Gary Shriver - Unfaithful: Hope and Healing After Infidelity

What people are saying about

This is an outstanding book that offers a real-world Christian perspective on how adultery can happen in any marriage, no matter what the existing circumstance. The honesty and transparency the Shrivers share in this story will help couples see how God can heal marriages, even those on the verge of destruction and headed for divorce.

Mitch Temple, director of marriage
at Focus on the Family

Practical, insightful, and healing are the words to describe this resource. Blending their personal journey with helpful guidelines for recovery, this book can be a redeeming tool for broken marriages.

H. Norman Wright, author,
grief and trauma therapist

Using their own story as a rich backdrop, Gary and Mona Shriver provide couples with valuable stepping stones for crossing the torrent of pain that occurs with marital infidelity. Couples will find hope and help in their healing as they are encouraged that marriage can not only survive, but thrive after an affair.

Michael Sytsma, PhD, nationally certified
counselor and sex therapist, director of
Building Intimate Marriages, Inc.

With honesty and clarity, the Shrivers give hope and help to the hurting couple. To love again is possible with the Shrivers help.

Bill and Pam Farrel, best-selling authors
of Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like
Spaghetti and The Marriage Code

Gary and Mona understand the process of recovering from infidelity as well as anyone I know. This updated edition of Unfaithful is a realistic, practical, and extremely helpful resource for anyone on that journey. This is one of the main books we recommend to people facing this difficult issue.

Robert S. Paul, copresident of the National
Institute of Marriage and coauthor of the
best-selling The DNA of Relationships

This book is incredibly impactful. Gary and Mona unveil their deepest, most inner thoughts around the crisis they faced and how they processed it to reach the place of healing. It is a must-read for those who serve and minister to individuals and couples dealing with infidelity, but will undoubtedly make an impact on all couples by showing how important it is to guard your hearts and marriage.

Eric and Jennifer Garcia, founders
of the Association of Marriage and
Family Ministries (AMFM)

Gary and Mona are the real deal! They pull back the veil and share their experiences with transparency and authenticity. Anyone who works with couples in trouble needs to read this book. It will give you an incredible understanding into the hearts of those to whom you minister. And if you are struggling in your marriage, this book will give you hope that you can rebuild your marriage.

Greg Braly , pastor of family ministries
at New Hope Church and national
director of family ministries for the
Evangelical Free Church of America

As a practicing therapist treating infidelity, I have found Unfaithful to be one of the best resources available. Both spouses will feel understood and enlightened.

Rick Reynolds, LCSW , founder of the Affair
Recovery Center and national spokesman

Finally! For thirty years, I have been looking for this book! Although it is a story of one couples recovery from adultery, it is the best affair-prevention book I know of.

Dave Carder, MFT , pastor of counseling
ministries at First Evangelical Free Church
and author of Torn Asunder and Close Calls

The Shrivers share their thoughts, their feelings, and their choices so that others may have a roadmap to follow to recovery.

Sherman R. Glenn , licensed
marriage and family therapist

UNFAITHFUL
Published by David C. Cook
4050 Lee Vance View
Colorado Springs, CO 80918 U.S.A.

David C. Cook Distribution Canada
55 Woodslee Avenue, Paris, Ontario, Canada N3L 3E5

David C. Cook U.K., Kingsway Communications
Eastbourne, East Sussex BN23 6NT, England

David C. Cook and the graphic circle C logo
are registered trademarks of Cook Communications Ministries.

All rights reserved. Except for brief excerpts for review purposes,
no part of this book may be reproduced or used in any form
without written permission from the publisher.

The Web site addresses recommended throughout this book are offered as a resource to you. These Web sites are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement on the part of David C. Cook, nor do we vouch for their content.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible, Copyright 1960, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission; NLT are taken from the New Living Translation of the Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers. Quiz material at the end of chapter 12 is reprinted by permission of International Creative Management, Inc. Copyright 2003 by Shirley Glass.

LCCN 2009907121
ISBN 978-1-4347-6533-8
eISBN 978-0-7814-0440-2

2009 Gary and Mona Shriver
First edition published by Life Journey 2005 Gary and
Mona Shriver, ISBN 978-0-7814-4268-8

The Team: Susan Tjaden, Amy Kiechlin, Jack Campbell, and Karen Athen
Cover Design: Sarah Schultz
Cover Photo: Veer, Inc.

Second Edition 2009

We must first acknowledge a God whose love for us is greater than all our sinour Lord who provides the hope and healing we human beings are so in need of. May we be His good and faithful servants.

To our counselor and brother, Sherman Glenn. Your guidance kept us on the path of healing. You not only heard our cries but also facilitated the forming of a ministry we so desperately needed ourselves. We are humbled by the trust you placed in us as you allowed us to come alongside other couples.

To Mike and Jo, who walked with us and are the cofounders of Hope & Healing Ministries. We would never have chosen this path to a friendship, but your validation, willing hearts, and encouragement so beautifully illustrate Romans 8:28. We can only pray the four of us will continue in ministry together for many more years.

To our prayer team. You are faithful members of the body of Christ. Some of you upheld us in the early days of our own crisis, and some came later as God led. We do not underestimate your value. God alone knows the work you have done for us personally and for the ministry we are privileged to be a part of.

To the couples who have participated with us in our Hope & Healing support groups. Your courage and strength are to be admiredyou did not take the easy path. Thank you for opening yourselves up to us and for the many lessons you have taught us.

To Mary McNeil, who sat on a bench with us at Mount Hermon and believed our message was worth hearing. We believe God chose you to be His instrument in making this book a reality, and every reader will be blessed by the improvements you made in our manuscript. Those readers will never know what you did, but we do. It has been a privilege.

In an age where marriage scandal is blared from every newspaper and TV set, Christians are strangely silent about their scandals.