Copyright 2020 by Rockridge Press, Emeryville, California
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Sections 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without the prior written permission of the Publisher. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, Rockridge Press, 6005 Shellmound Street, Suite 175, Emeryville, CA 94608.
Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: The Publisher and the author make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this work and specifically disclaim all warranties, including without limitation warranties of fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales or promotional materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for every situation. This work is sold with the understanding that the Publisher is not engaged in rendering medical, legal, or other professional advice or services. If professional assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought. Neither the Publisher nor the author shall be liable for damages arising herefrom. The fact that an individual, organization, or website is referred to in this work as a citation and/or potential source of further information does not mean that the author or the Publisher endorses the information the individual, organization, or website may provide or recommendations they/it may make. Further, readers should be aware that websites listed in this work may have changed or disappeared between when this work was written and when it is read.
For general information on our other products and services or to obtain technical support, please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at (866) 744-2665, or outside the United States at (510) 253-0500.
Rockridge Press publishes its books in a variety of electronic and print formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books, and vice versa.
TRADEMARKS: Rockridge Press and the Rockridge Press logo are trademarks or registered trademarks of Callisto Media Inc. and/or its affiliates, in the United States and other countries, and may not be used without written permission. All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners. Rockridge Press is not associated with any product or vendor mentioned in this book.
Interior and Cover Designer: Brian Lewis
Art Producer: Samantha Ulban
Production Editor: Andrew Yackira
courtesy of Madison Chertow.
ISBN: Print 978-1-64739-949-8 | eBook 978-1-64739-560-5
R0
For my mother, Lourdes, my constant teacher
in life and now in spirit. For my father, Jack,
my own living Buddha.
CONTENTS
Im so happy you found your way here, to this book, and this moment. Were in an age of anxiety and live in a world where we are so hard on ourselves. Im Laurasia Mattingly, a meditation teacher, and a student of life.
My own journey to self-love is a long and never-ending one, and meditation and mindfulness have become non-negotiables for me along the way. Both meditation and mindfulness have not only helped me heal from chronic anxiety and panic attacks, but also helped me overcome the deep grief I experienced after the loss of my mom.
I remember well the night my mom passed away. I saw her take her last breath as her soul left her body. That was the moment everything changed for me. It was a sad moment, but also peaceful because I realized she was no longer suffering. In that moment I knew there had to be more to life than what meets the eye. What used to be important to me no longer mattered. Her short life taught me that success isnt measured by how much I accomplished, but rather by how fully present and full of love I was each day. I learned that my mission here on earth is to share the importance and necessity of spreading love, to embody love and to walk in our truth, which is love.
After my mom passed, I worked with several mentors and spiritual teachers with decades of training and backgrounds in Buddhism, mindfulness, and tantra. Learning the ancient tools and techniques of meditation has helped me transform my life, and Im happy to share them with you here in a relatable and approachable way. The teachings that I discuss everyday with my students are based in the Buddhist heart practices, which were created to ease the suffering of all beings.
A common thread among all the teachings, trainings, and silent retreats that I attended was the teaching of self-compassion, a quality where one learns to turn toward their own difficulties and care for them. Self-compassion is self-love. Before I found meditation, I used to run from my problems, take medication to numb the anxiety and depression, and pretend everything was fine and dandy. It was self-love that taught me to love all of myself fully, on the good days, and most important, on the bad days. My passion is sharing the tools and techniques that worked for me so that you, too, can find peace, ease, and love within yourself.
This book is filled with daily anecdotes of stories, teachings, and tools to help you find your way back to loving yourself. I encourage you to use this book in a way that works best for you. You may read entries in order, one per day, or flip to any page and find a lesson that resonates. You may also pick a specific topic from the index and go from there. The important thing to know is that there is no right or wrong way to use these meditations. The fact that you picked up this book and are reading it now means that you are already taking a step in the right direction, toward self-love.
What a gift it is to be alive! As humans we become so consumed with our difficulties that we often forget to celebrate the miracle of our aliveness. Being human is the greatest gift. To be able to breathe, feel, and experience the world is something worth celebrating every day. We wake up and our minds automatically begin to sort through our to-do lists, our problems, our distractions. Let us wake up and celebrate our precious lives. Feel the air on your skin, the breath in your lungs, the beating of your heart. Feel your aliveness and celebrate. We are alive!
As you breathe, begin to sense your aliveness, your heartbeat, your vitality. Rejoice in being alive. Rejoice in this gift of being human.
Our difficulties weigh heavily on the heart. Sometimes difficulties consume us and we feel it. Its all we think about, or we feel it physically in the body. Sometimes we are unaware that they consume us, and it spills out into our lives, in the way we speak, the way we act, the way that we are. I once had a meditation teacher on a silent retreat ask the class, Who said you have to carry it? Put it down. This is something I have to remind myself of often. If we are the ones choosing to carry the load, we are the ones who can choose to put it down.
Sense what is weighing heavy on your heart. As you breathe, imagine the heaviness being lifted. Feel the gift of lightness.
Turning inward can be scary, especially if we dont love what we see. When I first started meditating, I was afraid to turn inward because I knew anxiety and depression were living inside me. I thought those emotions were wrong. But Ive learned there is no right or wrong way to feel. There is just being human. We are feeling humans who experience the full texture of life. We feel joy, sorrow, and everything in between. Our mindfulness is a refuge, a place where we can exist exactly as we are. So let us learn to come back home to ourselves, whatever that looks like and however that feels.
