ONE LIFE IS NOT ENOUGH
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Also by K. Natwar Singh
E.M. Forster: A Tribute
The Legacy of Nehru
Tales from Modern India
Maharaja Suraj Mal
Curtain Raisers: Essays, Reviews and Letters
Profiles and Letters
Yours Sincerely
The Magnificent Maharaja
Heart to Heart
My China Diary (1956-88)
Walking With Lions: Tales from a Diplomatic Past
For more books like this, Contact us: indianbookdatabase@hushmail.com.
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For more books like this, Contact us:indianbookdatabase@hushmail.com.
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Rupa Publications India Pvt. Ltd 2014
7/16, Ansari Road, Daryaganj
New Delhi 110 002
Sales Centres:
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Copyright K. Natwar Singh 2014
Photos courtesy: author archives
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in a retrieval system, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher.
eISBN: 9788129134486
First impression 2014
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
The moral right of the author has been asserted.
Printed by Replika Press Pvt. Ltd, India
This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated, without the publishers prior consent, in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published.
To Hem, without whom not
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CONTENTS
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PREFACE
An unexamined life is not worth living.
Plato
I believe that life is a journey without maps. Many leaves have turned in my garden. There is now no losing or winning, there is only self-realization. Each dawn is no longer a promise.
I have made and unmade my life more than once. Immortality and reincarnation do not interest me. I worship truth and courage. I believe that no chosen people exist. The rich will prosper and the poor will not inherit the earth. I share the indignation of the African-American writer, Frank Hercules, who wrote, In my view the great obstacle to human beings was not theological sin or spiritual wickedness but congenital stupidity on account of the low evolution of the human species.
I am a short-term pessimist and a long-term optimist. I am convinced that mankind will eventually make it. Hurdles will be many. The moral crises, the breakdown of institutions, the eroding work ethic, blatant consumerism and wholesale corruption must be combated with vigour and resolution. It will be a long and exhausting undertaking but we should achieve our objective. Private decencies must be transferred to public activities.
My schadenfreude is reserved for those who live on a heap of lies. Am I on good terms with myself? At times I feel ashamed of myself, for doing what is expedient and not what is right. I have, to the best of my ability, avoided moral shortcuts. I ferociously oppose any assault on my honour or integrity. Defiance is a prominent part of my character. A price has to be paid for defiance. I have, without regret, paid the price more than once.
I do not subscribe to the gospel of equality. France pronounced in 1789 that liberty, fraternity and equality would cure the inequities of humankind. Liberty has been achieved, so also a diluted fraternity. Equality is a receding dream. No level playing fields exist. With apologies to the great Jean Jacques Rousseau, man is not born free. Equality between human beings is impossible, although they could achieve a measure of fraternity.
I believe in the great man theory. I am with Thomas Carlyle, Bertrand Russell and Isaiah Berlin, who subscribe to this theory. There would have been no freedom movement without Gandhi. He created the circumstances, they did not create him. But I reject Carlyles assertion that The history of the world is but the biography of great men. Some so-called great men have their hands deep in blood.
My nature is rooted in solitude. Boris Pasternak, the author of Dr Zhivago, called silence the best sound on earth. But solitude is in short supply in our chaotic and noisy world. There exist niches within us and shelters in the world where silence prevails.
Like E.M. Forster, I give two cheers for democracy, one because it admits variety and two because it permits criticism. Our democracy may be flawed but it has taken root. In spite of wholesale corruption and the mess left by the UPA government, I firmly hold that what is right with India is infinitely greater than what is wrong.
What are my vices? Conceit, overconfidence, occasional obstreperousness, zeal, suffering the foolish, leaping before looking.
I have a passion for history, which is not shared by a very large number of my compatriots. In the last one hundred years we have produced only three eminent historians, D.D. Kosambi, Irfan Habib and Romila Thapar. All three, left of centre.
From history I learnt that progress is not inherent in history. Dropping atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki is not a sign of progress. Two deadly world wars in a generation are melancholy examples of progress. No one denies the earth-shattering achievements in science and technology. Conscience and compassion are missing. Science is neutral on spirituality, ethics and morality.
The father of the atom bomb, J. Robert Oppenheimer, paid a heavy price for opposing the development of the hydrogen bomb. A genius was thrown to the wolves by the American establishment.
I believe in prayer. I meditate every morning. I have with reverence read our sacred books which are sublime. Religion as practised has no attraction for me. I need no pujari to stand between me and the Cosmic Master, who makes the earth go round, the stars shine and guides our destinies. This ends in my being an unapologetic determinist. My mentors are the Buddha, Ashoka, Guru Nanak, Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, Swami Vivekananda, Nelson Mandela. Not Niccol Machiavelli or Karl Marx.
I believe in friendship. It is one of the greatest joys of life. I have at times let my friends down as they have let me down. Friendship rests on trust and reliability. It is not a social contract. The heart signs no contracts. Friendship is not a bargain.
Friends ask me, How do you spend your time after being so busy and active in your life? I answer with a French phrase, Vieillir cest les autres. Only other people grow old. I enjoy old age, I read, write, relax. I listen to music, watch tennis and cricket on TV. I spend time with my grandchildren (who consider their grandparents dedicated old bores). Sometimes I sit and think. At other times I just sit.
As I was finishing this book I had a surprise visit from Sonia Gandhi and her charming daughter, on 7 May 2014. It was an extraordinary encounter. Even bizarre. They were apprehensive about my autobiography touching raw nerves.