reform. But this book concludes that marriage reformers were more successful than we think. Some of their ideas faded from the view because they were marginalized as eccentric, but others were mainstreamed because they were unremarkable or unobjectionable. And the adultery metaphor, however strange or incongruous, helped advance reformers shared perspectiveand oursthat only love makes marriage.
Picture 6
During this period, individual choice, mutual love, and companionship gradually and unevenly became the key requirements for marriage. They replaced earlier concepts of marriage as a consolidation of labor, reproduction, and family wealth. In companionate marriages, couples wanted a love match, or to find and marry their true love.
This historic transformation began during the American Revolution and the confusion of war, when Americans rejected community and family control over marriage in favor of individual choice and romantic love. A growing number of Americans began to engage in sexual relations outside of marriage, and men and women entered and exited romantic unions at their pleasure.
Following the Revolution, most states responded by recognizing a right to divorce. Though divorce had been available in some colonies, access expanded in the decades after the war. The rationale for revolt against Great Britain, the right to withdraw from an undesirable compact, buttressed this legal revolution. Divorce did not become commonplace, but its availability further distinguished the United States from England, where it was impossible for anyone but the aristocracy to secure a divorce. As divorce became established in American state law, politicians also placed restrictions on access, demanding fault or guilt in one party. The two most restrictive states were New York, where adultery was the only ground, and South Carolina, which offered residents no means for divorce.
The sexual turmoil of the Revolutionary period might have undermined marriage in some respects, but in the Early Republic, marriage also gained renewed importance as the fount of political and moral virtue. This change had significant implications for women. As American women and men continued to choose spouses based on mutual regard, leading thinkers articulated a new public function for marriage and reproduction: womens responsibility as guardians of civic virtue and personal morality. Such political ideals rationalized the expansion of womens education, but also placed
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