Caroline Paul - The gutsy girl : tales for your life of ridiculous adventure

To all the Gutsy Girls
who were cautioned
that they shouldnt, wouldnt, or couldnt...
and they did.
Thank you.

WARNING: Many of the situations that the author encounters in this book have inherent dangers and can lead to serious or even fatal injuries. One particular undertakingclimbing the Golden Gate Bridgeis also illegal and should not be attempted. Readers should not venture into any of these situations without professional instruction, suitable training, and proper supervision. Neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for any injuries incurred by the reader.

SOME RELEVANT DEFINITIONS

Gutsy

1. Having a great deal of nerve or courage

2. Having lots of intestines and stuff

Derring-do

Brave acts; behavior that requires courage; daring action (from the Middle English dorring don, which means daring to do, first used in 1579. Often used with words like swashbuckling, kickass, WOW!, and, of course, gutsy.)

Adventure

1. (NOUN) An exciting or remarkable experience

2. (VERB) To proceed despite risk. She decided to adventure into the wilderness, because she had loads of backpacking experience, bear-proof food cans, chocolate, a really good map, an even better head on her shoulders, an emergency kit, an A- on her school report on edible plants, and, of course, a gutsy disposition.

A SHORT NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR

Dear Gutsy Girl,

I HAVE BEEN politely asked by my lawyers and my insurance company to remind you that I have had many adventures in my life that were perfectly planned, well executed, and hazard free.

But lets face it, uneventful trips are boring. None of those adventures is in this book.

Instead, I have willfully chosen to write about the few that ended in mishap and mayhemthus frightening your parents, alerting your local hospital, and gluing you to these pagesbecause it is in those moments that I learned the most essential lessons: how to be brave, how to persevere, how to stay focused, how to laugh at myself, and more.

I am not suggesting you get yourself into the many pickles that I describe here. But the lessons are a gift from me to you. From them I hope you learn not how to avoid every hairball situation, but how to navigate your way through them, because challenging yourself is essential to a gutsy girls life of exhilaration, self-confidence, and fun.

Enough talk! Begin the book! And dont forget to read . After that, enjoy the ensuing pages. Then swan dive with exuberance into adventures of your own.

Caroline Paul

(The Author)

CHAPTER 1

DREAM BIG,
MAKE IT REAL

When I was thirteen, I read about a strange boat race. The boats were elaborate affairspaddlewheels, schooners, rowboatswith one thing in common. They were kept afloat by milk cartons.

I wasnt a sailor. I wasnt a milk carton fanatic. But for some reason I loved this idea. I wanted to build a milk carton boat. Specifically a milk carton pirate ship. I envisioned a three-masted vessel, with a plank off to one side (of course) and a huge curved prow that ended in an eagle head. So I set about collecting milk cartons. I collected from my school cafeteria. I collected from my friends. I collected from my family. I soon became familiar with the look on their faces when I explained I was building a milk carton pirate ship. It was actually a combination of looks, all rolled into one. Hahaha, what a crazy idea, the expression said. And, Good luck, kid, but I dont think its going to happen. And, Well, at least Im getting rid of my milk cartons. Then at the very end of this facial conga dance, I always caught something else. Actually, that sounds like FUN. I wish I could do that, the final look exclaimed.

You can do it, I should have said back. But its hard to contradict the large cafeteria cook who smells of sliced ham and oatmeal. I didnt say anything. But I understood the feeling.

I had been a shy and fearful kid. Many things had scared me. Bigger kids. Second grade. The elderly woman across the street. Being called on in class. The book Where the Wild Things Are. Woods at dusk. The way the bones in my hand crisscrossed.

Being scared was a terrible feeling, like sinking in quicksand. My stomach would drop, my feet would feel heavy, my head would prickle. Fear was an all-body experience. For a shy kid like me it was overwhelming.

Now I wanted to build a milk carton pirate ship and sail it along a body of water. Did I mention that I didnt know how to sail? And I use the term sail loosely. I really mean get pulled by the current to my destination. I didnt even know how to do that.

Laura Dekker was a month shy of fifteen when she set sail in 2010 on Guppy, a boat she and her father remodeled together. Her goal? To become the youngest to circumnavigate the globe alone.

Naysayers, and even the Dutch courts, tried to intervene, claiming that she was too young. She sailed anyway, stopping off at islands and ports, expertly navigating storms and wild seas.

A year and a half later, she had successfully circumnavigated the world. And you know what? She kept sailing. Today she lives aboard Guppy, her adventures continuing.

Adventure is worthwhile in itself. Amelia Earhart, pilot

What had happened to the shy and fearful kid?

She was still there. But somewhere along the way I had decided that she wasnt having a lot of fun. I wanted a life of Grand Adventure, the kind I had read about in books. So I started to kindly tell the shy and fearful girl to step back, and make way for the adventurous girl that was also there. The girl who really wanted to captain a milk carton pirate ship.

Where does a boat-builder keep her materials? Under her bed, of course. Within a month I had a bunch of milk cartons. Within two months I had more. Within three months a strange smell took hold. It hadnt occurred to me that I had to rinse anything out! Within four months I was the proud owner of 167 (now clean) milk cartons. I was ready.

I taped the tops of all the milk cartons closed. I bound them in groups of three and wrapped each group in a garbage bag. I taped the garbage bag closed and then wrapped it in another garbage bag. I didnt know much about buoyancy, but I did know that as long as I kept the water out, the milk cartons would floatlike any intelligent boat-builder, I had tested this before I began. But thats where my intelligence ended. Because I had overlooked one crucial element: I wasnt adept at building anything; I wasnt handy. More importantly my dad wasnt handy.

My dad was game, though. He didnt laugh when I told him my plan. Well, he chuckled a little, sure. But he liked the idea. He appreciated weird ideas, I found out later. He liked acupuncture before it became an accepted medical procedure. He believed in psychics. He thought that talking to animals was possible, if you put your mind to it. My dad himself was not weird. He was a banker who wore ties and shiny leather shoes to work and had one martini when he came home. But at the time I didnt know that he liked the milk carton pirate ship idea because it was weird. I thought he liked it because it was cool. He let me think that, too. Im not sure it would have mattered if I had known. I was crazy about my dad, and building a boat with him meant that we would spend time together. It felt like a crucial part of the adventure.