John C. Maxwell - 25 Ways to Win with People

Copyright 2005 by John C. Maxwell

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Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

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Published in association with Yates & Yates, LLP, Attorneys and Counselors, Orange, California.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Maxwell, John C., 1947
25 ways to win with people : how to make others feel like a million bucks
/ John C. Maxwell and Les Parrott.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 0-7852-6094-3 (hardcover)
ISBN 0-7852-7954-7 (international)

1. Interpersonal relationsReligious aspectsChristianity. 2. Interpersonal communicationReligious aspectsChristianity. 3. Interpersonal relations. 4. Interpersonal communication. I. Title: Twenty-five ways to win with people. II. Parrott, Les. III. Title.
BV4597.52.M393 2005
158.2dc22

2005000103

Printed in the United States of America

05 06 07 08 09 RRD 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3

To Tom Mullins,

You are like the Pied Piper. When you walk into a room, peopleinstantly want to follow you. More than anyone I know, youembody the 25 ways to win with people. You make everyonearound you feel like a million bucksincluding me!

JOHN C. MAXWELL

To Mike Ingram and Monty Ortman,

Few people build a better business team, win more respect, andachieve bigger results than you two. You both have a winsomeway of relating to everyone you meet. Your generous spirits andyour investment in people will pay dividends for decades. I'm abetter person for having known you both.

LES PARROTT

CONTENTS

Thank you to Charlie Wetzel
for his help in writing this book.

BY JOHN C. MAXWELL

In the spring of 2004, soon after turning in the finished manuscript of Winning with People, the publisher sent out a number of advance copies of the book, as they often do, to get feedback and endorsements. One of the people who received a copy was Les Parrott.

Now, you may know Dr. Les Parrott from any one of a number of his successes: he is a professor of psychology at Seattle Pacific University, the founder of the Center for Relationship Development, a nationally successful speaker to Fortune 500 companies, and a best-selling author of books such as High-Maintenance Relationships and Love the Life YouLive. He has been a guest on CNN, The NBC Nightly News, Oprah, and other programs. But I know Les as a friend. In fact, when I first met Les, he was only a kid. He was just beginning his Ph.D. studies in psychology. And the instant I met him, I could see he was sharp. I knew he would soon be a rising star.

In the summer of 2004, I got a phone call from Les. John, he said, I loved Winning with People. I think its going to help a lot of folks. Its going to prompt them to change their attitudes and see their relationships with people in a whole new light. And by the way, I wrote a nice endorsement for it. But I have an idea for you. I think you should write a sequel. I had put my whole heart and a lifetime of relational learning into Winning with People, so I was a bit skeptical. But I have a lot of respect for Les, and he always has great ideas, so I was all ears.

Whats your idea? I asked.

Ive watched you with people for years, Les continued. When you spend time with people, you make them feel like a million bucks. Youve made me feel like a million bucks. I bet you could sit down and come up with a couple of dozen specific things that youve mastered that you could teach others to do.That got my juices flowing. And John, I think you should call the book How to Make Others Feel Like a Million Bucks.

Then Les started to rattle off some of the things he thought I should teach, such as giving others a reputation to uphold, mining the gold of good intentions, telling good stories, and helping people win. The more I thought, the more I liked the idea. Winning with People had been written to change the fundamental way people approached relationships. Doing what it suggests would take a period of time to accomplish. On the other hand, the book Les was suggesting would be able to help people learn specific skills that could be mastered in a matter of days.

You know, I said after a long pause, its a great idea.

Why dont you write it with me?

Les was surprised.

I think wed make a great team, I told him. You said yourself that youve watched me for years. Youre a trained psychologist. Together well figure out what skills to write about. Ill teach how I work with people, and you can help people understand the psychology behind the practices.

And thats how 25 Ways to Win with People came to be written. Les and I had a great time comparing notes, talking about relationships, and telling stories. My one reservation is that Les insisted on telling so many stories about me. Im not anywhere near as good as Les makes me out to be. Like everyone, Ive done stupid things, stepped on toes, and hurt peoples feelings. But I've always tried to do my best. And Im still working daily to improve my skills with others.

And I can tell you this: these skills really do work! Les and I believe that if you practice the skills in this book, your life will change. Why? Because will be able to help others see themselves in a positive light. You will often make them feel like a million bucks.

I believe there is no greater joy in life than seeing others blossom, grow, and reach their potential. This book can help you have a part in making that happen for the people in your life.

BETTER FOR HAVING
KNOWN YOU

BY LES PARROTT

Some people possess an invisible quality that draws others to them like a magnet. Theyre more than just likable. Their charisma defines everything they do and every encounter they have. Accordingly they build better teams, win more respect, and achieve bigger results. Are they merely lucky in life, blessed with personality traits that spell success without effort? Not on your life!

This alluring and invisible trait is not inherited as much as it is honed. Its a captivating spirit that can be taught and caught. For too long people havent tried to cultivate these qualities because of the false impression that you either have it or you dont. This book will help change that misinformed notion. For here you will find twenty-five of the most compelling keys to unlocking a charismatic spirita spirit that will help you win with almost everyone you encounter.