Richard La Ruina - Soulmate Sequence: Your Guide to Mastering Social Confidence and Finding The One

THE SOULMATE SEQUENCE:

Your Guide To Mastering Social Confidence And Finding The One

TABLE OF CONTENTS

AUTHORS NOTE

This is a book about being sociable intelligently sociable. Mastering this skill is the key to opening up your entire life. Think about it all of the best things in our lives are born from social interactions. The dream job offer landed in your lap because an acquaintance gave you a tip and then you killed it at the interview. The wonderful relationship blossomed from a friends introduction and you followed up with a series of amazing dates. Your oldest friend was drawn to you back in college because of a joke you delivered in just the right way. We often look at these situations as chance happenings but I disagree. In this book I will show you, very clearly, how to take control of your social life so that you can create these beautiful moments at will.

Ten years ago, I founded two dating advice companies one for men, one for women. Both companies are leaders in the field and have served hundreds of thousands of clients. The idea for The Soulmate Sequence was born out of conversations with my former students.

It was my practice to follow up with clients intermittently to check on their progress. Time and time again, I was hearing the same thing theyd thank me for improving their love life, but then quickly pivot to another aspect of their life in which they were experiencing massive and new-found success. These students had come to me for dating help, but had found the changes outside of the romantic realm to be far more exciting. For some students, it was a big promotion or new client; for others, it was finding a group of tight-knit friends after having suffered years of near solitude.

These conversations made it clear to me that that my work was much more far-reaching and life-changing than I had anticipated. The same principles that I had originally applied only to dating were working miracles for people on so many different levels.

In the ten years since founding those companies, Ive transitioned into a new stage of life. Im no longer an eager twenty-something going out every night to hone new techniques to share. I got married in December 2016 and at 37 years old I am more focused on my relationship, my friends and family, and how I can help as many people as possible experience more successful and satisfying lives.

What Will I Get from Reading this Book?

Weve all known someone who has that gravitational pull that draws others into their orbit: A quality that instantly engenders feelings of trust, comfort and affection. Their pull is so strong that it causes those around them to reshape how they think about their own futures, about their own journeys and life paths, based solely on this new, powerful force emanating from that magnetic person.

Think of a quickly rising politician who draws crowds wherever he or she goes, or an entrepreneurial leader who inspires others to leave their steady jobs to embark upon an exciting new future.

These are the most extreme and visible examples, but magnetism is all around us in our everyday lives. Whether its that co-worker everyone seems to like and ultimately agree with, or that friend who cant leave a party without exchanging contact details with half a dozen new people, those who are magnetic seem to embody this power effortlessly. I argue that while, yes, some people seem to have been born knowing how to be magnetic, most of us are not. The good news for the majority of us without the apparently natural ability to draw others to us is that these skills can be learned. And the goal of this book is to give you the skills, using specific techniques and guidelines, to go from being a bystander to being an influencer.

Take my personal story, for example:

Over the course of the past twelve years Ive gone from having no friends, massive social anxiety, and limited academic or financial success, to owning a thriving business, having an active social life, and a deeply fulfilling relationship.

Am I special? My mother thinks so but I can assure you, if you were to ask this question of anyone I grew up with, theyd tell you that I am most certainly not. I will be the first to argue that the skills I used to overcome the obstacles in my early life are something that can be learned. Over time and much study, I have developed a process that allows me to quickly understand people, connect with them, and create long-lasting and deeply trusting relationships, which benefit everyone involved. Again, most of us are not born knowing how to connect with people. If you have picked up this book, my guess is that you are one of them. Rest easy, I am one of you, too. And I am proof that the ability to foster relationships can be learned. If you commit yourself to this cause, I promise that it will be the most beneficial thing you do in your adult life.

It all boils down to thismost naturally magnetic people draw their power to influence others by genuinely operating from a place of empathy and unwavering integrity. This is the fundamental principle underlying the actionable techniques I want to share with you.

If there is one thing Ive learned in my years as a dating coach, its that sharing theories is not enough. This is not a book of theoretical advice, but instead it is full of practical lessons for the real world. The goal here is to provoke action and positive change by giving you actionable steps to take when you are faced with specific life situations that you may struggle with.