Sara Elliott Price - Introvert Mindset

The Introvert Mindset

How to Use Your Special Talents and

Unique Personality Traits to Create Success

Sara Elliott Price

Copyright 2014, Sara Elliott Price. All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews and certain other non commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Disclaimer: The material contained in this book is provided for informational purposes only. Always consult your physician or health care provider before the use of any programs, advice, or information in this book. Using the information and advice in this book is at the sole discretion of the reader. The author and publisher are not liable for any damages resulting from use of any advice or information provided in this book.

The information in this book is not intended as medical advice and is not intended to treat or cure any medical conditions. The reader assumes full responsibility for any choices made based on the information in this book. Neither the author nor the publisher guarantees the accuracy, quality, suitability or reliability of any information contained in this book.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Within the last decade its amazing how many books and studies have been published about introverts. These works have helped thousands of people understand themselves. Finally, its acceptable to enjoy being alone! After years of being labeled shy, antisocial or depressed, introverts across the world have begun to take ownership of their unique personality traits.

But all this new information has left others feeling confused. Could they be introverted? They dont seem to fit all the characteristics. Do you always end up being one or the other, and how can you tell? What about people who seem to be introverted in some ways and extroverted in others?

In this book well look at some of these areas, but well also go further. We want to celebrate the joys of being a quiet person in a noisy world. Furthermore, well show how our unique personality trait is a blessing we can learn to build on, not a drawback that hinders our progress among all those boisterous extroverts, or something that makes us stand out from the crowd for all the wrong reasons. In fact, the natural advantages we have as introverts can be turned into a success story of our own.

Chapter 1: Shrinking Violets in a World of Sunflowers

Introverts are quiet by nature. They dont feel the need to have loads of friends, share their thoughts with everyone, or enter into boisterous group activities and loud parties. Theyre happy to be on their own.

Thats not to say that every introvert wants to spend each minute of the day by themselves. The majority of us manage to be sociable most of the time. However, on the whole were happy to work, study and relax without needing a group of people around us. In fact, we often find it a relief to escape from the crowd and be alone because endless small talk and sharing with others doesnt come easily.

The stereotype

Of course other people dont get it. Thats why most introverts have spent years being classed as very shy. This misdiagnosis probably took place early in their childhood and they have lived with it ever since.

Introverts? How interesting I dont think I know any! an elderly woman was quoted as saying recently. She had actually been an introvert all her life but failed to recognize it, because she only knew the extremely shy and withdrawn stereotype which most people imagine when someone is described as an introvert.

To a psychologist this is inaccurate, because its not about being shy but about being inward-looking. Introverts look within themselves for their source of energy, whereas extroverts look outwards towards other people. About one in four of us have some degree of introversion; its been compared to being right- or left-handed. Its part of our nature and because of it well see and do things differently to extroverts, but its not wrong or a character defect.

However, the traditional definition persists. Not everyone is patient or sympathetic about shyness, let alone a personality trait like introversion which is generally outside peoples understanding. This means that most introverts may have experienced years of being misjudged. The end result is a great many people have grown up believing theres something wrong or abnormal about preferring their own company.

The cures

This misunderstanding can lead to all manner of problems, from little children being called shrinking violets by affectionate aunties to less kind terms used by other children and adults as they get older. Some of these terms include expressions like stand-offish, withdrawn, cold, unfriendly, and a loner.

What happens to these kids? Some introverted children may be sent to a counselor and been incorrectly labeled as having social phobia, or even as being on the autistic spectrum. Others have been forced by well-meaning parents or teachers into uncomfortable social situations and encouraged to join various groups to try to make them learn to be outgoing.

Penny was a quiet, introverted child who met few people outside family and school. Her mother decided she needed to socialize more and secretly arranged for her to join the Girl Scouts. She knew Penny would be very nervous and so she didnt tell her until shortly before the first meeting, giving her little time to prepare herself for the ordeal.

There was very little about the Girl Scouts that Penny enjoyed, although she eventually made one or two friends. The noisy group activities, summer camps and sporty mindset were completely unnatural to someone who preferred reading, playing with her siblings and pets, and doing things together as a family. However, her parents were among the vast majority of people who view introverts not only as just shy but as needing active rehabilitation.

How many times do well-meaning friends or co-workers gather round offering support and a chance to talk over some problem or other? At school, at work or at home, the answer for most people is along the lines of safety in numbers. We see it all the time on TV programs and in the movies. You shouldnt be alone, someone will say. Were coming round to talk it over. Were all going to take you out and cheer you up our treat!

Actually, these well-meaning attempts at supporting and encouraging you through any difficulties misfire and even add to the strain. Theres nothing an introvert likes better than being alone to think things through, but this is inconceivable to other people.

The solution

So how can we tell the difference between being shy and being an introvert? Is there actually any difference? Yes, there is. One of the simplest ways to decide if youre one or the other is that extremely shy people, or those with social anxiety, are not necessarily very happy about their situation. They dont get anything out of being on their own, except a sense of relief at not having to mix with others. An introvert, on the other hand, may be shy and may experience that sense of relief, but it goes further: he or she positively benefits from being alone.

If youre an introvert you draw power and energy from solitude. You need regular me-time to recharge your batteries, but its about more than a few moments peace and quiet: its about drawing strength from being on your own and spending time on whatever activities you choose to do. These often involve cerebral tasks like reading, writing books or correspondence, listening to music, studying and learning new skills or practicing a creative hobby.

The British writer Thomas Hardy wrote his classic masterpiece Far From the Madding Crowd in 1874. The title was taken from a line of Thomas Greys famous poem of 1751, Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard . Both works have as their central theme the day to day activities of country people in a remote rural environment. This idea of enjoying being away from the noise and bustle of other peoples chatter and busy-ness could be said to be pretty much a key concept for the introvert. We may not all be able to turn our backs on city life and head for the peace and quiet of the countryside, but we have the ability to create a private haven for ourselves whenever were on our own.