Tom Kramlinger - The Social Styles Handbook: Adapt Your Style to Win Trust

We all know of distinguished doctors whose terrible bedside manners devastate their patients. Or of geniuses in strategic planning who cant inspire anyone to follow their lead. And sadly, we all know partners who give up on love because they can no longer relate to one another. What a waste in human potential!

Does this have to be? Daniel Golemans groundbreaking book Emotional Intelligence described this waste, in detail. He argued the cause is a lack of Emotional Intelligence, or EQ as important as IQ. Only one problem: Daniel didnt tell us how to improve our EQ.

Dont despair: The Social Styles Handbook has all the how-to answers Daniel left us wondering about, in an easy to understand format. All you have to do is bring your learning attitude.

I believe that weakened or broken relationships are caused by differences in expectations. Think about that for a second now, as it relates to your own relationships at work and at home. In my case, I realized I was so stuck in meeting my expectations that I seldom considered the other persons. Ouch! My low EQ kept me from having the strong, productive relationships I wanted.

Then I discovered Social Styles, and I got better. My IQ didnt change, but I upped my EQ. I found more success and fulfillment. You can too.

So learn how to be with others by meeting their expectations, making them feel comfortable, and dealing with them on their terms. Discover Versatility and the power it brings to your relationships. Learn how to adapt your behavior to the Social Styles of people you want to relate to most.

After youve read and applied The Social Styles Handbook, youll see relationships improve and be more fulfilling, and successes come more easily. If those rewards match your expectations, you wont be disappointed. Youve already won!

Larry Wilson

Social Style and Versatility

Research and profiles of more than two million people around the world by Wilson Learning indicate that people fall into one of four Social Styles in terms of their comfort zones of behavior. Roughly 25 percent of the population falls into each group.

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.

O SCAR W ILDE

Further complicating communication, of course, is the research that shows communication the transfer of information is based only in small part on the words we use. Albert Mehrabian, professor emeritus at the University of California in Los Angeles and the author of Silent Messages: Implicit Communication of Emotions and Attitudes, determined that the effectiveness of communication is based on these three factors:

Although Mehrabians research was done back in the 1970s, this insight about the disproportional importance of tone of voice and nonverbal signals in communication still surprises many people today. Communication is far trickier than the mere passage of words from one persons lips to another persons ears. Talking is much easier than conveying message and meaning clearly.

Communication is perhaps the most complex thing humans do. It also is arguably the most critical skill for thriving and surviving in just about any situation short of being stranded alone on a desert island. Thats why the work of trying to uncover the secrets, mysteries, tips, and tactics of effective communication is an industry unto itself. A search on the Internet for Web sites and resources related to the word communication turns up 28 million hits in 0.65 seconds. Refine the search by adding the word skills and the number of hits is still 4.3 million. Searches at online booksellers Barnes and Noble and Amazon.com turn up between 35,000 and 62,000 references for books, videos and other learning materials in English.

With all the information about communication thats so readily available, and the prospects that about a million things can go wrong in even the simplest relationships, you may be worrying youll need your own Ph.D. in psychology to understand what it takes to communicate skillfully. The good news is that