Laurel Starks - The House Matters in Divorce: Untangling the Legal, Financial & Emotional Ties Before You Sign On the Dotted Line

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Praise for The House Matters in Divorce

As a retired Los Angeles Superior Court Judge and family law mediator, who has handled literally hundreds of cases involving the sale of the family residence, I know that next to custodial issues with children, no other issue in divorce is fraught with as much tension, misunderstanding, and anger as the sale of the family residence. This book is a must read for all attorneys handling family home sales and should be given to all family law litigants.

Hon. MARTHA E. BELLINGER, judge retired,
author of From Robe to Robe

Laurel Starks has written an informative book on a subject that often gets ignoreduntil it hits hard: selling the family home in a divorce. In her book The House Matters in Divorce, she does a complete walk-through of the unique issues involved in selling a house at one of the worst times in a persons life, including: whether to sell, how to deal with the kids, the mortgage, a high-conflict divorce, the proceeds of sale (if any), on up to what a judge might do in court. Yet she recognizes the emotional elements and adds a lot of personal encouraging comments. Its also sprinkled with dozens of examples from her wide experience with many upset couples as a real estate agent specializing in divorce home sales. This book has been needed for quite a while. It will fill a gap for spouses who feel overwhelmed and in need of clear and simple advice from an expert who understands.

BILL EDDY, attorney, therapist, and mediator; author
of Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with
Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder

The first book of its kind, written by an industry pioneer, The House Matters in Divorce not only helps couples facing divorce, but Laurel also gives valuable insight for real estate professionals who work in these sensitive situations.

BEN KINNEY, CEO, ActiveRain; Wall Street Journal
Top 100 Realtors; author of Soci@l;
Inman News Innovator of the Year 2014

This book is a must read for anyone facing divorce and professionals who represent them. Laurel Starks has done her homework and has unprecedented experience in the field of divorce real estate. The House Matters in Divorce provides great insight into family dynamics, and unlike any other book I have seen, it addresses a deeply fundamental issue: the childrens concerns when leaving their home as a result of a divorce. The practical advice in these pages is invaluable.

ANN BINGHAM-NEWMAN, PhD,
child psychologist, professor emeritus,
California State UniversityLos Angeles

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information about the subject matters covered. It is sold with the understanding that neither the author nor the publisher are rendering legal, mental health, medical, or other professional services, either directly or indirectly. If expert assistance, legal services, or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought. Neither the author nor the publisher shall be liable or responsible for any loss or damage allegedly arising as a consequence of your use or application of any information or suggestions in this book.

Copyright 2016 by Laurel Starks

Unhooked Books, LLC

7701 E. Indian School Rd., Ste. F

Scottsdale, AZ 85251

www.unhookedbooks.com

EISBN: 978-1-936268-45-0
E-ISBN: 978-1-936268-27-6

All Rights Reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, scanned, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, or distributed in any printed or electronic form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher. Failure to comply with these terms may expose you to legal action and damages for copyright infringement.

Names and identifying information of private individuals have been changed to preserve anonymity.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016948536

Cover design by Julian Leon

Interior layout by Jeffrey Fuller

Printed in the United States of America

Contents

Foreword

M argaret Atwood has said: A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but theres less of you.

In addition to the emotional impact of losing both the dream and reality of an intact family (regardless of how dysfunctional), many divorcing couples face the reality that they no longer can live in the home they found, improved with their creativity and sweat, sacrificed to pay for, established bonds with their neighbors, live within a cherished school district, and planned to live in it until retirement or until it could be sold at the right time to fund other needs and desires.

When people separate, many fear the loss of their house/ home and that fear can fuel aggressive actions that can harm everyone in the family.

Most people going through a divorce know that they need to learn more about law from lawyers, parenting from therapists, and finances from accountants and financial advisors. With this book, Laurel Starks provides focused information about how to reduce harmful conflict and maximize life choices by learning more about most familys most valuable asset: the family home.

Laurel has earned the right to author this book. A successful real estate broker with a trained caring staff aligned with a successful national franchise, Laurel is far more than a salesperson trying to earn a commission. Trained in mediation (she excelled in both my basic and advanced mediation courses) and collaborative practice, Laurel has written this book to give divorcing parties the information and insight they need to navigate decisions about their home. Some examples include:

From a market-based perspective, how do you make a decision to sell, buy out a spouses interest, or own a house jointly?

How do handle the biggest debt in your lifeyour current mortgageand how can you get financing to stay in the housing market?

What can you expect to be deducted from your proceeds in escrow, if you do decide to sell? (Laurel lists thirteen types of deductions made from the sales price.)

And much, much more

Although I have been practicing law for over forty-two years, I found new insights and information on almost every page of this book. While reading this book has enhanced my ability to advise my clients regarding their home decisions, I will still recommend that they read The House Matters in Divorce themselves and align themselves with a real estate professional such as Laurel Starks.

Forrest (Woody) S. Mosten

Mediator, collaborative lawyer, and author

www.MostenMediation.com

CHAPTER ONE

When Reality Hits

T here is a moment in the life of anyone getting a divorce when reality hits home: This is really happening. Im getting divorced. Whether youre the one who initiated the breakup or the one on the receiving end, youll eventually face this, and it can happen anytime during the process. For some, its a jolt of the highest magnitude; for others its something thats been building for a long time, and may even come as a welcome release. You may be glad your marriage is finally over, but youll still feel the impact of that moment. It will be important then to keep your perspective: You will get through itand if you make the right choices,

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