Peggy Morrison Horan is a thirty-five-year practitioner and teacher of Esalen Massage, student of yoga and movement, and retired midwife. She coproduced the Esalen Massage Video in 1996 and was one of the founders of the Esalen Massage School. She managed the Massage Department at Esalen for many years before retiring from management in 2004. She still practices and teaches there.
Foreword writer Gabrielle Roth is the creator of the Five-Rhythms Movement Meditation Practice. She is a theater director and the author of Maps to Ecstacy: The Healing Power of Movement.
In Peggy Horans inspired hands, Esalen massage becomes a true practice in the spiritual sense, based on intimate connections between people. Read this book for both the how and the deeper why behind the techniques, and experience the wonder for yourself.
Gordon Wheeler, Ph.D., president and CEO of the Esalen Institute and author of Beyond Individualism: A New Perspective on Self, Relationship, and Experience
Touch is its own, unique form of communication, which can foster genuine understanding between partners in ways that words alone cannot. For more than thirty years, I have been dazzled by Peggy Horans extraordinary talents and sensitivities. She is truly one of the great living masters of the art of massage. In Connecting Through Touch, she does a superb job of capturing all of the ways in which touch can comfort, stimulate, bridge gaps, and heal. I have every confidence that this book will enrich the relationships of anyone who reads it.
Ken Dychtwald, Ph.D., author of Bodymind, The Age Wave, and The Power Years
Dont miss this sophisticated, accurate, delightful approach to bodywork.
Jack Lee Rosenberg, DDS, Ph.D., founder and director of Integrative Body Psycho therapy in Venice, CA
For many in the Esalen Community, touch was the first door to self-discovery. In this book, Peggy Horan leads us into the wonderful world of touch. You couldnt find a better guide.
Christine Price, teacher at and long-time resident of the Esalen Institute
Some aspects of a relationship lie deeper than words. Peggy Horan rolls together our human needs for pleasure, communication, and well-being in this practical guide for couples massage. Couples can strengthen their partnerships as well as get rid of those achy back pains by giving each other massages with these principles in mind. Our divorce rate could plummet!
Brita Orstrom, LMFT, a founder of the Esalen Massage School and family therapist with a background in somatic, body-based psychotherapy
Publishers Note
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial,legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.
Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books
Copyright 2007 by Peggy Morrison Horan
New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
5674 Shattuck Avenue
Oakland, CA 94609
www.newharbinger.com
Cover and text design by Amy Shoup and Sara Christian;
Large cover image by George Doyle/Stockbyte/Getty Images; Other cover images by Brock Bradford; Interior images by Brock Bradford
Acquired by Jess OBrien; Edited by Jess Beebe
All Rights Reserved. Printed in the United States of America.
Epub ISBN-13: 978-1-60882-744-2
______________________________________________________________________
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Horan, Peggy Morrison.
Connecting through touch : the couples massage book / Peggy Morrison Horan.
p. cm.
ISBN-13: 978-1-57224-502-0 (pbk. : alk. paper)
ISBN-10: 1-57224-502-6 (pbk. : alk. paper)
1. Massage. 2. Couples. I. Title.
RA780.5.H67 2007
615.822--dc22
2007044741
dedication
This book is dedicated to my husband, Richard: my life partner, my first masseur, and the one who still gives me the best backrub in the world.
Contents
Acknowledgements
My biggest thanks go to Esalen Institute for its dedication to making a better world, one human heart at a time. My thanks for being there and gently cradling me as I grew and learned and developed in ways I never imagined. My appreciation goes to all of my inspired teachers and fellow practitioners at Esalen, where we have been blessed to work together for almost four decades at the sacred waters where the art of Esalen massage was created.
In addition, I thank the good people at New Harbinger: Jess OBrien, Jess Beebe, and Amy Shoup, as well as the many others whom I never met but who contributed time and energy to this project.
And finally, my thanks to my daughters: Jasmine, for your tireless editing of my early ramblings, and Lucia and partner Carsten Hunter, for being my beautiful models.
Foreword
My first massage, in my early twenties, was memorable in that I had no idea how to simply lie back and receive it. It was truly overwhelming to feel my body melting into a pair of strange hands. Thoughts like Shouldnt I say or do something or get up right now and pull myself together were floating through my head. As hard as I resisted surrendering, I finally fell all the way down to the bottom of myself, and nothing had ever felt so good.
Im not sure I would be sitting here today without the ten thousand massages that I have experienced since then. They have moved me through the highs and lows that organically come with life: the losses, the celebrations, the disappointments, and the stresses, as well as the ordinary plateaus of contentment or boredom. Massage has been my vehicle of resurrection and renewal. It has helped me to see the dreams trapped in my thighs, to feel the breaths held hostage in my belly, to sense the memories etched into the soles of my feet. And all I have to do is stay present and follow the hands, like guides, through the wilderness of my body, back to my most essential self.
And I am still learning to let go (to this day, my right arm resists giving in to anothers will), to relax, to feel the ecstatic bliss of being an embodied spirit. For Westerners, this is a lifelong mission. Many of us have been totally disconnected from the cathedral of our own bones and banished from the inner sanctum of our own body, often unwittingly by those whom we love. Reclaiming the body is as political a statement as it is personal. As we do this, we are also reclaiming the power and beauty of our sweet planet Earth. One does not exist without the other.
It has been my blessing to be on the receiving end of many massages with my dear friend and colleague, Peggy Horan. Every practitioner has a style. In my experience, Peggy is the queen of flow, one stroke blending seamlessly into the next, creating a continuous roll of rhythm calling me to take refuge deep within myself. Over the years, her dedication to her practice has exposed her to techniques from all over the world. She has integrated much body wisdom into her hands, into her heart, and now, through her words, into our hands and hearts.
Peggys book represents the next leg on our journey. Now is the time to integrate massage into our homes, into our bedrooms, and into our relationships with our loved ones. I remember a fifteen-year-old boy who participated in my massage workshop because he wanted to learn how to massage his grandmothers aching feet. Recently, a cabdriver in Manhattan hit a bicyclist across the street from a medical conference I was attending. A massage practitioner grabbed her essential oils and ran out to give whatever she could to both freaked-out men. One of the cops who arrived on the scene said, Wow, come with us, we need you! Sometimes massaging a shoulder or a neck speaks louder than all the words we can muster, to say,
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