Gutowski - My Life as Eva

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Copyright 2017 by Eva Gutowski

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Gallery Books Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

First Gallery Books hardcover edition February 2017

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Interior design and illustrations by Jane Archer (janearcher.nyc | @psbellanyc)

Jacket design by Chelsea McGuckin

Jacket photography by Koury Angelo

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN 978-1-5011-4666-4

ISBN 978-1-5011-4674-9 (ebook)

ve always been the type of girl to believe in fantasiesalmost a bit too much. Growing up, I managed to bury my head in any books I could get my hands on. Maybe it was because I enjoyed the immense benefits of bettering my education... or because my grandma used to pay me a quarter every time I read a book as a kid. Either way, it turned me into a total romantic, and a crazy, wild dreamer. Books took my mind to a place Id never been before, and a place that, at the time, I thought I could never go.

Truth is, books are really all I had sometimes. My family couldnt afford to get me all the things I wanted, but one thing thats for certain is that they always made sure I had books to read. Honestly, going to the bookstore when I was a teen was practically more exciting than going to Disneyland. My grandma used to take me down the street to the (now closed) popular bookstore and just wait at the cafe for me while I searched and searched for the perfect books to buy.

Ive always been completely enthralled by stories I could only get my hands on when I opened a book. Stories are my everything. Sometimes I ask myself why. Why do I fall in love with these stories and characters? Why do I fall in love with these stories so easily? Maybe its just that: love . Im a hopeless romantic. I believe in magic. I believe in fairy tales existing somewhere out there in this world, and I love the idea of the kind of fairy tale youd read about in a book happening to little old me.

Books made me see the world a little differently. They made me think that getting my first kiss would be magical, that I could go all the way until my sophomore year of high school before finding out I was actually a princess, and that maybe someday an owl would show up at my window and take me away to hone my skills as a wizard.

None of which happened.

However, a few good things came out of reading, like my love for writing. And story-telling. Growing up, I wrote every single night in composition journals that cost seventy-five cents, and stashed them under my bed hoping my parents wouldnt find them (they totally probably did).

[Side note: Mom, if youre reading this and actually did find my journalsplease just lie to me and say you didnt. I will actually die if you tell me you read them!]

I wrote songs, poems, and scripts, and even attempted to write a few novels... all of which I could never find time between schoolwork to finish. I guess I just wanted to create a few stories of my own.

Its been a few years now, and even though I never finished any of the books I started writing when I was growing up, I told myself that if I could just finally finish one someday, Id be happy. I didnt know how it would happen, or when, or what this magical finished book would even say inside its pages, but I knew if I worked hard enough, eventually Id see my name on a shiny, glossy book cover. With my name as the author.

So here is my book. A book by meEva!

Wow, twenty-one years old and already a published author?

DAAAAAMN, EVA!

As I finish the writing of this book, its 2016, and senior year of college is approaching, although Im taking a year hiatus due to my YouTube commitments. Its been a long journey of growing up, and even though Im still not nearly close to done with growing, I have a lot of stories that are itching to be told.

Now I must warn you that Im nowhere near an expert on typical how-to things: like, here is a list of things I cant teach you...

How to bake a cake that doesn't come from a box.

Seriously, why would you bake a cake from scratch when they have literal cake in a box... like, just add water and an egg. It aint that serious.

How to do a fishtail braid.

Look, Ive been taught how to fishtail three times and still cant do it on my own.

How to get your cat out of a tree.

My cat cant climb trees. Her legs are too little. Thats a good thing.

Expert advice on how to be the perfect human is not my forte. However, I can tell you this:

Youre going to go through a lot of different stages in your life. Literally, Ive been through it all. From the emo stage to the scene stage, from crying all night from desperate sadness to crying all night from helpless laughter.

And life wont be easy at some points, but you have to realize life isnt supposed to be easy. If everyone lived their lives with no sadness, no pain, and nothing going absolutely and completely wrong, how would we appreciate the simple but amazing moments? You have to push through the bad times to get to the magical times, and I can tell you that my life, though not always perfect, is pretty freaking magical.

So if youre looking for a guide to making you cool or popular, or if you want to learn how to do the perfect French-braided topknot or contoured cheekbones, this may not be the book for you. I still cant fishtail-braid my hair and Ive been taught like a hundred times (yes, I know I said three, but its really more like over a hundred!). Instead, this book is all about teaching you how to love yourself for exactly who you are. Being okay with what your momma gave you and rocking it.