Erika V. Shearin Karres - Violence Proof Your Kids Now: How to Recognize the 8 Warning Signs and What to Do About Them, For Parents, Teachers, and other Concerned Caregivers

Praise for Violence Proof Your Kids Now

Violence Proof Your Kids Now is an exceptional book for any adult who has an interest in clearing out the destructive voice of violence currently inhabiting the lives of our nation's youth.

Bettina Ann Grahek, M.S.A., Assistant Principal, West Montgomery High School, Mt. Gilead, North Carolina

An insightful, interesting, and important book, one that powerfully suggests numerous practical strategies to a variety of different members of our present society, people who want to make the violence-proof concept of kids a reality.

Dr. William S. Palmer, Professor, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

During thirty-six years of teaching I have been dismayed to see young people become more accepting of violence in their lives as normal. The usual solutions presented are restricted either to stiffening legal penalties or giving more emotional involvement. Erika Karres takes a giant step beyond by supplementing these with multiple practical actions to counter the tragedy of our children's rising susceptibility to violence.

Jim Jackson, M.S. Ed., teacher, Orange County, North Carolina

This intriguing book is a must read for parents, educators, and every community member who is truly involved in the life of today's youth.

Freddie McNeil, M.A., Dean of Students, Orange High School, Hillsborough, North Carolina

In more than four decades as a priest-educator, I have reviewed more than 200 books on how to deal with varying problems. This book is the best I have ever read. Erika Karres takes a common-sense approach to the problem, recognizing that the whole community is involved seven days a week.

Rev. Father Virgil Miller (ret), PNCC (Polish National Catholic Church), Fayetteville, North Carolina

This timely guidebook will assist teachers, administrators, and parents with workable solutions that can help produce immediate and positive results for families, classrooms, and schools. Principles should consider giving this publication to all of their students' parents.

Dr. N. Andrew Overstreet, Superintendent of Schools, Danville, Virginia

Copyright 2000 by Erika V. Shearin Karres

All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations in critical articles or reviews. For information, contact: Conari Press, 2550 Ninth Street, Suite 101, Berkeley, CA 94710-2551.

Conari Press books are distributed by Publishers Group West.

ISBN: 1-57324-514-3

Cover and Book Design: Suzanne Albertson

Cover Photography: The Image Bank, Steven Satushek

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA

Karres, Erika V. Shearin.

Violence-proof your kids now : how to recognize the 8 warning signs and what to do about them / Erika V. Karres.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN 1-57324-514-3

1. Children and violenceUnited StatesPrevention. 2. Violence in childrenUnited StatesPrevention. 3. School violenceUnited StatesPrevention. 4. Problem youthUnited StatesPsychology. 5. Problem ChildrenUnited StatesPsychology. 6. Parent and ChildUnited States. 7. Child rearingUnited States. I. Title.

HQ784.V55K375 2000

00-029498

303.6083dc21

Printed in the United States of America on recycled paper.

00 01 02 03 TS 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

This book is for

my daughters,

Elizabeth Shearin Hounshell

and Dr. Mary D. Shearin

And my husband, Andrew Matthew Karres

And for all parents, child caretakers, grandparents, neighbors, teachers, coaches, and church, synagogue, and community leaders who are determined to win the battle over youth violence

And for all the Crystals and Kevins in this country.

They're great kids and deserve to grow up in peace.

Foreword by Diane Loomans, author of The Laughing Classroom and Full Esteem Ahead

All children are born into this world innocent. As they grow up, they are profoundly influenced by their families, friends, teachers, and communities, as well as by TV, movies, music, and the Internet. Given the bombardment of images and messages, many of which are violent, that kids receive from the media at very young ages, how do we protect our children? How do we keep them safe from the negative influences that they are exposed to from their peers as well as from the world? We cannot keep them in a cocoon forever.

In addition to the challenges of living in an increasingly violent society, our lives are busier than they have ever been. Millions of parents are divorced or are working longer hours to make ends meet, and more children are coming home after school to empty houses. Children are witnessing direct acts of violence in their neighborhoods and communities, and many are frightened of being shot or hurt at their own schools. What can be done to ensure that our children are safe, and are raised with the loving, consistent guidance that they need? There are solutions to these very real concerns, and this book offers a wealth of practical, hands-on tools and skills to address these issues.

Erika Karres uses her thirty years of experience as a parent, teacher, community member, and nationally recognized school violence expert to identify eight warning signs of violent behavior and to provide seventy-seven practical suggestions for combatting them. As she points out, it is important to recognize the signs of violence not only in your own children, but also in their friends and in the children within your community and schools as well.

Connection and involvement on all levels, from everyone in a child's life, is a primary key. Children must have a strong sense of home and community, know that they are loved and appreciated, and be provided with consistent, positive mentorship and guidance. When we provide these things, we infuse our children with dignity, self-esteem, and compassion, so that they will be less prone to commit violent acts against themselves and others. Erika points out that perhaps just one person could have stopped the tragedy at Columbine.

Our nation's children are our most valuable resource. This is a universal calling in this new century: to be fully involved, alert, and connected to the children in our lives so that we can ensure that the tragedies that happened at Jonesboro, Paducah, and Littleton never happen again. This book is a call to action, and needs to be read by every parent, teacher, and concerned caregiver. Please read it carefully, and then pass it along to another person who has a role in a child's life. Do it for yourself. Do it for the world. And most important, do it for the precious children in your life.

T he era of World War II was the most violent time known to modern man. More than 50 million people lost their lives during the war and the events that led up to it. Twenty million of them were deliberately and cold-bloodedly murdered by the Nazi regime. Six million of them were Jews who were especially targeted by Adolf Hitler and his henchmen.

Whoosh! Twenty million lives were extinguished like candles blown out. Like many other people, I often wonder how the world would be different today had they lived. Would cancer be history by now? Would a cure for AIDS have already been discovered? What other serious illnesses would have been eradicated forever? What immense genius, what kindness, what creativity have we lost? How many more Mother Teresas would we have had? How many more Einsteins? How many more Menuhins? How many more Nobel Peace Prize winners?