Bethenny Frankel - A Place of Yes: 10 Rules for Getting Everything You Want Out of Life

Naturally Thin

The Skinnygirl Dish

Touchstone
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Copyright 2011 by BB Endeavors, LLC

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First Touchstone hardcover edition March 2011

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Frankel, Bethenny.

A place of yes : 10 rules for getting everything you want out of life / by Bethenny Frankel, with Eve Adamson.
p. cm.

1. Self-actualization (Psychology). 2. Self-realization.
3. Self-defeating behavior. 4. Success. 5. Frankel, Bethenny.
I. Adamson, Eve. II. Title.
BF637.S4F723 2011

646.7dc22 2010050090

ISBN 978-1-4391-8690-9
ISBN 978-1-4391-8692-3 (ebook)

my passionate, fearless, inappropriate, supportive, caring, hilarious fans.

You go for it, you want more, you believe in yourselves and in the fight and you know that good enough simply isnt good enough.

You have come into my life and allowed me to come into yours. Everything I do is to show you that anything and everything is possible, and we will get there together.

Trust this book, love yourself, and allow yourself to live the life you always dreamed of.

Contents

Introduction
Who I Am, What This Book Is About, and What You Need to Know Before You Begin

Rule 1
Break the Chain: Surviving Childhood

Rule 2
Find Your Truth: How I Finally Met My Match

Rule 3
Act on It: My Dream Evolves

Rule 4
Everythings Your Business: Finding My Stride As an Entrepreneur

Rule 5
All Roads Lead to Rome: The Rise and Fall of BethennyBakes

Rule 6
Go for Yours: The Apprentice, Martha, and Me

Rule 7
Separate from the Pack: My Life as a Housewife

Rule 8
Own It: Bethenny Getting Married?

Rule 9
Come Together: My Life Now

Rule 10
Celebrate!: The Business of Being Happy

Introduction

Who I Am, What This Book Is About, and What You Need to Know Before You Begin

M y parents make me crazy. Ill be stuck in this job for the rest of my life. I cant stop spending money. Ill never find the perfect guy so I might as well just settle. I dont care if I end up single, Id rather be alone. Why do I get so irritated at my husband? I cant stop eating. Ill never get in shape, so why bother? I dont spend enough time with my kids, am I a bad mother? Why cant I get organized? I cant sleep. I have no self-control. Did I sell out? My life is not what I once thought it could be. Maybe I should just accept that I cant have it all.

Does any of this sound familiar? If you have any of these thoughts, if you look at your life and you think, Is this as good as it gets? or even if you dont really want to look under your hood because youre afraid of letting thoughts like this come out, then this book is for you.

A Place of Yes is about how to stop saying no and start saying yes to your own life. Its about how to get unstuck and start moving forward with vision and a plan and the guts to tackle any obstacles that get in your way. Its about looking, really looking at your life, then rolling up your sleeves and getting your hands dirty and making it into the life you really want.

Its easy to say no, to say I cant, to expect the worst, and doubt yourself. Expecting the worst feels safer because when you fail, you wont be disappointed.

But your life can be better than just good enough. It can be amazing. You can be more successful, more fulfilled, healthier, and happier than you are right now.

I know what its like to think some of these negative thoughts and worse. Believe me, it has been a long road to where I am today. Ive cried, pounded the pavement, picked myself up and brushed myself off time and again. I know what its like to doubt myself and feel out of control. I know what its like to go for weeks without a good nights sleep. Many times, Ive just wanted to give up. But I have also figured out how to conquer the noise in my head that holds me back and tells me I dont deserve everything good in my life. Ive learned to listen to the voice inside that shows me the path forward and gives me a push. Ive learned how to come from a place of yes, and it continues to be a worthwhile struggle every day of my life. Make no mistakeit is hard, but it makes my life better. It has made my life what it is today.

Fear, doubt, and defaulting to no are the reasons why so few people end up where they really want to be. Life is easier when you settle for less than your dreams, but good enough is not good enough for me. Is it really good enough for you? Most people dont bother trying to go all the way with their lives. They are afraid, or they just dont believe they can have anything better than they have now.

But you are reading this book, so I already know you want to come from a place of yes. I already know you want something more than settling for just okay.

A Place of Yes is your road map to changing the way you do things and to taking action when good enough isnt good enough. Coming from a place of yes can color everything else you do. No matter who you are and what you do in life, it will transform you. Its like upgraded software for your life. It will change your world.

My name is Bethenny Frankel, and you might know me from my first book, Naturally Thin, or from my second book, The Skinnygirl Dish. You might know me from The Real Housewives of New York City, or from Martha Stewart: Apprentice , or from my own shows, Bethennys Getting Married? and Bethenny Ever After. Maybe youve seen me on Skating with the Stars , or tried my Skinnygirl cocktails, or seen my column in Health magazine, or seen me on the cover of a magazine.

Or maybe youve never heard of me at all but picked up this book because the title intrigued you and your interest was piqued by the promise on the cover. Frankly, it doesnt matter whether youve heard of me or not. Youre here, and Im here, and if you are reading this, were in this journey together. We may not have started in the same place, but we can walk together for a while, and I bet well all be better for the company.

This book isnt a memoir. Im not Barbara Walters. I havent lived long enough to write my autobiography. I cant yet look back on my life with that kind of wisdom because my life is, in many ways, just getting started. Ive still got a lot to do, and Im the first to admit that I am still very flawed.

This is just my story so far, coupled with my advice to you, because while my life isnt over yet, Ive come a long way, and Ive learned a lot, and I hope to inspire you and help save you from some of the mistakes Ive made in the past. So, while I will share my story with you, I do so with the knowledge that my story isnt nearly finished.