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Polingaysi Qoyawayma - No Turning Back : A Hopi Indian Womans Struggle to Live in Two Worlds

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This is the story of the Hopi woman who chose in her early youth to live in the white man???s world. She became known as Elizabeth Q. White. Born at Old Oraibi, Arizona, she was of the first Hopi children to be educated in white schools. Later she was the first Hopi to become a teacher in those schools. Here her biographer records Qoyowayma???s break with the traditions of her people and her struggle to gain acceptance for her radical teaching methods.Throughout her life this remarkable woman has held to the best in Hopi culture and has fought to maintain it in the lives of her students. Her story, rich in information on Hopi legend and ceremony, is a moving introduction to the Hopi way of life.

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Page i
No Turning Back
Page ii
Polingaysi shaping pottery at Flagstaff in 1957 Page iii No - photo 2
Polingaysi shaping pottery at Flagstaff in 1957
Page iii
No Turning Back
A True Account Of A Hopi Indian Girl's Struggle
To Bridge The Gap Between The World Of Her People
And The World Of The White Man
by Polingaysi Qoyawayma
(Elizabeth Q. White)
as told to Vada F. Carlson
THE UNIVERSITY OF NEW MEXICO PRESS
ALBUQUERQUE
Page iv
1964, 1992 by the University of New Mexico Press
All rights reserved.
Manufactured in the United States of America
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number 64-7652
International Standard Book Number 0-8263-0439-7
Tenth paperbound printing, 1999
Page v
Foreword
Visiting writers, anthropologists, archeologists, and other friends have insisted for years that it was my duty as an articulate Hopi to tell the world something of my cultural background and my long struggle to span the great and terrifying chasm between my Hopi world and the world of the white man.
Not until the publication a few years ago of a book that defamed the character of the Hopis as a nation, however, was I jolted out of my complacency and into full realization of my responsibility.
Hopi people are exceedingly sensitive to ridicule, and I am no exception to this rule. It has been a ball and chain, preventing me from expressing myself, especially along the line of my painful experiences as a pioneer in Indian education, both as a student and as a teacher.
Now I realize that white people cannot know the truth of the situation unless someone makes it known to them. I also know that a great deal of misinformation that one sees in print is as much the fault of the Hopi informant as of the white writer. In my own experience I have had three different answers to the same question from three different Hopis. This is not to say that each was not convinced that he was telling the truth. It was merely that they were of different ages and from different villages, where rituals varied.
Page vi
I accept the reasoning of my white friends. They say that I am a good example of what takes place when a person is uprooted and forced to adjust to a new way of life, because I was an ordinary Hopi child at the time education was brought to us through the white man's schools, and because I had only limited experience with white people. (As a family we had known the white Voth family, who came to our village of Oraibi in 1893, when according to my officially determined birthdate I was only one year old.)
Also, they point out, my experience was typical of Indian children of my era and, to a less drastic degree, of Indian children of today. They also argue that because I continued in the educational field, facing problems of bringing Indian beginners into conventional school procedures, I should be more than ordinarily capable of understanding their problems.
It has been painful to recall my long-drawn-out struggle in living. Many of the episodes, buried deeply, emerged slowly. However, now that the effort has been made, I am grateful to my good friends who insisted that this account be written. I am especially grateful to Miss Marion Bowen, and to my biographer, Mrs. Vada F. Carlson, who has had the patience and skill to weld my reminiscences into manuscript form.
My grandmother, prophetic woman that she was, used to say: "It is to members of Coyote Clan that Bahana [white man] will come, within your day, Polingaysi, or within the day of your seed, and you of Coyote Clan will be a bond between the Bahana and the Hopi people." I am Indian enough at heart to believe that her prophecy has been fulfilled.
Picture 3
POLINGAYSI QOYAWAYMA
Page 1
One
The small, brown-skinned woman in the red dress stopped her car in the desert valley and, getting out into the hot sunshine of early autumn, lifted black eyes to the ruins of the ancient village of old Oraibi, once many-storied and proud, a stronghold of the Hopi Indian nation.
Her face, broad and strong-featured and remarkably unlined in spite of the fullness of her years, gave no hint of the emotion welling up in her. Only a sudden glint of tears and the lifting of one hand to her constricted throat told her heartache, her indecision and confusion.
"That is my home."
She murmured the words lovingly, her gaze noting the uneven line the falling stone houses made against the blue sky. "Yes," she thought, "in that place of ruins is the evidence of my beginning. My roots are there. A part of me is there still, in the old home of my parents, in the hill house of my grandmother, in the very dust that whispers in the streets where I played so long ago. Is that where I belong, now?"
As though stirred into action by the intensity of her thought, a whirlwind formed lazily in the sand dunes bordering the valley road. Carrying its load of dust, it spun upward and came swirling and dipping toward her.
Page 2
She held out her hands to it.
"Yes ? Tell me, tell me," she said.
But the eddy disintegrated, the dust returned to the desert floor. A fringe of the whirlwind lifted her black bangs, square-cut in Hopi fashion across her forehead. Her skirt fluttered around her legs. But if a spirit of her ancestors moved in the whirlwind, as Hopis believe they do, it had no answer for her.
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