Julie Hoag - 40 Ways to Honor Your Mom After She Has Passed Away

40 Ways to Honor Your Mom After She Has Passed Away:

A Self-Help Guide with Healing Tools to Help when Grieving a Loss

By: Julie Hoag

First Edition

Copyright 2022, Julie Hoag

All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or replicated in any way by any means without permission from the author and publishing company, except for short passages for the purpose of reviews and those usages that follow copyright law.

Published by Julie A Hoag Julie Hoag Writer LLC

Edited by Dark Raven Edits

Dedicated to all mothers on Earth, Heaven, everywhere. And remember to savor.

Table of Contents:

P oem

Introduction

Chapter 1 Emotional Release

Chapter 2 Relational Help

Chapter 3 Food as Therapy

Chapter 4 Activities that Celebrate your mom

Chapter 5 Buy Things that Help Honor your mom

Chapter 6 Mothers Day

Chapter 7 Donate in Memory of your mother

Chapter 8 Religious Acts

Afterword

About the Author

A Mothers Fingerprint

Once her finger touched this painted fruit teapot,

just as mine does now,

a lifetime kept safe in the cabinet, it fills its spot.

Gingerly, I cradle it,

from someone it was passed down,

faint childhood memory serves me well.

Once her finger felt the ridge of the gold paint stripe down the handles swell,

protruding like a tear on my nose,

my heart puffs her knowing story to tell.

Once she held this unused pot, too precious for mere water,

perhaps she hugged it to her breasts.

I can hold it to mine now,

undusted, unwashed for thirty years on repeat,

a hug. I can still hold her fingerprint lines.

By Julie Hoag

Introduction

T his list was created in response to my feelings of grief and loss after the death of my mother. Being without your mom on Mother's Day is super hard. It just is and if this is you too, I am so very sorry for your loss. Moms are irreplaceable. Prior to Mothers Day, many people are shopping for gifts and making plans to spend the day with their moms, but those who have a mother who has passed away can't do that. Advertisements for what to buy your mom flood the market and are constant reminders of that tragic loss. People who have children can celebrate Mother's Day with their own kids, but they still are missing a giant piece of the day, their mom. Regardless, I think it's important to still celebrate the day. In this little book, I'm sharing ways to honor your mom on Mother's Day after she has passed away to help those who have lost their mom, like me.

My mother died when I was sixteen, so I've endured thirty years of missing my mom on Mother's Day. As a mom to three wonderful boys, I love Mother's Day because I can spend it with them. However, I still wish my mom were here, even after all these years of grieving the loss of her. I still want her to be alive so I could spend time with her on the special day that is Mothers Day. That feeling has not waned one bit over the years. In fact, I think its only gotten stronger as the weight of loss over my lifetime sets in.

This little book was inspired by an email I received from a woman who read my post A Letter to my Mother in Heaven, which was first published on Her View From Home, where it still resides. She asked me ideas for what her family members could do on their first Mother's Day without their mom. My heart immediately ached and reached out to them. I so wished I could give them a hug at that moment. It's so agonizing to lose a mom at any age, but it's globally devastating to lose a mom as a child. I sent her an email back with some ideas. This jogged my memory for other things I've done after my mom's death throughout the years, so I started this list to share my ideas with others who have suffered the loss of their mom. Through time Ive added to the list, and I decided it was time to put it out into the world as a little nugget of a book.

I sincerely hope my ideas help others, both adults and kids, who have suffered the loss of their mom. My heart goes out to you. This itty bitty book is my hug to you.

There are several things I have done over the years to honor and remember my mom on Mother's Day. Below is my list of all the different things I've done over the years. May it give you some peace and the ability to celebrate the memory of your own mom.

Chapter 1 Emotional Release

E motional release often just comes out of us, like a sudden dropping of heavy rain, like a bursting of a dam. Out of the blue, the emotions flood like an emotional avalanche. Other times, it trickles like a dying stream. Yet other times its a tidal wave, which is so strong, but still just a speck of the ocean. But the one in common is that one way or another, it will come. We need to allow it to come.

1. Let yourself cry.

This is so very simple, yet so very effective. And you will feel better after you let the tears out. Allow yourself to grieve. Let the tears stream down your face. We all feel better after a good cry because it lets those feelings leave our body at the moment. That buildup needs to be released.

Letting yourself cry is always helpful. While it may not be fun, it almost always helps. We do have to feel the sadness to heal, unfortunately. Just let the tears come and let it happen. Don't resist it. Tell yourself its okay to cry. Even whisper this phrase to yourself to give yourself permission. I have often felt relief after letting myself feel the loss on Mother's Day, and then it was usually easier to go on and enjoy my own Mother's Day with my family.

Allow yourself to mourn the loss of your mom so you can experience healing. Your mom would want this for you. As a mom myself, I know I would want it for my own boys.

2. Bring flowers to her gravesite or wherever her remains are located .