Melinda L. Roberts - 42 Rules for Divorcing with Children. Doing It with Dignity & Grace While Raising Happy, Healthy, Well-Adjusted...

Doing It with Dignity & Grace While Raising Happy, Healthy, Well-Adjusted Children

By Melinda Roberts

Foreword by Heather Armstrong

E-mail:
20660 Stevens Creek Blvd., Suite 210
Cupertino, CA 95014

Copyright 2012 by Melinda Roberts

All rights reserved. No part of this book shall be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without written permission from the publisher.

Published by Super Star Press, a Happy About imprint 20660 Stevens Creek Blvd., Suite 210, Cupertino, CA 95014

http://42rules.com

First Printing: September 2012

Paperback ISBN: : 978-1-60773-072-9 (1-60773-072-3)
eBook ISBN: 978-1-60773-073-6 (1-60773-073-1)
Place of Publication: Silicon Valley, California, USA
Library of Congress Number: 2012947212

Trademarks

All terms mentioned in this book that are known to be trademarks or service marks have been appropriately capitalized. Happy About, nor any of its imprints, cannot attest to the accuracy of this information. Use of a term in this book should not be regarded as affecting the validity of any trademark or service mark.

Warning and Disclaimer

Every effort has been made to make this book as complete and as accurate as possible. The information provided is on an as is basis. The author(s), publisher, and its agents assume no responsibility for errors or omissions nor assume liability or responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss or damages arising from the use of information contained herein.

Praise For This Book!

What I wish my parents had known when they got divorced (twice.)

Casey Mullins (http://mooshinindy.com)

In her compulsively readable book, Mindy Roberts deconstructs the myth that couples with children can truly get divorced. With humor and insight, Mindy explains why remaining a family after divorce is crucial for the well-being of the children, and provides practical tips for reconfiguring post-divorce families. Every divorcing couple, or any couple contemplating divorce, should read this book.

Virginia Gilbert, MA, MFT, Specializing in High-Conflict Divorce, and HuffPost Divorce Blogger
(http://www.virginiagilbertmft.com)

In 42 Rules for Divorcing with Children, the author, Melinda Roberts, addresses some of the most significant issues divorcing parents face. Her rules are offered with compassion and understanding along with real-world advice that can be immediately put to use. This is a smart guide that I recommend to any parents who want to avoid the heartbreaking mistakes too often made when divorce divides a family!

Rosalind Sedacca, Founder, Child-Centered Divorce Network
(http://www.childcentereddivorce.com)

Mindy Roberts's book is a must read for anyone with children who is in the initial stages of a separation, currently separated, or divorced, or even those who are engaged in high-conflict co-parenting. Mindy's take on what to expect and how to realistically manage these situations by keeping your eyes on the prizehappy, healthy, adjusted childrenwill help keep you sane and smiling. The marker of success is not how we handle things when they are working, it's how we handle things when they fall apart. You are not alone, and keeping this handy book beside you will help you find the success you're looking forno matter how hopeless you might think things may be!

Diane Holcombe, RN, Life and Wellness Coach Supporting You Through Transitions
(http://www.clarifyyou.com)

If you don't think you need 42 Rules for Divorcing with Children, you're dead wrong. If you're not getting a divorce, your best friend, coworker, sibling, or even your mom will be, and they'll need the 42 Rules to help them through it successfully. So go out, buy half a dozen copies of Mindy's book, and hand your divorcing friends and relatives 42 Rules for Divorcing with Children along with your sympathies and the phone number of a good divorce lawyer.

Anne-Marie Nichols, publisher of This Mama Cooks! On a Diet
(http://www.thismamacooks.com/)

Mindy Roberts's 42 Rules for Divorcing with Children is an honest and thoughtful book on a difficult and painful topic. It's chock full of humor and insightful advice on how to divorce with dignity and grace, while doing the best by your children to build a better life going forward for the family that was and is to come.

Mindy's advice and information are also helpful for family members who are on the sidelines of those going through the process and those evaluating their current relationships.

What especially resonated with me was the repeating message to release resentment and move forward with empathy and hope. To me, that acknowledges all the seething mess of bad feelings and encourages channeling it into refocusing on the life you want to live forward.

Jeanne-Marie Jasko

Epigraph

When you tell your kids you're getting divorced, hand them cupcakes first.

Daphne Roberts, Age Ten

Dedication

These rules are dedicated to my children above all, whose willingness to let me into their worlds helps to keep mine centered, safe, and loving.

I also thank my husband, Steven, who taught me as much about divorcing with dignity as my own mother did, and that's saying something.

To my mother, my rock: my appreciation and gratitude are always implicit, and can never be expressed often enough!

Special thanks to my ex-husband, Gil for being the father of my children and for always, always being there and loving them to infinity plus one. He is their OP.

Acknowledgments

As names in this book have been changed to protect, well, everyone, I'm unable to thank most of the people whose input I valued. Fortunately, not naming names is handy in the event that I might have forgotten to mention someone very, very important. Therefore, please assume that it is YOU I'm thanking: for your support, contributions, trust, selflessness, humor in the face of disaster, and epic divorce stories.

Leaving out my mother is career-limiting at best and dangerous at worst. So I hereby acknowledge that I could not have written this book without the help of my mother, Patricia Lorimer Lundberg, PhD, Professor of English and Women's Studies; CEO, poet and editor; and the best role model a young, terrified, divorced mom could have. Thanks, Mom: You've taught your (and my) children well.