Gary Rosberg - 40 Unforgettable Dates with Your Mate

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40 Unforgettable Dates with Your Mate

Copyright 2002 by Gary and Barbara Rosberg. All rights reserved.

Cover photograph copyright 2001 by Michael Hudson. All rights reserved.

Authors photo copyright 2004 by Martha J. Dameron Photography. All rights reserved.

Published in association with the literary agency of Alive Communications, Inc., 7680 Goddard Street, Suite 200, Colorado Springs, CO 80920.

Some discussion questions in this book are adapted from Were Finally AloneNow What Do We Do? by Greg Johnson (Tyndale House, 1996). Used by permission.

Three dates in chapter 11 are adapted from the game Simply Romantic Nights (FamilyLife, 2000) by Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Gary and Barbara Rosberg, and others. To obtain the game, contact FamilyLife Ministries at www.familylife.com or (888)FL-TODAY.

Designed by Kelly Bennema

Edited by Lynn Vanderzalm

Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible , New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The names and some of the details in the illustrations used in this book have been changed to protect the privacy of the people who shared their stories with us.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Rosberg, Gary, date.

40 unforgettable dates with your mate / Gary and Barbara Rosberg, with Tom and Linda Taylor.

p. cm.

title: Forty unforgettable dates with your mate.

ISBN 978-0-8423-6106-4 (sc)

1. Marriage. 2. Dating (Social customs) 3. MarriageReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Title: Forty unforgettabe dates with your mate. II. Rosberg, Barbara. III. Taylor, Tom. IV. Taylor, Linda. V. Title.

HQ734 .R755 2002

306.81dc21 2002001873

To our parents

Thank you for loving each other for a lifetime.

It is the greatest gift you gave to your children.

To Sarah and Scott

Drink this up, and celebrate your marriage.

We are crazy about you two!

To Missy

Your passion for Jesus inspires us daily.

Guard your heart, honey. You are terrific!

To Mason, our grandson

Someday this will make sense to you,

but right now lets get you through diapers!

We love you all.

Acknowledgments

Our passion is writing books that make a difference:

For you and your marriage;

For your family;

For your relationships;

And primarily for the glory of God.

In the past we have tackled resolving conflict and granting forgiveness (Dr. Rosbergs Do-It-Yourself Relationship Mender), maintaining moral purity (Guard Your Heart), strengthening marital communication (Improving Communication in Your Marriage), and learning and seeking to meet your spouses love needs (The Five Love Needs of Men and Women). Soon we will be launching a multiyear campaign to challenge the church, culture, and you to divorce-proof Americas marriagesfor the sake of the next generation.

Yet in the midst of writing these challenging and life-changing books, we concluded that we wanted to come up for air with you, our readers, and equip you to celebrate dating your mate. Over the last several years we have done a series of conferences entitled Date with a Purpose and wanted to put in writing our ideas to expand that concept from a conference to a book that could strengthen marriages and relationships beyond our conferences. Hence the idea for this book. We wanted to give you ideas and a strategy to zero in on the needs of your mate and celebrate the love of your life. And we didnt do it alone.

This book is the idea of our agent, Greg Johnson, from Alive Communications. He also has contributed to the book with discussion questions from a book he wrote several years ago. Thank you, Greg, for the vision and, again, for introducing us to Ron Beers and Tyndale House Publishers. We are forever grateful.

Speaking of Tyndale House, we want to thank you for teaming up with us to make a difference in marriages in America and beyond. Ron Beers, Ken Petersen, and Team Tyndale are the best in the publishing industry. Bar none. Your integrity, passion, and commitment to excellence set the bar in Christian publishing. In addition, we love you all as friends. We want to honor God and you in all of our books and are thrilled to team with you to minister to our readers. Our special thanks, again, to Lynn Vanderzalm for sweetening this manuscript. She is not only an extraordinary wordsmith and editor but a dear friend as well. Thanks also to Kelly Bennema for a great cover design.

It is our joy to welcome Tom and Linda Taylor to our publishing team for this book. This gracious couple developed our date with a purpose idea and helped us craft the manuscript into what you see today. It was a delight to have a couple who, like us, celebrate marriage and the importance of dating your mate. Thank you for your passion and investment in this book. We pray couples will reach new levels of celebration because of your efforts.

We not only celebrate our publishing team, but we also want to honor our home team. To the entire ministry team at Americas Family Coaches: Bless you. Your commitment to serving the Lord and us equips us to keep our passion for publishing life-changing and equipping books a priority. We couldnt do what we do if you didnt so effectively help us with our daily radio programs, national conferences, and the weekly CrossTrainers mens ministry. We appreciate you all more than you know.

And finally, thanks to the best family on earth. We are so thankful to our kids for being the real deal and living lives that glorify Christ in public and, more important, in private. What an honor to be your mom and dad. Sarah and Scott, you are such a delight. We pray this book encourages you in your marriage to celebrate each other for life. Missy, your passion for Jesus inspires us beyond your wildest imagination. Stay the course, honey. And Mason, our new grandson, someday you will read this as you learn to date your wife. Honor her, cherish her, and love her unconditionally, Grandson. Its worked for your grandparents, and we believe it will work for you! We deeply love you.

Gary and Barb Rosberg

Chapter One

Sweaty Palms and ButterfliesGoing on a Date!

You remember what it was like, dont youway back when. Back when you were in high school or college and dating was what you did as a social activity and as a way to discover that special person. Back when your inexperience and immaturity made for all kinds of difficulty in going through the dating rituals.

Guys, remember how it was? You spotted that girl and were keeping an eye on her for some time. You watched her at school, in class, in other activities. You thought her hair and clothes were really nice; she had a pretty face; she seemed friendly. Your radar was tuned to her frequency. When she entered a room, you just knew it and would turn to notice, and watch. You began to move in a bit closer. Sat at the same table. Tried for a bit of conversation. You battled with all the inner doubts and questions. Would she even give you the time of day? Would she think you were a geek? Did you look (and smell) all right? Then you decided to ask her out. Your palms sweat. How were you going to make sure she would say yes? Or, if she said no, how would you make sure it caused minimal damage to your fragile self-esteem?