Susan Shapiro Barash - Toxic Friends: The Antidote for Women Stuck in Complicated Friendships
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- Book:Toxic Friends: The Antidote for Women Stuck in Complicated Friendships
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Toxic Friends: The Antidote for Women Stuck in Complicated Friendships: summary, description and annotation
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A woman can always count on are her friendsright? But what if those friendships are hurtful, harmful, even toxic? Susan Shapiro Barash explores the ten types of female friends and shows you why and how women get stuck with the worst kinds, the ways to get unstuck, and how to recognize a true friend. For example:
- The Doormatand why youre the one paying the price
- The Misery Lovershe wants to feel your pain. Really.
- The Userand why you seldom see her coming
- The Trophy Friendand what you gain from each other
Provocative and fascinating, Susan Shapiro Barash looks at the bonds (and bondage) of female friendships in a new light.
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TOXIC FRIENDS
Also by Susan Shapiro Barash
Little White Lies, Deep Dark Secrets: The Truth About Why Women Lie
Tripping the Prom Queen: The Truth About Women and Rivalry
A Passion for More: Wives Reveal the Affairs That Make or Break Their Marriages
Sisters: Devoted or Divided
The New Wife: The Evolving Role of the American Wife
Second Wives: The Pitfalls and Rewards of Marrying Widowers and Divorced Men
Mothers-in-Law and Daughters-in-Law: Love, Hate, Rivalry and Reconciliation
Reclaiming Ourselves: How Women Dispel a Legacy of Bad Choices
Women of Divorce: Mothers, Daughters, StepmothersThe New Triangle
The Men Out There: A Womans Little Black Book (with Michele Kasson, Ph.D.)
The Antidote for Women Stuck in Complicated Friendships
Susan Shapiro Barash
ST. MARTINS PRESS 
NEW YORK
In memory of my beloved Aunt Beatty
Authors Note: This book is based on extensive personal interviews with women and experts in the field of psychology and counseling. Names have been changed and recognizable characteristics disguised of all people in this book except the contributing experts. Some characters are composites.
TOXIC FRIENDS. Copyright 2009 by Shell Toss LLC. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. For information, address St. Martins Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010.
www.stmartins.com
Design by Susan Walsh
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Barash, Susan Shapiro
Toxic friends : the antidote for women stuck in complicated friendships / Susan Shapiro Barash. 1st ed.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-0-312-38639-9
1. Female friendship. 2. WomenPsychology. I. Title.
BF575.F66B36 2009
155.3'33dc22
2009016936
First Edition: October 2009
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Men seem to kick friendship around like a football, but it doesnt seem to crack. Women treat it as glass and it goes to pieces.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh
1. Please state your age.
2130 | 20 percent |
3140 | 20 percent |
4150 | 20 percent |
5160 | 20 percent |
6170 | 20 percent |
2. (a) Do you have a best friend?
Yes | 65 percent |
No | 12 percent |
A few | 23 percent |
(b) How many years has she been your friend? | |
40 percent | |
1120 | 22 percent |
2130 | 19 percent |
3140 | 19 percent |
3. (a) Do you ever feel manipulated by your friend?
Yes | 45 percent |
No | 55 percent |
(b) Have you ever been betrayed by a friend? | |
Yes | 60 percent |
No | 40 percent |
(c) If yes, in what way? | |
Stealing husband/boyfriend | 54 percent |
Petty issues | 14 percent |
Gossip | 16 percent |
Career sabotage | 16 percent |
4. (a) Have you ever had a toxic friend?
Yes | 55 percent |
No | 45 percent |
(b) Did you stay with the toxic friend or break up? | |
Stayed | 25 percent |
Broke up | 75 percent |
(c) If you broke up, what was the main reason? | |
Lack of loyalty | 13 percent |
Religious reasons | 6.5 percent |
Different values | 22 percent |
Men | 13.5 percent |
Children | 16 percent |
Emotional neediness | 20 percent |
Money | 6.5 percent |
5. If you had to describe yourself as a friend, would you say that you are:
(a) someone who leads | 20 percent |
(b) someone who shares | 35 percent |
(c) someone who is a pleaser | 15 percent |
(d) someone who plays different | 30 percent |
6. (a) Have you ever had a falling-out with a close friend?
Yes | 94 percent |
No | 6 percent |
(b) What factors played a role? | |
Men | 34 percent |
Jealousy | 14 percent |
Mothering | 7 percent |
Mental illness/ addiction | 9 percent |
Different values | 27 percent |
Money | 9 percent |
7. (a) Have you ever been reunited with a friend?
Yes | 58 percent |
No | 42 percent |
(b) How did this happen? | |
Time to forgive | 37 percent |
Met again later in life | 37 percent |
The Internet | 16 percent |
Missed the relationship | 10 percent |
8. Have you ever chosen a friend because you believed it would improve your personal situation either in terms of career, children, or social status?
Yes | 40 percent |
No | 60 percent |
9. Have you ever chosen a friend because you see yourself as twins, in your lifestyle and/or values?
Yes | 48 percent |
No | 52 percent |
10. Have you ever felt tricked by a friend, drawn in by her appeal only to find out she didnt have your best interests at heart?
Yes | 74 percent |
No | 26 percent |
11. If you moved far away from a close friend, would you anticipate keeping in touch or that the closeness would lessen?
Would keep in touch | 54 percent |
Closeness would lessen | 40 percent |
Depends upon circumstances | 6 percent |
12. Do you believe you would forgive a friend more readily than a husband or boyfriend or a child?
Yes | 22 percent |
No | 63 percent |
Depends upon circumstances |
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