Fritzi Gros-Daillon - Grace and Grit: Insights to Real-Life Challenges of Aging for Adult Children and Their Parents

Fritzis approach to sharing the stories of the people she has encountered as a professional consultant sets her work apart from many of the other books on the market today. This powerful and insightful book not only chronicles her experiences of working with the concerns and worries of adult children about ensuring their parents safety and security in their living environment, while assuring they are addressed with dignity and deference, it is also layered with practical tips and pointers embedded within the lines of each story.

I highly recommend her book for people just beginning the journey of ensuring quality eldercare for loved ones and for seasoned caregivers who may be feeling a loss of energy and strength as they continue to provide ongoing support with grace and grit. I wish this book had been a part of my library during my caregiving years.

Paulette M. Bethel, PhD, CMC, President Land On Your Feet, LLC Anywhere in the World

What a lovely book! Fritzi Gros-DaillonsGrace and Gritteaches us lessons in kindness, empathy and love. Its written with sensitivity and humor. I will gladly recommend this book to my clients who are preparing for their senior transitions.

Kathleen Mazza, President, Island Transitions, a Long Island senior move management firm

Fritzi Gros-Daillon found her voice in her new collection,Grace and Grit,where she shares her insight on aging gracefully in the new millennium. With so many options available to our aging population, her personal experiences and expertise are compassionately explored in each chapter. Her authentic narratives touch on subjects that range from the mundane necessities of packing to the delicate, emotional transformations of all the individuals involved. Her sensitive portrayals create an opportunity to have those challenging but necessary conversations with the ones we love. I can attest to Fritzs wisdom after recently moving my mother into a retirement community; it was a smooth transition with the benefit of her insights.

Jennifer Turner San Diego, California

This book is an anthology of peoples stories gathered by Fritzi to illustrate many aspects of later-life moves to assisted living. Connecting deeply with each story is easy even if neither you nor a parent is anywhere near making such a transition. No one in my direct lineage ever lived in an assisted living facility, and I myself have never needed to assist any family member in making such a transition. I have been there for others, however, and watched up close how it affects everyone on every side of the move. Clearly, Fritzi has quite a heart and comes to it with great depth of humanity.

Story after story, Fritzi touches on one aspect or another. Sometimes, the stories illustrate exceptions to the rule. It is common for family members to fight over things, but in one story, no one seems to want anything! Items the couple had hoped to pass down to their children and grandchildren are little more than trash or fodder for the donation truck to the family. A dining room set in the family for three generations just given up to be sold. Fritzi, with a great big heart, notes that these things can mean so much because we can remember our own childhood and remember raising our children with that dining room set in so many of the picturesand the great memories are ours and ours alone. Others may not have treasured memories connected to such things.

Age comes for us all. Need comes for us all. It is simple as that. Sometimes it comes slowly, and sometimes it comes upon us suddenly. If we are prepared by the simple realization that it does happen, we can be more ready for it than we otherwise would. Certainly this book is a great help to those of us who are thinking about the future, and an equally great help for those of us coping with the recent past.

Scot Conway, Ph.D., J.D. 8th Degree Black Belt Martial Arts Master Author/Speaker/Trainer

Fritzi Gros-DaillonsGrace and Gritcontinually shows her love of people, concern for people and kindness for others, will help anyone in need reading her FANtabulous book.

Judi Betts, President, Magnolia Manor Ltd., Port Jefferson, NY

Copyright 2014 Fritzi Gros-Daillon

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any format or used without the permission of the publisher.

Publishers Cataloging-In-Publication Data

(Prepared by The Donohue Group, Inc.)

Gros-Daillon, Fritzi.

Grace and grit : insights to real-life challenges of aging for adult children and their parents / Fritzi Gros-Daillon.

pages ; cm

Issued also as an ebook.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN: 978-0-9914948-0-4 (paperback)

1. Aging parentsPsychology. 2. Adult children of aging parentsPsychology. 3. Older peopleHousingPsychological aspects. 4. Moving, HouseholdPsychological aspects. 5. Life change eventsAnecdotes. I. Title.

HQ1063.6 .G76 2014

306.874

ISBN: 978-0-9914948-0-4 (paperback)

ISBN: 978-0-9914948-1-1 (e-book)

Pink Tulip Press

993C South Santa Fe Avenue, Suite 80

Vista, California 92083

www.PinkTulipPress.com

Cover Design: Anita Jones, Another Jones Graphics

Interior Design: Julie Murkette, Satya House

Printed in the United States of America

This book is joyfully dedicated to my mom my first best friend

With all my heart, I would like to acknowledge all of you who have helped bring this book to the world: to my son, Vincent, my wise, loving pillar of support; to Marilou for her masterful wordsmithing to bring the stories to life; to Audra for getting our message out; to Evelyn for her keen eye; to Sharon and her team, Anita and Julie, for making the book a reality.

And to all my dear family and friends on both coasts; these stories are yours and minethey are gifts we all shareyour love and support keep me going.

Im so worried about what to do why cant there be one place I can call to get help?

Talk to me, dont talk to my daughter!

Always rememberhe chose you!

I can still see the photographs in my mind!

Hide the painting in the elevatormy brothers coming!

So the kids dont want our stuffnow what?

I just tripped over my slipperswhats the big deal?

Everything appeared to be finewhen did these changes happen and why didnt we notice?

Shes just like her fatherexcept I could divorce him!

I cant live another day around all these old people!

Do I have to do this anymore?

Have you stopped to consider that you helped them because you couldnt be here to help your own mom?

Im so worried about what to do why cant there be one place I can call to get help?

I ts 2001 and I am stirring the gravy for the turkey I am about to serve to my husband John and a dozen of his closest friends. We started the tradition of the Harvest Party back in 1994, a year and some months after I married him. Long enough into knowing him to see the need to have one event each year to reunite friends, now mostly couples, who because of children, jobs and geography, found it difficult to see each other.

That first year, everyone arrived at our farm-ranch home on the North Shore of Long Island expecting something akin to a happy hour with beer, wine and appetizers. But I had a surprise for everyone, including my new husband, and welcomed them with a formal, full Thanksgiving dinner instead. So what might have been an hour or two of impersonal exchange turned into an entire evening of sit-down, getting reacquainted fellowship.