Jenny Alden - Wedding Darling: The Essential Guide for the Detailed Bride

Copyright 2012 by Jennifer Alden Barth

Publish Green

212 3rd Ave North, Suite 290

Minneapolis, MN 55401

612.455.2293

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.

ISBN: 978-1-938297-46-5

My first walk down the aisle with Christoper Walken in Wedding Crashers

Who really knows when I started planning my wedding? The year and a half of being engaged? The four and a half years of dating my now husband, Tyler? The 30-plus weddings I attended and took copious notes at throughout my twenties? While being the bride in Wedding Crashers ? While observing my two older brothers plan their weddings? Or since I was a child, being a flower girl three different times myself? I think the safest answer is: All of the above.

Recently I was fortunate enough to have my dream wedding come to life. I am thrilled to share the incredible labor of love that went into planning my big day in the hopes that it will help guide you in your own wedding process. Please note that I live in Los Angeles and got married in Northern California, so many of my recommendations will be California-specific. That said, I still have plenty of universal tips.

In this series I will cover the following :

- Goals

- Selecting Your Venue

- Ideal Duration of Engagement

- Selecting Your Weekend

- Selecting Your Bridesmaids

- Bridal Shower

- Wedding Website

- Selecting Your Wedding Planner

- Blogs and Pinterest Boards

- Selecting a Photographer

- Selecting a Videographer

- Save-the-Dates

- Your Cycle

- Your Skin

- Your Teeth

- Wedding Dress Shopping

- Bridesmaid Dresses

- Music and Entertainment

- Bachelorette Weekend

- Prenups

- Food and Food Service

- Groom's Cake/ Surprise

- Gifts For Your Bridesmaids

- Comfort Items For Your Guests

- Welcome Bags For Your Guests

- Seating Arrangements

- Stress and Freak Outs

- To Change or Not To Change Your Last Name

- Bride's Entrance

- Toasts

- The Pay Off

- Shit Happens

- Perspective and Priorities

- Honeymoon

- Recap of Websites

Note: All blue words that you will see are clickable hyperlinks.

All right brides, let the journey begin!

Yay! This was me when I finally found my dress.

My now husband is a well loved person who is known for throwing great parties and providing memorable events for his network of friends. With this fact in mind, it was key for us to not simply have a formal wedding, but rather to have a balls-out Celebration. Our friends expected nothing less from us. We knew we'd have rock stars tearing up the dance floor into the wee hours - and we did. When the last buses left at 3 a.m. there were still 60 of us who could have danced until the sun came up. Two things my husband really cared about: the music and the food. Me? Everything. I cared about everything.

What are your Goals for the big day? Envision your ideal event unfolding and pinpoint the key aspects that you want to prioritize in your budget and planning.

Yep, that's my husband in full form!

Selecting your venue is the first key decision you must make that will set the tone and feel of your wedding.

Now let the tiffs begin! You want an intimate affair, he wants to invite every person he's every met. You want to get married on a farm and he wants to get married in the city. And let's not forget budget talks!

Oy- sorry to burst your bubble, but not even that sparkly ring will outshine these inevitable discussions. But pucker up, you're the bride so ultimately, you should get your way... right!? Welllll, yes, but it takes a little maneuvering. Make him feel important and like it's his decision too. This is a skill set that will surely save you throughout your marriage anyway: decide what you want, then let him come to the realization that this is the right choice. ;-)

It can be tricky, but patience and love are the way to go, not indignant declarations and fits.

Alden Park Vineyards, Where we tied the knot!

For me, one and a half years was the perfect duration for my engagement.

This length of time ensures that the Detailed Bride gets everything she wants, as she will have the first pick of venue, band, DJ, caterer, officiant, photographer, etc, etc. It allows the Detailed Bride to play in her sandbox of ideas, build some castles and knock them down, only to create even better ones. It also allows time for your relationship to grow, for you and your partner to mentally adjust to the next phase, or even move in together. It allows for icky but important things, like a prenup or counseling, should you decide to pursue either/or. Finally, it allows for you to plan everything so thoroughly that by the time it is the week of your wedding, you will be so relaxed and easy-breasy, you won't have a care in the world. I think I was officially the most chill bride ever. For better or worse, my heart barely skipped a beat that day. I was calm, cool and composed, while my darling husband was a shaking, giddy boy with tears. :)

When shall this ring get its mate!?

Ok, call me crazy, but if you're a Detailed Bride, you might be with me on this one (that, or you'll think I'm totally nuts). You want the stars to be aligned for your perfect day.

Um, literally.

So I did a few things to make sure that we had an auspicious wedding weekend. First, I went to an astrology wedding website to see how the stars, moon, etc. were all aligned on certain weekends, given our birthdays. Mercury was in Retrograde for months before our big day. I knew there was NO way we could get married then - a time when things historically go haywire. And I was right - those few months seemed almost apocalyptic with riots in London, hurricanes on the East Coast, dust storms in Arizona, etc. Fewf. Glad to have avoided those potential pitfalls!

I then consulted a numerologist to see which of the weekends I had narrowed it down to would be best. No joke, the numerologist got tears in his eyes when he looked at September 17th - our wedding weekend. He was moved by what he was seeing in the numbers and said it would be a powerful day for us. Done and Done. And it really was.

Other things to consider: major sporting events and the weather. For a brief moment we wanted to get married over Memorial Day weekend. But the previous year, the Lakers were in the playoffs that weekend and all Tyler could live, breathe, eat and think about was the Lakers. There's NO way we could have married while any of his major teams were in a play-off situation like that. So we tried to select a pretty sports-free weekend. Trust me, I've been to weddings were the attendants are checking their phones the whole ceremony to see what the scores are. You don't want that at your wedding.