Erika V. Shearin Karres - Crushes, Flirts, And Friends: A Real Girls Guide to Boy Smarts

Crushes,
Flirts, &
Friends

A Real Girl's Guide to Boy Smarts

Erika V. Shearin Karres, Ed.D.

Adams Media
Avon, Massachusetts

Copyright 2006 Erika V. Shearin Karres.
All rights reserved. This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher; exceptions are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

Published by Adams Media,
an F+W Publications Company
57 Littlefield Street
Avon, MA 02322
www.adamsmedia.com

ISBN: 1-59337-363-5

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Karres, Erika V. Shearin.
Crushes, flirts, and friends : a real girl's guide to boy smarts /
By Erika V. Shearin Karres.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 1-59337-363-5 (alk. paper)
1. Teenage girlsLife skills guidesJuvenile literature.
2. Teenage boysPsychologyJuvenile literature.
3. Interpersonal relations in adolescenceJuvenile literature. I. Title.
HQ798.K352 2005
306.73'0835'2dc22
2005021912

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.

From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a
Committee of the American Bar Association and
a Committee of Publishers and Associations

Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their product are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters.

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Dedication

This book is for Elizabeth S. Hounshell and Dr. Mary D. Shearin, my dear daughters, and for Andrew M. Karres, my devoted husband, with all my love and thanks.

Also for June Clark, super agent and mentor.

And for Bridget Brace, a most talented and gifted editor. She knows how to weave raw research material into rad reading material. Thank you so much, Bridget Brace! And for Danielle Chiotti, outstanding editor and earthmover. Not only is Danielle a visionary, but she's also a roll-up-her-sleeves shaker who turns visions into realities. With this book, she helps to empower all the girls in the world to master the relating and dating ABCs before they make a huge mistake. So on behalf of girls everywhere now and in the future, thank you, Danielle Chiotti! You're our role and soul model. And for Meredith O'Hayre who always does her best.

Acknowledgments

A very special thanks to all the girls who participated in my research and to my thoughtful teen readers, reviewers, advisers, and real-life experts. And to their parents.

And to Laura O'Brien, an extraordinary educator, and to A.J. Gregory, an inspirational writer. Both Laura and A.J. work hard every day to improve the world.

And to the numerous teachers who offered input and helped gather materials on this most important topic. Now your hard work lives on not only in the academic achievements of your students, but also in the sound decisions and smart life choices your pupils will make.

As a result, you not only touch the future, but also teach and form it.

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

Hey There, Girl!

Congratulations to you because you're lucky, smart, and on your way to the top! And you know what? Now you're really advancing, from this moment on, because you're about to get into the most important topic of your life. And as you do, you'll move straight to the head of your peers and other girls, too. Flat-out zoom right on up there, no matter what your grade was on the last history quiz. And never mind that your homework assignment in Spanish wasn't perfect for once. You rushed through it, but so what? You're not going to worry about that now, because you're into a subject for real life: Boys!

You've already learned to face certain obstacles head-on, be they mean girls or nasty cliquesas you've read in Mean Chicks, Cliques, and Dirty Tricks. And with the help of your girlfriends (detailed for you in Fab Friends and Best Buds), you can and have overcome obstacles, and you are stronger than ever. But the world of boys will bring you many more obstacles, and a lot of them are hidden like icebergs. Boys can be like a minefield, or a mind- field; watch out! Yeah, it's the whole guy world that's so confusing, mind-boggling, and treacherous. Fact is, suddenly you are swimming in this vast ocean of guys. Here a boy, there a boy, everywhere boys! You can't escape them, but you don't want to, actually: You are interested in boys.

I really, really, really want a boyfriend badhow can I get one? Tell me the secrets to boys, please. Angie, 14

Or maybe you don't want much or even anything to do with guys at the moment. You just don't feel ready for the hassles you've heard boys can create.

I don't want a boyfriend. They're nothing but a pain in the butt. Spare me, okay? Lisa Kim, 14

But you can't avoid boys, no matter how hard you try And you don't have the slightest idea of how to deal with this whole new world of 'em! Your friends are no helpthey are just as clueless as you. How can you tell which boys are second-look worthy and which are not?

The diff between having a nice boyfriend and bum boyfriend is like the diff between life and death. Trust me. Cara, 16

Being able to judge boys is crucial. How can you avoid the lurking icebergs, the way deep ditches, the sudden sinkholes? Boys don't come labeled with warning signs. And they sure don't come with an expiration date like peach yogurt does.

Did you know that a lot of boys act so sugar-sweet, but only till you go along with whatever they want, then they drop you like used Kleenex? Be x-tra careful. Maria Rosa, 15

Fact is, there are wonderful boysway wonderful ones. But some boys, you need to be extra careful around. This book is going to tell you about the different kinds of boys you'll run into, and whether you should run or stick around.

I need help finding out what boys are good and what are hoods. Waverly, 14

When you have a problem, you don't just sit there and feel sorry for yourself. No way, you do something! That's why you picked up this bookthe girl's guide you need to direct you around the icebergs and the reefs and shallows in the ocean of guys that you find yourself engulfed in. You're going to learn about:

The six main types of boys

How you can quickly and easily tell the good guys from the bad guys

How to avoid those bad guys and meet nothing but the good ones

When you know the secret ins and outs of the guy world, you know it all. Blair, 15

What you learn now about boys will help you for the rest of your life.

Why won't anybody tell me the honest truth about boys, boyfriends, and relationships? Ciella, 14

Don't worry, this book tells the truth, the whole truth, and nothin' but the truth!

Help! I'm on the honor roll in school but flunking the birds and the bees. Not! I know all about that stuff but know nothing about relating and dating. Hillary, 15